A major seed company wuz having its annual meeting. The company geneticists had their own specialized session. The production folks also had their own specialized session. And, the sales group likewise had s specialized session.
The company’s national sales manager wuz leading that group. He started by saying national seed sales had hit a new record, both in bushels and dollars. He then went through the quarterly and annual sales report. He listed total sales by district.
The final thing on his agenda wuz to award prizes to the best salespersons in the company. He stressed how highly the company valued its sales persons and how it took great efforts to value each one in a personalized, individualized, sensitive manner.
Finally, as he reached the point in the program to dole out the sales awards, the sales manager sadly told the group that the company has recently lost its longest tenured salesman.
Someone in the group asked the sales manager, “What did he have?”
The sales manager said, “Eastern Kansas, western Missouri, southwest Iowa, and southeast Nebraska.”
***
A young ranch hand wuz to get married the next Saturday. But all week, working in high humidity riding fence, repairing fence, repairing water gaps, and working newly-arrived cattle, he developed a heck of a saddle sore and its attendant rash.
So, one evening after he finally quit working, he drove to town to see what he might purchase to relieve his irritation before the big weekend. He stopped at a pharmacy and, a bit embarrassed, described his condition and asked the lady pharmacist if she could recommend some powder or salve to give him some relief and healing.
The lady pharmacist immediately said, “I think I have just the product you’re looking for,” and she headed down the aisle. “Walk this way,” she told the ranch hand.
He noticed as she walked ahead of her that she wuz very bowlegged. So, he replied, “I’ve been walking that way all week, ma’am. That’s why I need some powder or salve.”
***
A farmer with a teenage son and a teenage daughter wuz running himself ragged trying to provide for them and keep up with all their wants and needs. As a consequence, he found himself working so much that he had very little personal time with them.
That’s why one evening, the pair teamed up on his and complained about their lack of personal time with him.
That’s when he sat them down and matter-of-factly explained, ” If you wish to continue to live in the comfortable, care-free manner to which you’ve become accustomed, then you won’t complain about the hours I work to support you.”
That wuz the last complaint he heard from them.
***
Last week, I name-dropped on famous or semi-famous folks that I’d personally encountered during my life.
Well, I forgot one of the most famous and it wuzn’t a person at all. Here’s the deal:
It wuz Three Bars, one of first and most famous Thoroughbred sires to breed to Quarter Horse mares and produce racing Quarter Horses. You might say he broke an “equine racist barrier.”
I wuz privileged to see him at Walter Merrick’s 101 Ranch in Sayre, Okla. I wuz doing a freelance cover story on Mr. Merrick for the Oklahoma Farmer-Stockman. I got to see the AQHA Hall of Fame sire breed one of the last mares he covered. He wuz 28 years old, and arthritic, but he still had fire in his eyes and got his job done.
Three Bars was the sire of 29 AQHA Champions, 4 AQHA Supreme Champions, 317 Racing Register of Merit earners, and his foals earned more than $3 million on the racetrack.
Among his famous offspring were Mr. Bar None, Gay Bar King, Sugar Bars, Lightning Bar, Tonto Bars Gill, St. Bar, Steel Bars, and Bar Money. Others include Triple Chick, Alamitos Bar, Bar Depth, Royal Bar, Josie’s Bar, and Galobar. His grandson Doc Bart became one of the most influential sires of cutting horses.
Three Bars had a blind mare companion during his last years. They had adjoining stalls and stood neck to neck for most of their days.
***
I ain’t talked much about my garden or my new shop that’s still not completed. The garden has so far escaped any major weather damage. The radishes, lettuce, and spinach have flourished. The tomatoes, potatoes, and sweet corn are knee high and growing fast. I’m harvesting about a half-pint of peas daily. We’re eating onions, too. The green beans are about to start blooming.
I’m using the shop, but it’s not finished. Still need a little work on the outside, but we’ve barely gotten started on the inside — except about all the materials are on site and ready to use.
I finally got music in the shop, so it’s one-step closer to a man-cave.
***
All of us old geezers at our daily gabfest and gossip group are retired. We talk about every subject under the sun and about the events and people in our lives.
It’s commonplace that when one of us gets up to leave the gabfest to go home he tells the group, “Okay, you can start talking about me now.”
Recently, one of our group turned the tables on us. He told us, “I’ve decided it’s a good thing when you all talk about me. That means you’re leaving everyone else alone!”
***
One morning this week, I told the group, “I’d better head home to do some morning work now, before I get so tired not doing any work that I won’t have the energy for afternoon work.”
“Huh?” they replied.
My comment is close enuf to words wisdom that it’ll have to suffice for this week.
Have a good ‘un.
