By Dawn Phelps
The line outside the funeral home was long on Thursday evening, May 8, as many of us waited our turn to meet with the family of Rex Blackwood at respect calls. Rex, age 90, a longtime member of the Miltonvale community died on May 4 to the surprise of many of us.
The line stretched from the front of the funeral home, through the building, outside to the sidewalk, where the line curved northward. People quietly visited as they waited for their turn to finally make it to the front of the building to express their condolences.
Rex left this life on May 4 about two days after playing his last game of cards and winning! That evening as my husband Tom and I finally made it to the front of the building to talk briefly to the family, one of Rex’s sons said, “He left on his terms,” probably referring to Rex exiting this life quickly without a lingering illness.
Looking back, I believe my husband Tom and I were blessed with a special memory of Rex. Only a few days before Rex left us, Tom and I had talked to Rex and his wife Mary Kaye. During that conversation, I told him how much I appreciated his kindness to me many years ago after my first husband died.
You see, after my husband’s long battle with cancer, our finances were a bit on the short side. And when a deluge of sympathy cards came in after the funeral, there was a ten-dollar bill from someone named Rex Blackwood who I had never met before, even though my husband Ralph may have known him; I will never know.
I still have the card. I asked someone who Rex was, and I did not officially meet him until later. But that card touched my heart, and I tucked the thought away that whoever he was, he must have been a kind man.
Back to our recent meeting with Rex and Mary Kaye. When I mentioned his kindness to him that evening, he deflected the situation to Mary Kaye and said, “She’s the kind one!” which I believe is true—I had heard the same thing about her. It was obvious he did not feel the need to be praised.
I told them they have a kind daughter named Michelle and that she had learned kindness from someone. And I believe all three of them truly care about people, not the acknowledgment.
Friends have told me stories of Rex visiting people in nursing homes without drawing attention to himself. Someone told me about Rex taking a shake to a nursing home to encourage a person to eat. He was thoughtful and caring.
I took a brief look at the condolences left on the funeral home website. And here are a few of the words/phrases/sentences that others used to describe Rex.
“quiet demeanor,” “a special man,” “a good man”—the word good was used several times
“great man”—great man occurred several times.
“Mr. Blackwood and his family were the kindest, most welcoming Miltonvale residents.”
“full of fun,” “lots of fun,” “lots of friends,” “enjoyed life.”
One said, “Great man, go have some coffee and shoot the bull with my dad and all the other Miltonvale crew in Glory land.”
“It’s hard to imagine how many people’s lives he touched.”
I am convinced that Rex lived his life well and enjoyed his journey here on earth. He did many good deeds—doing good is good for the receiver and the giver!
I am sad he is gone—he made this world a brighter place. And more than likely he is catching up with his many friends in “Glory land” now. Rex won—he is a winner in the race of life. He finished in style at age 90, leaving many good memories behind!
He was “kind,” and his kindness made me feel humbled and grateful for a stranger with a generous heart. Many of us will never forget how his kindness made us feel.
Rex reminds me of a favorite quote by poet/writer Maya Angelou.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
On Memorial Day, we will remember him.
