Color & commentaries

Laugh Tracks in the Dust

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This is about my favorite time of the year. Why? My two favorite colors — purple and yellow — are everywhere I look, regardless of direction — when I’m standing in the middle of my yard.

Yep, there’s as much purple and yellow in our yard as there is green — thanks to the proliferating growth of that pesky, purple early-weed henbit, and to the ever-present yellow dandelions.

And, to add to my “color” pleasure, the purple redbud trees are in full bloom, the apple trees are in full pink bloom, the purple grape hyacinths are blooming, Nevah’s purple phlox groundcover is beautifully blooming; the tulips are blooming, too, and, lastly, the purple martins have finally returned to their birdhouses.

The martins are about 3 weeks late in arriving and I feared that the deadly winter sub-zero weather might have affected them. But, the first martin scouts are busy doing what they always do up arrival — evicting the starlings and the sparrows from the bird house apartments the martins want for their own.

Got quite a lot done the last few days. Finished planting my spuds, mowed the lawn for the first time, and got last year’s tall, dead ornamental landscaping grasses cut and on the next year’s compost pile.

As for the rest of the Flint Hills. About 1/3 of them are black from recent burning; 1/3 are greening up from burning, and the rest are being burned daily.
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While I’m on the subject of color, you’ll recall that I’m partially colorblind. I have a tough time seeing shades of red and green.

One of my big complaints about our former television provider — Dish Net — wuz that it highlighted in red all the changes that I wanted to make with the remote controller. I simply couldn’t see the red. It wuz frustrating.

Well, hallelujah, some high-up decision-maker of new television provider DirecTV was astute enough to realize that 10 percent of all men are colorblind to a degree, and, hence, all the changes I need to make with my new remote are highlighted in blue, which I can see easily.

Now, I need some transportation big-wig to get smart about putting a spot of blue in the middle of red traffic lights. Colorblind folks like me could rejoice.
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We attended a real fun birthday party last weekend. It wuz our great-grandson’s first birthday party. He got covered up with nice gifts from family and friends, but the most fun wuz watching him get elbow-deep, and completely face-smeared into his birthday cake. What a fun mess! Glad I didn’t have to clear it up.
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Now, I want to make a couple of social commentaries. The first is about recycling small lithium batteries — like flashlight batteries and hearing aid batteries. It used to be I could recycle them at the local Radio Shack. Well, last week I stopped at Radio Shack to make sure it still recycled batteries. The clerk said the company quit recycling because it became too much of a hassle.

He said I could recycle the batteries at the city landfill, but I would have to pay a fee. What? Why should I have to pay a fee to recycle something that the government wants recycled?
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My second social commentary is that I’ve figgered out the source of the biggest volume of waste paper. It’s endless envelopes from political fundraising money-grubbers containing heartbreaking pleas to send cash — a minimum of $25 up to thousands.

I’ve got some unsolicited advice for all those money-grubbers. Just spend the vast sums of money you already have finding and funding political candidates who can win elections. Don’ spend all your money trying to get more donations.

I will say this. All that money-grubbing political junk mail makes wonderful compose when it’s shredded and mixed equally with chicken manure.
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Okay, I like this story. Microsoft’s Bill Gates, the biggest farmland owner in the U.S., attended an ag expo and made the bold statement that “If agriculture tractor makers had kept up with technology like the computer industry, tractors would be selling for less than $500, would have high fuel efficiency, and be able to pull five times as heavy loads.”

Upon hearing that statement, an ag manufacturing business group, countered with these observations: “But, if tractors were like Microsoft computers, farmers could expect their tractors to crash twice a day. And, they’d expect to have to buy a new tractor frequently just to ‘keep up’ with technology. And, they’d expect their tractors to quit right in the middle of a field, for no apparent reason, and they’d restart and keep working.

“And, occasionally, your tractor would execute a maneuver and then the engine would quit and you’d have to re-install the engine, and, strangely, the farmers would accept that quirk unquestioned. And, finally, if your tractor was involved in a crash, the farmer would have no idea what happened.”
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Words of wisdom for the week: “In men, ear-lids are as common as eyelids.” Have a good un.

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