Two past-middle-age Kansas rancher brothers where traveling to the high country in Colorado to bring home a purebred bull they’d bought via an internet auction.
They were traveling through one small Rocky Mountains town after another, and they were getting road weary, when they spotted a sign on The Old-Timers Bar and Grill advertising “All Drinks, Quarter Each.”
They looked at each other and agreed that they should check into a motel close by and then go check out the bar’s advertising and wet their whistle.
So, after securing their rooms for the night, through the front door of the bar they go and plop down on two bar stools.
The friendly old bartender booms out in a voice that carries across the room, “Welcome, fellas, let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, gentlemen?”
There was a fully-stocked bar in front of them, so each of the ranchers orders a high-quality bourbon and water. Pronto, the bartender serves up their drinks and as they take their first sip, he says, “That’ll be 25-cents each, gents.”
The ranchers stare dumbfounded at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 50-cents, finish their drinks, and order another identical round.
Again, two excellent bourbon and branch are produced, with the bartender again saying, “That’s 50-cents, please.”
The ranchers pay the 50-cents, but then their curiosity gets the better of them. They’ve drank four fine bourbon drinks and spent a grand total of one dollar. Finally one of them says to the barkeep, “How can you afford to serve drinks as good as these for a quarter apiece?”
“I’m a retired military man ,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar in retirement. Last year I hit the lottery jackpot big time for $200 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a quarter — wine, liquor, beer — it’s all the same”
“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the ranchers says. “And, your generosity is amazing.”
As they continue to savor their drinks at the bar, they can’t help noticing four other down-in-the-mouth old country-looking folks at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there.
Nodding at the four at the end of the bar, one of the ranchers asks the bartender, “What’s with those guys? Why aren’t they drinking?”
The bartender chuckles and answers, “Oh, those guys. They’re Scottish sheep ranchers who recently bought their flocks down from the high pastures. They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.”
***
I see the USDA has released its new food pyramid. As expected, it’s caused a ruckus in the media because it recommends eating more red meat protein, more full-fat cheeses, and more butter. That sounds like the diet I’ve been eating all my life, so I’m in full agreement with the new food pyramid.
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Nevah and I had to make a day trip to Topeka last week. On our return, we drove highway 24 back to Riley. It wuz raining all the way, and we were amazed at the stupendous flocks of snow geese blanketing hundreds of acres of stubble fields and wheat fields. I’m talking at least hundreds of thousands of geese. First, I thought how much damage those flocks could cause to wheat fields. But, then I thought of the thousands of pounds of goose manure fertilizer they were delivering for free to those stubble fields. It was either a loss or a gain depending on whose fields they fed on and whose they rested on.
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Speaking of birds, our daughter and son-in-law in Riley recent got a new back yard bird feeder. It’s got new-age features. One, it’s got a camera that takes a feather-perfect picture of each bird that eats from it. They can see the birds on their smart phones. Two, for a few bucks a month, the camera will also perfectly identify every visiting bird. Pretty neat!
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Sticking with the wildlife subject, last week one of the old geezers in our group had a full-grown cougar cross his farm not far from his home. That is both neat and a bit scary at the same time. More and more cougars are appearing in Kansas these days.
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I want to make a correction to an error I inadvertently wrote in my column two weeks ago. I reported that ocean-going tankers and cargo ships burned 70 to 400 tons of high polluting tar-like fuel per hour. That was incorrect. They actually burn that amount of the fuel in a DAY. Sorry about that error. I had a senior moment. Still a lot of pollution.
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We’ve had extreme yo-yo weather recently in Riley. The temps go up into the 60s and drop down below freezing. It snowed an inch one night and melted the next day. Then it rained and the wind blew a gale. That’s Kansas winter weather for you.
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Words of wisdom for the week: “Make some decisions not because they’ll make the most dollars, but because they make the most sense.” Have a good ‘un.
