Laugh tracks in the dust

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Folks, it’s that time of the year again when, wind permitting, we’re setting the Flint Hills on fire. Two evenings ago, the wind died down and the folks who pasture around Damphewmore Acres pulled out the drip-torches and set the dry prairie grass on fire.

By 10 p.m. a half-section of grass was ash. For convenience sake, and to save time, it wuz easier to backfire around Damphewmore Acres and leave me to burn my own grass, which will be easy now that three sides of my property are effectively fireproof. I’m just waiting for a bit of moisture and an easterly or southeasterly wind before I finish the burning job.

If we get the little rain forecast for the next two days, within a week the “black hills” will begin their annual restoration to the “green hills.” It’s amazing to see the benefits of fire on the native grasses.

It’s always a bit exciting to get involved in a sizable grass burn and once all the backfires are successful, it’s beautiful to watch the hills burn at night.

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In spite of the dry conditions here, I finally decided to plant a little garden. Got my spuds planted and broccoli plants transplanted and protected from the chickens. I’ll continue planting if and when we get some moisture. I’m not going to “dust in” my seeds because it’s pointless. Same with my “chicken forage” plots and my wildlife plot seedings. Surely it will rain soon.

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I mentioned the on-going “archeological findings” that regularly “unearth” themselves around our barns. Just today, I saw what appeared to be the end of an old square nail protruding from the soil near my chicken house. But, when I tried to pick it up, I discovered it was the square tip of an ancient metal file buried a couple of inches deep. I added it to my treasure trove of “rusty stuff” I’ve discovered.

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I must mention that the Chase County High School girls’ softball team, the Lady Bulldogs, finally set a new record for consecutive wins. After winning a double-header to start this season, the Lady Bulldogs set the new state record for Class 2A at 73 games. The last time the Chase County gals lost a softball game wuz April 3, 2012.

That’s quite an achievement for any sport because you’d think the law of averages would cause the ball to bounce unfavorably for the team at least once in the last three years.

The Lady Bulldogs have earned three straight state 2A softball titles during their undefeated string. After such a strong start to this season, who knows, perhaps a fourth straight state title is in the cards for the team?

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My friend, Rollin Birdz, has a grand-daughter who is enrolled in the 4-H poultry project. This week one of her hens squeezed out an improbable egg. The hen laid a soft-shelled egg, complete with yolk and white, but the soft egg contained within it a complete and normal hard-shelled egg.

I’ve seen a lot of strange-shaped eggs in my long life, including some huge double-yolkers, but I’ve never seen a “two-fur” egg like that one.

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Okay, I’m on a chicken theme now, so here’s a chicken story.

A farmer stops in to visit with his neighbor about buying some hay, and the visitor sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders strutting around the barnyard. He says, “What on earth is that rooster get-up all about?”

The rooster owner says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep

him warm.”

“Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?”

The rooster owner replied, “Just for kicks and chuckles. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching that rooster’s antics when he catches a hen.”

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And, from Colorado comes this funny. When Smith, a long-tenured hired man on a High Plains irrigated farm, learned that he was being fired, he went to see his boss, the farm owner.

“Since I’ve been working for you for so long,” Smith said, “I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation.”

The farm owner agreed and said he’d have the letter of recommendation the next day.

The following morning, the farmer handed Smith this letter: “Jonathan Smith worked for our farm for 11 years. When he left us, we were very satisfied.”

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I guess I’d better decide how to sign-off this week’s column. These words of wisdom were included in an e-mail from a friend. He gave no attribution, but the words are still wise. A grandmother said, “”Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.” A mentor said, “To be successful, read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.”

Those are, indeed, wise words about living and success. Have a good ‘un.

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