I bet you can’t guess what creature is the most dangerous in the world?
I thought it was wolves but it’s flies. That’s because they carry and spread more diseases than any other animal or insect in the world. Which begs the question… why didn’t Noah grab his big old fly swatter and kill both flies on the Ark when he had the chance?
I was reading about the flies that spread New World screwworm when I came up with an idea that could solve another deadly immigration problem that is spreading mayhem and murder throughout the west. Only this one is coming across our southern AND northern border. I am, of course, referring to wolves. I think we can use the same plan once used to eliminate screwworms from our country and use it to solve our wolf problem.
It seems we tried everything to get rid of the screwworm fly that was driving southern ranchers crazy prior to the 1960’s when some brainy scientist came up with the idea to release hundreds of millions of sterile male screwworm flies to mate with female screwworm flies. The only reason the plan worked to perfection is because monastic female screwworm flies only mate one time and if it’s with a sterile male fly instead of one shooting real bullets, no offspring result. So in one generation the flies are almost gone! The U.S. government spent millions of dollars building facilities to produce the sterile male flies just as they are doing now in an effort to stop the onward march north to America.
The northern movement of the fly is really no different than those big marches of illegal immigrant trains of people, many of them from central and South America, that came in under the Biden administration, only the screwworm flies can fly right through and over Trump’s border wall.
But what if we could use the same game plan with the wolves being imported from Canada and Mexico and turned loose to wreak havoc on the west? What I am proposing is the government should spend billions of dollars building three facilities, one each in Los Angeles, Chicago and New York that would produce millions of sterile male wolves to be turned loose all over the country to mate with the immigrant wolves that are presently murdering sheep, cattle and wildlife indiscriminately. We’re going to need a lot of sterile male wolves because the promiscuous hussies obviously breed more than one time in their lives.
I know what you’re thinking. Wouldn’t these sterile wolves still kill our cattle and sheep too? Under normal circumstances of course they would. Now here’s where I share with you the brilliance of my plan. Using gene editing and genetic modification we snip a few chromosomes from an old California hippie and put them into the genetic code of the wolves thus producing VEGETARIAN sterile male wolves. This would make it possible for American citizens to actually see and come in contact with the wolves they say they love so much, something that doesn’t happen now. Their only contact with their much beloved lobos now days is watching an animated Disney movie. And because they’d be vegetarians the ranchers wouldn’t have to worry about some wolf watching their kids and pets and counting calories, or about putting their children in cages at the bus stop for their safety. (Shouldn’t it be the other way around?)
We’d have to breed a lot of male sterile vegetarian wolves to overwhelm the intact male wolves and that’s why I think we should also clip and paste a few more chromosomes to make the sterile male wolves much bigger and more muscular so the female wolves would want to breed with them instead of the current crop of serial killers. Over time I believe this would eventually put an end to livestock depredation incidents and urban Americans wouldn’t have to worry about the wolves eating poor Poopsie Whoopsie or Cuddly Wuddly.
And here’s how sneaky smart I am. The first time an urban American sees some big old vegetarian wolf eating her award-winning roses or heirloom tomatoes he or she is going to demand that we send every wolf in America back to where they came from… Canada, Mexico or that place where the Devil dwells.
