Wacky News

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Dylan Yoder
Columnist

Our world is simply the most convoluted place in existence. Or rather, the most convoluted place that we know about. The incredible complexities of life all around us give us endless wonder and amazement as we attempt to comprehend our preposterous position in the universe. But before I get too philosophical and deep on you, I’d like to point out that there is quite a bit of weirdness and wonkiness in our world each and every day, some of which are actually quite entertaining. And while the stories in this article won’t necessarily make you question your position in life or the world, they will certainly make you question the same about others. Without further ado, let’s take a look at some bizarre stories and accounts in today’s world.  You know it’s the fall harvest season when you can carve out your pumpkins into canoes! Wait a minute… that’s not how the saying goes. Regardless, that’s exactly what this Nebraska farmer decided to do with his rotund orange produce. On Duane Hanson’s 60th birthday, he decided he had one thing in mind, to travel down the Missouri River for 38 miles in a pumpkin that he had hollowed out. This was no record-winning pumpkin either, being just large enough for it’s ‘captain’ to kneel inside of it and row along. Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t think I’d be trusting something like that to take me down a treacherous river ride. Especially if I pulled my boat out of my garden the week before.
For a bit of local feature in wackiness, how about this Wichita resident who was recently booked into a Mexican prison by “simple mistake”. Flying to Cancun Mexico definitely sounds like a fun idea, until you’re detained in an airport for having accidental contraband on you and arrested for a certain number of days. Which is exactly what happened to this unlucky Wichitan couple. By sheer accident, they mistakenly carried bullets with them into the airport. These magazines happened to be mixed in with their various first aid supplies, and the discovery of these rounds by authorities landed Mr. Pat Bollig in a Mexican jail. Talk about an unfortunate end to your vacation. Definitely not the relaxing time that they were looking for.
Now, don’t go thinking that all this weird behavior falls outside of your behavior and participation, because the next story I have is about the whole of America. You’ve heard about emotional support dogs, cats, and even horses, but have you heard about emotional support alligators? Yes, that’s right, an emotional support alligator from Pennsylvania, who is currently in the lead running for America’s Favorite Pet. His popularity can mostly be attributed to his viral videos on Tik Tok, but that’s you Americans that have been voting for this animal. Just imagine, having a family alligator instead of a family dog. How bizarre for sure.
There are a good variety of wacky stories from all across the globe. Furthermore, with the touchdown of Hurricane Ian, there are plenty of weird and devastating circumstances for people to be in. With that being said, it’s important to remember that wacky news and weird things happen to people in all different kinds of ways. In many ways, these pieces of news are amusing. But in others, we must learn to help one another through the abnormal bonkers behavior of our world. With all that being said, make time to be your own special kind of wacky today, or help someone who’s struggling through an odd and difficult time. But whatever you do, stay weird, and have fun doing it.

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