Saturday, January 10, 2026
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Laugh tracks in the dust

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Thayne Cozart
Milo Yield

Sometimes the opportunity presents itself for pulling off a practical joke that you just can’t afford to go by.

Such an opportunity presented itself to one of my young neighbors, ol’ Will Prank, who is the proud papa of four great kids. Plus, the kids are the proud owners of a friendly little Chihuahua house dog — Bernie.

As with most families with kids, one or more of the Prank youngsters occasionally host a sleepover for their friends. Well, not long ago during the evening meal that began the sleepover, all the family and friends were gathered around the dining table.

And, when the meal wuz finished, but before everyone wuz excused from the table, ol’ Will sat his dirty plate on the floor for Bernie to lick clean. After Bernie licked the plate clean, ol’ Will reached down, picked up the plate, scrutinized it carefully under the light, and said, “Good enuf, Bernie.” And with that inspection completed, Will got up and put the plate back in the kitchen cabinet.

As he left the table, Will sez the looks on the faces of all the children — guests and siblings alike — were priceless.

***

Last weekend, Nevah and I drove to Platte City, MO, to see our friends Canby and May Bea Handy. It wuz the first leg of a trip on to Ames, Iowa, where we overnighted with my ol’ sheep shearing buddy, Nick deHyde, and his wife Tanna.

On Saturday, we and the Handys attended the football game between my alma mater Bea Wilder U and Iowa State University. BWU squeaked out a win, which triggered a post-game party of recollections and storytelling at the deHydes that lasted until almost midnight.

Traveling through Iowa on two different routes, I’ll comment that, barring a weather-related catastrophe, Iowa will once again enjoy bumper corn and soybean crops. I wuz so used to the burnt-green/brown of the Flint Hills that I’d about forgotten how vibrantly green Iowa can be in late summer.

I will mention that the ISU football fans were generous and kind to us “foreigners” on their soil. We were invited into a tailgate party — both pre and post game — that featured a variety of sumptuous pork and beef and all the trimmings, plus all the liquid refreshments we could safely imbibe. It was a fun long weekend trip.

***

Thanks to Colorado friends for e-mailing me this “chicken” joke for a chicken farmer.

Mr. Dobbins was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The birds were ruinously scratching and pecking through his prize winning flower beds and bountiful garden.

The neighbor, who had recently moved to the country from the city, told Dobbins that the chickens had the right to go where they wanted since they lived in the wide open spaces.

A few weeks later, a friend visited Dobbins and noticed his flower beds and garden were doing great. The flowers were blooming and the garden was a veritable cornucopia!

The friend asked, “How did you get your neighbor to keep his hens in his own yard?”

Dobbins said, “Easy! One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed. The next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. Two minutes later he rushed off to the farm store to get fencing. I haven’t been bothered by his chickens since.”

***

A dairy farmer put a want ad in the paper for a new employee. In a matter of days, the farm had two applicants, with apparently equal qualifications.

The two would-be employees were both on hand to answer dairy-related questions on the employment application form — which they did in a quiet room with no interruptions by the dairy owner.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The owner went to one of the applicants and said, “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the other guy the job.”

The dismissed applicant went on a tirade when told that both the would-be employees had scored equally on the test.

The owner patiently explained, “We have made our decision, not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”

The dismissed man ranted, “Tell me, how would one incorrect answer be

better than another?”

The dairy owner replied, “Simple. On question number 7 your opponent wrote down ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I’.“

***

We’ve had quite a change to fall weather. Two days ago, the temperature wuz 95, with high humidity, and wind out of the southwest. Today, the temperature is 60, with a cool breeze from the northwest. Yep, fall’s a’comin’.

***

I’ll close for the week with wise words about interviews from TV’s William Shatner. He said, “I sometimes find that in interviews you learn more about yourself than the person learned about you.” Wisdom indeed! Have a good ‘un.

A simple twist on after school snacks

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snacks(Family Features) We all know it’s important to start the day off with a healthy breakfast. As a parent, you also have lunch covered for your hungry student, whether it’s packed in a brown bag or eaten in the cafeteria. But after a busy day of learning, young tummies often need a wholesome after-school snack to tide them over until dinner.

 

Keeping a stash of kid-friendly snacks handy is a sure-fire way to keep snack time manageable, while making sure kids don’t have a full afternoon meal, which would spoil their appetite for dinner.

 

Instead of potato chips or cookies, try crunchy veggies paired with a flavorful dip. As an added (and educational) bonus, invite kids to help make snacks ahead of time, assigning them age-appropriate tasks like measuring and mixing. This introduces them to family meal prep and helps teach them about healthy eating habits at an early age.

 

Kick off your new after-school snack routine with a recipe like this one for Ranch Pimento Cheese Celery Logs, created by country music star and busy mom of seven, Sara Evans, on behalf of Hidden Valley. For a little kick, Evans suggests substituting with Hidden Valley® Spicy Ranch Salad Dressing & Seasoning Mix. If your kids resist celery or you want a little variety, this spread also makes great finger sandwiches when layered between two slices of sandwich bread and cut into small triangles.

 

For more kid-friendly after-school snack ideas, visit www.HiddenValley.com.

 

 

Ranch Pimento Cheese Celery Logs

Makes: 30 filled celery logs

Prep Time: 15-20 minutes

 

8          ounces shredded cheddar cheese

1/2      cup mayonnaise

1          teaspoon Hidden Valley® Original Ranch Salad Dressing & Seasoning Mix

1          (4-ounce) jar pimentos, drained

30        (2-inch) celery logs, cut from about 1 bunch of celery

 

Place cheese, mayonnaise, seasoning mix and pimentos in bowl of food processor. Pulse a few times until well combined but still chunky, taking care not to over mix. Alternatively, you can mix by hand, but it won’t be quite as spreadable.

