Laugh tracks in the dust: Odds and Ends

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This turns out to be an odds and ends column. So, I’ll start with an odd, but true, story.

My friend, ol’ Lon G. Horner, has an addendum story this week to tell about his Great Pyrenees pup — an energetic canine very interested in the Longhorn cattle on Lon’s ranch. You’ll recall, the pup’s 200-mile adventure from last week.

Well, recently a nearly 20-year-old Longhorn cow had a healthy calf, but her age caught up with her and Lon ended up with an orphan calf, which he started bottle-feeding. The calf wasn’t in a pasture close to his home, so Lon caught the calf, put a halter on it, and loaded it into his trailer and took it home, so it would be handier to feed.

When he arrived home, he opened the side door on the stock trailer, pulled the calf into a little pen not 10 feet away from the trailer, turned it loose, shut the trailer side-door and went to the house for the night.

The next morning, when he went to feed the calf, he couldn’t find his Pyrenees pup. Since the breed has a reputation for nighttime wandering, Lon drove by all the neighbors’ homes. He looked high and low for the pup, but no luck all day.

The next morning, still no pup and he wuz thinking the worst had happened. But then, he happened to look into his stock trailer. Yep, you guessed it. There wuz his happy pup, none the worse for wear and tear except for a powerful thirst

The pup loaded itself into the trailer while Lon unloaded the orphan calf. At least this time, Lon didn’t have to drive 100 miles to retrieve his pup. I don’t think Pyrenees are considered a heeling dog, but Lon’s is sure a trailer dog.

***

Last week at our Old Boar’s Breakfast Club, I finally got to meet in person ol’ Sawyer Bord, a farmer-carpenter and faithful reader from Colorado. He trekked to see his cousin in our neighborhood and our breakfast club wuz on his bucket list.

Turns out, ol’ Sawyer is a spitting image of a tad younger Willie Nelson. We had a great visit, during which he told me that another of item on his bucket list is to catch some kind of fish in every state in the Union. He says he not there yet, but getting close. That’s the kind of new friend I like to make.

***

I love to tell “do dumb thing” stories about other folks, so, in fairness, I can’t leave myself out when I do a real dumb thing. I wuz cleaning my brooder house getting ready for new chicks next week and I needed a new  short, heavy-duty extension cord for one of the brooder lamps. Well, I have a few six foot extension cords that I cut off of worn out chicken and dog water heaters, but, naturally, they all lack a female end for the cord.

I wuz pretty sure I had one in my “electrical supplies drawer” in the garage, so I took a look-see and, sure enuf, saw just what I needed.

I spent the next 20 minutes hooking the new end to the extension cord and decided to test it out before I took it to the brooder house. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I now had an extension cord that had an old male plug-in on one end and a perfectly new male plug-in on the other.

Yep, in my old demented state I’d made the ultimate electrical boo-boo. Turns out, I didn’t even have a female plug-in amongst my electrical supplies. So, I took a bit longer extension cord from the wall and used it. I’ll undo my boo-boo at a later date, unless someone wants a cheap extension cord with two male plug-ins on it.

***

I forgot to mention in earlier columns about the April Fool’s prank I played on my gullible old Iowa sheep-shearing buddy, Nick deHyde. April 1 wuz on a Saturday and I figgered Nick would be headed to a sheep-shearing job. So I called him and, sure enuf, I caught him on the road.

We exchanged a few pleasantries and then I said the real reason that I called wuz because ol’ Nevah and I, on our recent vacation to Phoenix, had visited a casino and been lucky enuf to win a free give-away of four airline tickets to the nation’s Capital — so the lucky foursome could visit the national monuments and war memorials. I wonder is Nick and his wife Tanna would like to accompany us.

Gullible Nick bought it hook, line and sinker and replied, “No kidding? It might work for us.”

I replied, “Yeh, kidding for sure, you April Fool!”

He replied, “I ought to turn this pickup around, drive to Kansas and kick your butt.”

I replied, “Come on. After the butt-kicking we’ll go fishing.”

***

I received an new flag pole for Christmas, but had to leave it with family in Riley, Kan., because we couldn’t haul it home. Well, last weekend the family brought it down and son-in-law, ol Poe Laris, poured the concrete and set the pole.

Our new flag sure does look nice nice fluttering in our front yard. It shows that I have new hope for our great nation.

***

I read a news item that diet soda might be a cause of early dementia. After telling the extension cord story above, readers might surmise that I drink a lot of diet sodas. Truth is, I hardly EVER put a sip of soda of any kind down my throat. Just never liked the stuff. So, my mental decline must be caused by others of my favorite beverages — maybe too much iced tea.

Gotta shut my old mental machine down for the week. Keep safe and have a good ‘un.

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