“Laugh Tracks in the Dust”

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This past week has featured nasty, overcast, chilly, windy weather for the most part. But that hasn’t kept it from being an interesting one around Damphewmore Acres from a wildlife standpoint.
First, two of our neighborhood kids — young men, brothers, actually — whom I have dubbed the Patient Duo — have two game trail cameras activated on Damphewmore Acres. They’re trying to bag deer during the bow season, which is now open.
The pictures of wildlife recorded by their trail cams pretty well covers the gamut of game expected — a large whitetail buck, a middle-size antlered buck, a fork-horned buck and a spike buck, doe deer and fawns of all sizes, as many as three coyotes at a time, a parade of raccoons, a possum, two feral house cats, squirrels, one wild turkey, two coveys of quail, and a wide assortment of song birds.
So far, the Patient Duo hasn’t bagged any venison, but they will if putting hours on end in a tree stand and a ground blind is what it takes.
When they aren’t deer hunting, the Patient Duo also spends hours waiting in their duck/goose blinds by my pond. So far, their diligence has netted five fat mallards and a teal.
The upland bird season opened Nov. 11. I went hunting some pen-raised quail with my good minister friend Saul M. Reader and we had a good hunt, although my energetic Brittany, Mandy, is still having handling and retrieving issues that we’re working on. The next day, I went hunting some of my wild quail with the Patient Duo and we flushed two scattered coveys and only harvested two birds for our effort. We still walked enuf to wear this old geezer out.
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Also last week, our Iowa friend Pegan Ray, who overwinters in Arizona, stopped for two days of fishing, despite the nasty weather. I hadn’t expected much action with the cold water and easterly gales, but much to my surprise, the first afternoon we pretty much filled up an ice chest with 28 bass and one crappie. We were about frozen by the time we got that mess of fish filleted.
The next day, we got skunked fishing, but Pegan had plenty of fresh fish fillets to share with his Arizona friends.
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I finally had to break down and replace the worn out tires on my old pickup truck. The endless miles of gravel road finally took their toll and that toll amounted to more than $800 for the new tires. At least, I also bought some 10-ply peace of mind with that sum. While I wuz at it, I also got an oil and filter change for the truck, and got it washed and cleaned inside, too. I wash the truck at least twice a year whether or not it needs it. 😉
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I had to chuckle when I read and heard about new research supposedly proving that any sip of any kind of alcoholic beverage can be cancer-causing. I’m not chuckling because I think the research is wrong. I’m chuckling because it comes after years of advice from the medical community that a daily glass of red wine is heart healthy, that a few ounces of alcohol might actually ease aches and pains, and beer contains heathful antioxidants .
To me, the truth is that in the modern era, research results usually are dictated more by funding sources than by unbiased science. To wit, remember not so long ago that eggs would kill you. Now they’re recommended. Cream and butter would clog your arteries. Now they’re recommended. Coffee would kill you. But now not so much. The official government food pyramid has been turned end for end.
My worthless advice: Pretty much ignore or be judicious about nutritional research and eat and drink stuff you like in moderation and always leave room for dessert. It won’t hurt to do a little exercise or work if you can, but try not to let work interfere with a little recreational time.
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As an only child, I have never had a Big Brother, until now. The internet came to the rescue. Proof? Last week I went online to browse for some clothing items that I may want to buy for the winter weather that’s surely coming soon. After I stopped browsing, the very next news website that I entered — I’m talking only a minute or two — lo and behold, up popped several ads for the very items I’d been shopping for. To me that’s a bit scary. My online appearance is not in the least private. To me that’s Big Brotherism and I don’t like it. That’s why I prefer to do my shopping in a local store if at all possible.
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My ol’ buddy Jay Esse, Lakeview, Colo., said he knows a farmer who was celebrating with all his pals at a local sports bar when the guy received an irate phone call from his wife.
After a few moments on the phone, he hung up and said, “Sorry, fellas, I have to go home. How wuz I to know that when my wife said we should celebrate our anniversary this evening, that she meant we should go our together?”
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On the eve of his wedding, a young rural lad had a heart to heart talk with his dad. He queried, “You and mom have been happily married for decades. I’m worried that I will make some mistakes in my marriage that might keep my new wife and I from enjoying the same happiness you and mom have enjoyed. Any advice you can give me?”
His dad replied sagely, “The secret for me is just to put marriage mistakes out of my head. I figger there’s no use in two people keeping track of them.”
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Here’s a serious question for a column ender. Does it count as exercise if you’re always running late?” Have a good ‘un .

-Milo Yield

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