“THERE’S A VINTAGE WHICH BECOMES
WIT, AGE, AND EXPERIENCE.”
Jon Bon Jovi
Well I had another birthday come and go. I took the opportunity to head off the question of “how does being 64 feel?” It is kind of a rhetorical question people ask when the subject of age comes up.
I did get a comment about attitude on age. Which just shows how the point was missed. In my mind I am 30, in age 64, in body 94. Yet I still answer the question to the fact that ‘Getting old is mandatory but growing up is optional.’ Plus I don’t know what I am going to do if I grow up.
Going through the years of so called adulthood I had had more experience and seen more things than most see in a lifetime. Being the youngest on the fire department as well as an early EMT, a person is exposed to many things that most will not, hopefully, deal with.
And there are so many more who witnessed things that no human is supposed to see or deal with. Those who serve in the military have to deal with so much is is a wonder that so many survive to old age.
Today there are people who can counsel the fire and EMS who have to deal with tragic situations. In the past it was deal with it or quit. But quitting does not do away with the results.
I do not forget all of the things that I have done in my life and how great it has been. I have done things and seen more than many. The friends that I have made over the years has been fabulous. But I miss all of the friends that I have lost.
I had a resume made one time. The lady commented that “you have had quite an interesting and diversified life.” My answer was that “this can be viewed two ways. Either I had quite a lot of experience or I could not hold down a job.”
My physical problems are so diverse that to explain them all sounds like whining. Dealing with all of them is nerve racking. But turning one year older, as I expressed, was that I felt the same from age 63 one day more at age 64.
Many call me a pup, which I am. I have a puppy who is 13 years old and she does not run and jump on things anymore. That does not mean she does not consider herself to be a pup.
The frustration is the fact that I cannot do most of the things I love anymore. All I can do is sit and write. Which pays virtually zero. (that is why it is called Free-Lance writing)
I am about to delete from my computer all of the business and other projects that I wanted to create and be a part of. It is a sad reminder of all the things I wanted to do and did not have the money, support, or talent to accomplish. I doubt that there will be any future biographer who would want to write the story of my life.
To offset what sounds like a defeated attitude is not the point of this rant. There are so many projects that I want to do in the future that it can be depressing to realize that there is not the time.
I am reminded of the limit of this life on a regular basis. I have lost so many friends lately as well as members of the community that it is not easy to keep a bright cheery outlook.
Besides it has taken a long time to cultivate this curmudgeon persona. I earned it, worked on it, and I am going to hang on to it. They did make two movies about grumpy old men.