Amanda Miller
Columnist
Lettuce Eat Local

“Wait! Now you’re a potato!” 

Our three-year-old’s imagination is blossoming these days. Not only do his little plastic animals have all sorts of conversations and adventures, but often he also becomes an animal himself — or in this case, a vegetable. His other favorite thing is running, so as per usual, this game included that as well. 

Although the actual rules are sketchy, the concept isn’t hard to grasp: someone is an onion, and since those make us cry, the other person has to run away. At some point, the player in charge (aka Benson) turns you into a potato and lies down. I thought it should be on the couch, both for comfort and couch-potato-ness, but actual location varied. 

I’m not sure what inspired the potato portion; maybe he’s starting to grow into his Midwestern heritage already. To me, a pairing of potatoes and imagination seems simultaneously paradoxical and pertinent. 

On one hand, is there anything more boring than a potato? It’s just some bland starch inside a tough jacket. Often potatoes are prepared simply, sometimes even only with salt; creamy and/or cheesy components are frequently added, and that’s nice, but if passing is polite, I’ll probably be doing that. 

On the other hand, is there anything more versatile than a potato? Its lack of overwhelming flavor means it goes with anything and any cuisine. In fact, if my sources are correct, they are grown in every country on every continent except Antarctica. I was quite surprised to learn that China actually leads world production of potatoes, although less surprised to read that Germans annually on average eat between 100-150 pounds of potatoes per person. According to National Geographic, 15 out of the over 50,000 edible plants in the world provide 90% of global energy intake — and of course potatoes are one of those. 

Taters’ unique starchiness lends itself to being mashed, roasted, boiled, fried, stewed, any and all the things. While I typically see dishes that are only potatoes + salt as a disappointment…I should also recognize that apparently they are intrinsically good enough to be eaten as simply themselves, not needing any elaboration. 

Even my very own husband has been known to order a baked potato in a restaurant. I think it’s the silliest thing, especially with how rarely we eat out, since we can eat those at home any day for approximately 47 cents. But for him, it’s hard to be a meat-and-potatoes man without potatoes. 

I should also clarify, I do like gold and red potatoes much better than russets, although I’m guessing russet potatoes are what you’ve been envisioning during this conversation. Yet even russets have their place. I’m rarely enthused personally to have them on the menu, but I appreciate making them for their versatility, economy, and crowd-friendliness. 

They’re easy to make ahead of time or to pull together quickly, easy to make for picky eaters and those navigating allergies, easy to make into a meal with other pantry staples and for any meal of the day. If I look back over the past few weeks, we’ve actually been having them quite a lot — even today for family lunch. 

I better be careful, or Benson’s gam might come true and we all turn into potatoes. 

Baked Eggy Potato Boats

This is an ideal recipe for those of us who are on the fence about potatoes, because while they are the base, we can craft our personal potato boat to match our flavor needs. It’s a fun brunch-y take on a baked potato bar, but works for any meal of the day. Notice most of the ingredients say “etc” because it’s incredibly versatile…just like potatoes are. 

Prep tips: A grapefruit spoon works great for scooping out the middles. If you have time, it’s fun for everyone to crowd around and make their own, but if you’re running short on time, just make some basic ones and people can still customize at the table. 

4 large russet potatoes

olive oil or butter

salt, pepper, chili powder, creole seasoning, curry powder, etc.

6-8 eggs

½ pound cooked meat: sausage, bacon, ham, pulled pork, etc.

4 ounces cheese, shredded

diced veggies: bell peppers, green onions, mushrooms, etc.

extras: sour cream, avocado, ranch, hot sauce, salsa, etc.

Bake the potatoes: use your regular method; or fork holes in the potato, rub with olive oil, and sprinkle with coarse salt. Place on a wire cooling rack set inside a cookie sheet. Bake at 425° for 45-60 minutes, until tender. Once cool enough to handle, cut potatoes in half lengthwise. Scoop out the middles — saving the scraps for another use — making enough room for the egg but leaving enough edge to keep it sturdy. Drizzle a little olive oil or put a pat of butter into the hollowed out centers, and sprinkle with seasonings. Either crack an egg into each, or scramble the eggs and pour some into each potato. Top with sausage, cheese, and veggies.

Bake at 375° for 10-15 minutes, until egg is firmed to your liking. Finish with the extras as you serve.

This is a diary of Monday, February 26, 2024.

3:50 a.m. My alarm goes off. I get up, unlock the door, and wait for Dustin, daughter Loretta, and their two boys to arrive. After getting them settled down for a nap, Dustin leaves for work at the RV factory. Son Joseph gets up too, as he’s leaving earlier today to do concrete work. 

Joseph and I pack his lunch. I make him a breakfast sandwich: grilled cheese with an egg and sausage patty in it. 

