Kansas is home to the rube’s rule

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The rube’s rule is new to Kansas politics, granted to legislators too thick-headed to know what they’re doing ‒ and a hick’s pass to the citizens who vote for them.

Kansas has become ground zero in a far right dash to incapacity unmatched in the history of stupor, a legislature of incomparable dim-wittedness and a constituency to elect it. The resulting government is known as the rube’s rule.

The rube’s rule takes many forms, depending on the topic. In finance, it’s that abolishing taxes for business and the wealthy may lead to state bankruptcy but at least it will produce jobs that don’t exist.

In health care, the rube’s rule is that the poor don’t need affordable health care, just a faith healer who works for free.

In education, the rube’s rule is that local schools do not need more money, they need teachers who work for a church.

In social welfare, the rube’s rule is that the poor don’t need assistance, just a good thrift shop. They’re only as poor as they look.

Women’s rights are no special case, as some allege. The rube’s rule in this case is that women don’t need access to family planning, just access to an abortionist – preferably one who takes checks from out-of-state.

Voting rights? Jim Crow never had it this plain: White people use one ballot and ethnics, another. But everyone has the benefit of electronic voting because the machines are rigged for all. What good is an election if we don’t know who’s supposed to win?

Immigration is complicated for those who don’t understand the rube’s rule: In the land of the free, some people are welcome and others aren’t allowed.

With the topic of jobs and the Kansas economy, the rube’s rule is that people who are out of work should look for work, and those who can’t find it should look some more.

Separation of church and state? In Kansas, the rube’s rule is that the church should stay out of government on Sunday, or the other way ‘round: Sunday stays out of government on weekends.

Gun control? The rube’s rule is that guns are killed by people, not guns.

The death penalty is a tough one, but not for the rube’s rule, which is that the new Republicans are against punishing capital.

Gay marriage? The rube’s rule: A marriage license would be issued to any couple who signs Grover Norquist’s no-tax pledge.

The hick’s pass comes to all the freedumb lovers who think they can vote their way to good government. People can’t survive long in a place that protects their vote. The rube’s rule in Kansas is for electronic voting, the Kobach system that guarantees results before an election, not afterwords.

‒ JOHN MARSHALL

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