Jenny Long
Columnist
Every four years, the world watches elite athletes compete in feats of strength, speed, and skill. But at our house? The Aussie Olympics happen every day, and the competition is fierce.
Welcome to our backyard stadium, where four toy Australian Shepherds turn the ordinary into the extraordinary with their events: Herding, Fetching, Speed Sprinting, and Emotional Manipulation (yes, that’s a category here).
Let’s meet the contestants:
Brutus – The Anxious Athlete
Don’t let the worried eyes fool you—Brutus is all heart. He’s the silent professional of the group, with lightning-fast pivots and laser focus. In the Herding Challenge, Brutus dominates. Whether it’s gathering the other dogs or nudging a misplaced shoe into its proper spot, he does it with loyalty and precision. Sure, he is startled if the wind changes direction, but give him a task and he’s on it faster than you can say “good boy.”
Lucy – The Diva With a Mission
Lucy may have a bad knee and the speed of a nap, but she brings drama and determination to the games. With her dazzling blue eyes and head-high trot, she wins gold in Emotional Manipulation without breaking a sweat. Herding? She does it in her own time. You’d never guess she’s got a limp when there’s something that needs organizing—or when Brutus needs backup. Grace, style, and a touch of sass—she’s the Simone Biles of side-eyes.
Scout – The Stealth Sprinter
Quiet and mysterious, Scout avoids the spotlight but stuns the crowd in Speed Sprinting. He doesn’t fetch, doesn’t mingle—but if a squirrel so much as breathes in the next yard, Scout is gone before the rest even notice. He’s like the track star who doesn’t show up to opening ceremonies, then smashes a record and vanishes again. We still don’t know where he goes during the awards ceremonies.
Luna – The Social Butterfly
Luna is… enthusiastic. She listens selectively, thrives in chaos, and has never met a person she didn’t love instantly. She brings home the gold in Fetching (With Flare) and wins the unofficial Wiggle Butt Triathlon. Ask her to sit? For Sure. Ask her to fetch? Absolutely yes, ten times in a row, with a victory lap after each return. She’s the people’s champion, even if the judges occasionally raise an eyebrow.
Final Medal Count:
Brutus: Gold in Herding
Lucy: Gold in Emotional Manipulation
Scout: Gold in Speed Sprinting
Luna: Gold in Fetch & Social Engagement
Me? I won silver… in Keeping Up.
In the end, there’s no podium tall enough for the joy these four bring every day. The Aussie Olympics might not air on primetime TV, but they sure keep our hearts racing—and our backyard very, very busy.
Brutus:
“Always watching, always ready—Brutus takes Herding gold with heart and hustle.”
Lucy:
“With her piercing blue eyes and royal strut, Lucy proves that divas herd, too.”
Scout:
“Gone in a flash! Scout claims Speed Sprinting gold—and probably a squirrel.”
Luna:
“Fetch queen, social butterfly, and chaos enthusiast—Luna lives for gold and belly rubs.”
All Four Together:
“The Aussie Dream Team—no medals needed, just treats, toys, and a yard to run.”