4:30 a.m. Joseph leaves, and my husband Joe gets up. He refuels the coal stove in the basement while I make his breakfast and pack his lunch. Nineteen-month-old Denzel isn’t quite asleep and hears that Grandpa Joe is up. He stands in his crib, begging Joe to come get him. Of course Grandpa can’t say no to his little sweetie. So Denzel sits beside Joe, helping him eat his breakfast. 

5:15 a.m. Joe leaves for work, which doesn’t make Denzel too happy. He cries and wants to leave with him, but I hold him awhile and put him back in his crib, and he falls back to sleep. I take a nap on my recliner while all is quiet. 

7:45 a.m. Denzel wakes up, and so I get up too. Those extra two hours of sleep feel good to me. I make Denzel breakfast, as he’s not as patient to wait until everyone else is ready. 

Son Benjamin’s work was cancelled for today, so he goes out to do the morning chores and refuel the coal stove in the pole building. First, though, he teases Denzel and holds six-month-old Byron for a while. Byron is always full of smiles. 

8:30 a.m. Everyone is ready for breakfast, which is easy this morning… grilled cheese, eggs, and cereal.

It’s such a nice February day with temperatures much warmer than usual. I want to hang all the laundry out to dry, and everyone helps gather the clothes. We have a cold air return vent to the basement that we use as our laundry chute. Denzel loves to help throw the clothes down there. We just have to make sure the vent is back in or else toys and anything else that fits gets thrown down there as well. Haha! He’s a little active boy!

1 p.m. Laundry is drying on the lines. 

Daughter Susan comes to bring daughter Verena to their house. Verena will stay with Ervin and Susan’s five oldest children while they go to the hospital to see Ervin’s dad Perry. Perry, age 55, had a seizure Sunday morning (which he has never had before) and has not been responding since. He’s in the ICU and was transferred to a bigger hospital. Doctors are doing all kinds of tests to see what is going on. Please keep Perry, his wife Esther, and the family in your prayers.

Ervin and Susan are preparing to host church services in two and a half weeks, so they have a lot going on right now. I want to go help again this week. 

2 p.m. Dustin, Loretta, and the boys leave. Son Benjamin goes to get some gas and a prescription for son Joseph, who has poison ivy and needs a stronger cream for it. Benjamin then leaves to help his friend with some work. 

3:15 p.m. Joe is home from work. The laundry is dry, and we’re folding it. Verena will stay the night at Ervin’s, then go from there to daughter Elizabeth and Tim’s and babysit for their children on Tuesday night. Not sure if she’ll stay until Wednesday or not. 

4 p.m. Joseph is home from work. He is working on the new pole barn. We had help last week for several nights and then on Saturday again. The roof is on and so is the metal on the sides. Windows are in, along with the framing for the overhead doors, and more. We appreciate all the help! 

On Thursday evening, our whole family was here helping. Sisters Emma and Verena; nephew Benjamin, his wife Crystal, and son Isaiah; and nephews Jacob and Steven also came along. They were all here for supper. I made cheesy ranch potatoes and meatballs. The menu also included lettuce salad, cheese, chips, chocolate chip bars, and ice cream. Sister Verena stayed here for the night. 

6:30 p.m. Chores are done, and supper’s ready. We are having leftovers of creamed potatoes, fried chicken, and meatballs. 

8 p.m. Everyone is done for the day. Once again, we thank God for another day. We have so much to be thankful for. May God bless each of you! Good night!

Butter Tarts

Pastry Dough:

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup lard (or 1 1/4 cups butter) 

1 large egg

1/3 cup cold water

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

Filling:

4 large eggs

1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

2 cups dark corn syrup

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 teaspoon white vinegar

10 tablespoons butter, softened

2 cups raisins, walnuts, or coconut (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a standard muffin pan. 

To make the dough: In a large bowl, combine the flour and salt. Stir to blend. Add the lard and rub it into the flour with your fingertips until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add the egg, water, and vinegar and stir with a fork until the dry ingredients are moistened. Form the dough into a ball and divide that into 3 balls. Form each ball into a disk and roll out on a floured surface to a 1/8-inch thickness. Use a glass or 4-inch cookie cutter to cut out rounds and place them into the muffin tin. Cut off any excess overhang.

To make the filling: In a large bowl, combine the eggs, brown sugar, corn syrup, vanilla, vinegar, and butter until the mixture is creamy and thoroughly mixed. 

Spoon the optional ingredients into the bottom of the unfilled crusts. Pour the filling mixture into the pastry crusts until three-quarters full. Bake for 15–20 minutes or until crust is golden brown and filling is firm. Makes 20 tarts. 

Lovina’s Amish Kitchen is written by Lovina Eicher, Old Order Amish writer, cook, wife, and mother of eight. Her two cookbooks, The Essential Amish Cookbook and Amish Family Recipes, are available wherever books are sold. Readers can write to Eicher at Lovina’s Amish Kitchen, PO Box 234, Sturgis, MI 49091 (please include a self-addressed stamped envelope for a reply); or email [email protected] and your message will be passed on to her to read. She does not personally respond to emails.