A couple of weeks ago, Nevah and I went on an excursion to Council Grove, Kan. For a change of pace, we decided to return home on less-traveled roads. So, we went northwest to White City and then north through the little town of Skiddy. We chuckled at that town’s unusual name.
That got me to thinking about other rural towns that have humorous, weird, or just plain funny-sounding names. Then I thought that it would be column material to search for more unusual town names in the states where most of my column readers live — Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Colorado, Nebraska, and Wyoming.
So, I went to my trusted internet search engine — DuckDuckGo — to find such towns. The towns listed below are the ones I chose to feature. After some of them, I’ve made a wry comment.
It would be really insightful to know the full story behind the people and circumstances that resulted in these town names. For me, it’s fun to guess.
So here are the towns in Kansas: Admire (those folks have pride), Americus (patriotic folks), Athol, Bird City (no other animals?), Coats (always warm in winter), Iuka, Gem (what kind?), Havana (we’re not in Cuba), Moscow (we’re not in Russia), Netawaka, Ozawkie, Peru (we’re not in South America), Severance (got fired no pay), Nickodemus, Protection (safety first), Buttermilk (puckered up folks), Smileyberg (always happy).
Gas (roll your windows down when passing through), Skidmore (slick roads), Holyrood (what kind of rood is holy?), Neutral (non-opinionated folks), Liberal (generous folks), Agenda (town has many things to do), May Day (send help), Niotaze, Climax (always a good ending), Xenia (go ahead, spell with a Z like it’ s pronounced), Stark (stands out from all other), Dry Wood (lots of fireplaces), Speed (might get a ticket), Hasty (slow down already), Good Intent (that’s admirable), Ransom (how much you demanding?), Deerhead (good place to be taxidermist), Red Onion (discrimination against white onions), Swamp Angel (thought angels lived in heaven).
Here are the Missouri Towns: Goodnight (and sleep tight), Halfway (to where?), Misery (lots of unhappy folks), Hale (and hearty, too), Fidelity (low divorce rate), Sleeper (slow going in mornings), Current View (how about the past view?), Grubville (plenty of food), Easyville (life in the slow lane). Hollywood (take that, California), Competition (striving to get ahead), Fertile (good birth rate), Frankenstein (keep an eye out for monsters), Toad Hollow (no frogs?), Knob Lick (salt for deer), Blue Eye (are brown eyes banned?), Rocky Comfort (doesn’t sound comfy), Tightwad (home to penny-pinchers), Baldknob (men with no hair heaven), Cooter (old coots welcome), Devil’s Elbow (how about his wrist), Bois D’Arc (hope folks are tough as the tree); Kissee Mills (how about hugs, too?), Conception Junction (another with high birth rate), Bourbon (is scotch legal?), Cuba (not in the Carribean), Mexico (not south of the border), Braggadoccio (no need to brag so loudly), Herculaneum (strong folks live here), Fair Play (everyone has a chance), Clever (always plotting to get ahead).
Here are the Oklahoma towns: 1. Monkey Island (but no zoo?), Bluejacket (did the FFA start there?), Bowlegs (old cowboy town), Bugtussle (why fight bugs?), Why Not (answer the question), Coweta , Slick (use mud tires here), Bigheart (got troubles? come here), Broken Bow (well, fix it), Talala (tongue twister), Stonewall (not welcome here), Mustang (need a wild horse?), Boley, Redbird (bluebirds not welcome?, Redbird Flat (what if they like hills?), Slaughterville (we’ll butcher your critters); Ketchum (with a net?), Oologah (another tongue twister), Tishamingo, Frogville (froglegs anyone?), Cookietown (want an cookie), Non (is still something), Forty-One (why stop there?), Slapout (we will keep you in line), Gene Autry (cowboys must sing, too), Okay (never any arguments), Hooker (hope it refers to fishing), Lone Wolf (do it yourself), Cement (a hard-case town).
Here are the Arkansas towns: Goobertown (we eat peanuts), Toad Suck (way too weird), Nail (bad place to sell screws), Smackover (smackin’ good eatin’), Flippin (we make hamburgers), Booger Hollow (nose pickers in a valley); Romance, (where to find a mate), Accident (or on purpose), Frog Town (bull frogs or peepers?), Fifty-six (why not seven?, Possum Grape (no persimmons for possums?), Stinking Bay (get some deodorant), Little Rock (get a bigger oner), Hope (optimistic folks), Nimrod (lots of firearms here), Paris (no Eiffle Tower), War Eagle (fighting birds), Weiner (hotdogs galore), Evening Shade (what about hot mornings?).
Snowball (all year around?), Ben Hur, (a famous movie site?), Bull Shoals (the cows feel left out). Oil Trough (don’t drink here), Greasy Corner (bring your antiacid), Gassville (feeling bloated?), Ash Flat (woodburners only), Bee Branch (no branch for butterflies?), Bird Eye (hope it’s an eagle’s eye), Dequeen (What about deKing?), Dog Patch (comic strip name), Gum Springs (sticky place to drink), Little Flock (can only own a few sheep), Quitman (do the women quit, too?), Round Pound (we tenderize tough steaks), Tomato (bring your lettuce and bacon), Whistleville (sports referees welcome).
Here are the Colorado towns: Loveland (honeymoon here), Parachute (smoke jumpers welcome), Spook City, (Halloween is big here), Wondervu (worth a good look); Wideawake (bring your NoDoze), Old Roach (hope it’s close to death), Stoner, (pothead nirvana); Fairplay (everyone’s equal), Dinosaur (for really old folks), Rifle (high power or BB?), Troublesome, (a contentious place), Hygiene (disease free), No Name (yes, you do), Last Chance (better grab at it then), Buckskin Joe (what about Jack?), Yellow Jacket (you can get stung here), Pea Green Corner (better than pee green).
Here are the Nebraska Towns: Funk (easy to get depressed), Magnet (an attractive place), Nenzel, Wynot (because I don’t feel like it), Ayr (named after a dairy cow?), Beaver City (no muskrats?), Dix (I guess x is easier than cks), Minatare (is twin city Maxitare?), Ong (OMG, what a name), Ord (shorter than ordinary), Surprise (spur of the moment parties), Trumbull (might make the president unhappy), Wellfleet (we’re healthy and fast, too).
Here’s the Wyoming towns: Ten Sleep (what if we have 11?), Chugwater (beer is better), Jay Em (what happened to K and L?), Crowheart (same as a black heart?), West Thumb (no east side of town?), Medicine Bow (sounds like painful treatment), Recluse (we stick to ourselves), Meeteetse (too many e’s), Story (we’ll tell you about us).
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Words of wisdom for the week: “You needn’t worry about getting older. You’ll still do dumb stuff — only slower and more often. Have a good ‘un.