 

Divide cheese mixture among celery logs (about 2 teaspoons per log), mounding it into cavity.

 

Serve cold.

Source: Hidden Valley

Walking to town with Grandfather

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Sandra Pugh
Sandra Pugh

During breakfast one sunny spring morning, Grandmother informed both Grandfather and me that she was going to sew that morning and she didn’t want either of us under foot. That only meant one thing; she was going to sew my new Easter dress and she didn’t want me bothering her while she sewed.

Grandfather looked over at me and asked if I wanted to walk to town with him. OH BOY, WOULD I!! After we finished breakfast I ran into my bedroom and retrieved my black patent strap shoes. I went to Grandfather who was now sitting in his rocking chair and bolted onto his lap.

Resting on my lap as I sat there were my black patent shoes and I asked him if he would buckle them for me. He took them one at a time and buckled them snugly on my feet and then put me on the floor in front of him.  I twirled around and he said I looked just fine in my little dress and black patent shoes.

I crawled back onto his lap and asked if I could see his pocket watch. He slowly drew it out of the small pocket of his overalls.

As soon as it was out of the pocket I asked to hold it and after he opened it and wound it he laid it gently in my upturned hand. I immediately placed it up to my ear to listen to it tick for a few seconds.

The sound of that round gold watch always fascinated me. All to soon Grandfather took it back and snapped it shut and said, “If you are going to town with me you had better get down.”  I quickly jumped to the floor and ran to Grandmother and told her we were leaving.

We stepped out the front door at 9:15 and I heard the screen door slam behind us as we crossed the freshly mowed lawn to walk up the gravel driveway.

Grandfather always wore black leather shoes that laced above the ankle using hooks to hold the shoe lace as it was tightened up and tied with a bow. The soles on his shoes were heavy black leather and they made a very distinctive crunching sound when he walked on gravel. This sound is still engrained in my mind and when I hear it, it always brings back Grandfather’s presence.

Once on Stolp Street we walked east, past the Riggins house, then the Skinner mansion that intrigued me every time we walked by. They must have been very rich I thought to have a house that big and it looked like a fairy tale castle to me.

Just past the Skinner house we walked down the hill that was very steep to a 4 year old and once we were on flat ground again it was another 2 blocks to Main Street.

We crossed Main so we could walk down the side walk on the east side of the street. This was my favorite part of the walk to town because the houses sat above street level and the yards were raised so they were flat and had cement walls holding the yard up. The walls were 3-4 foot higher than the sidewalk and became an amusement park for me.

Grandfather would lift me up and place me on the retaining wall and I would walk along holding his hand. Even though I was somewhat afraid of the height, as long as he held my hand I was fearless.

When we had walked the three blocks to the downtown shopping area, the ground leveled off and I had to walk beside Grandfather on the sidewalk. As we walked down the sidewalk downtown the first thing we passed was the school playground and then the large red brick school building that sat on the next corner.

On the corner tucked back close to the school sat the statue that honors the signing of the Peace Treaty between the Plains Tribes and the United States. The statue is a soldier and a proud Indian shaking hands. It is beautiful white marble, and always fascinated me.

One more block down the street and we arrived at our destination. The Western Power and Light Company sat on the northeast corner of the intersection and it had a huge window that looked out onto the sidewalk and Main Street. Along the bottom of the window was a huge chunk of stone that formed a long ledge 6 inches wide.

When we arrived there were 5 men already propped on the ledge visiting and Grandfather quickly escorted me into Carper’s drug store that sat next door. He picked me up and sat me on one of the stools and laid a nickel on the counter. The soda jerk asked me what I wanted and I quickly told her a cherry 400. Grandfather told me to stay on the stool and behave myself and left me there to aggravate the soda jerk with my questions.

Grandfather walked back outside and sat down on the ledge with the other men so they could gossip about every one that walked by on the sidewalk. An hour later Grandfather came back into the drug store and retrieved me from my stool and we retraced our steps back to the little house on Stolp Street.

Thirty minutes later we arrived home. Grandfather went to the sewing machine where Grandmother was almost finished with my new Easter dress and told her that Lydia was pregnant. Grandmother told him Lydia was not pregnant. He just shook his head and turned away and told Grandmother again that she most definitely was pregnant.

I remember a conversation a few months later at the dinner table; Grandmother told Grandfather that Lydia was pregnant. Grandfather told her he knew that and he had told her about it after our trip to town 2 months ago. I wondered what pregnant was and why they were so excited about it.

Grandmother asked him how he knew Lydia was pregnant 2 months ago because she was only 3 months along then.  He said it was the way she walked. Even though I had no idea what pregnant was and why it made them walk funny, I could hardly wait until I could walk to town with Grandfather again to find out who was pregnant. To contact Sandy: [email protected]

Moonlight and Magnolias

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Great Plains Theatre
Great Plains Theatre
Great Plains Theatre

By: Ron Hutchinson

Featuring Andy Brown, Dennis May, Laurie Pascale and Kyle Morr

Directed by Michael Misko

 

Performance Location:

Abilene Civic Center

201 NW 2nd St.

Abilene, KS 67410

 

Performance Schedule:

Thursday, September 11 at 7:30

Friday, September 12 at 7:30

Saturday, September 13 at 7:30

Sunday, September 14 at 2:00

 

The year is 1939 and production has been shut down on the set of the film Gone With the Wind.  The screenplay for the film isn’t working, so legendary film producer David O. Selznick sends for director Victor Fleming and screenwriter Ben Hecht.

 

Together, locked in an office for five days, and on a diet of bananas and peanuts, the men hammer out what will become one of the most famous films of all time.

 

A very special thank you to T & M Stage Supplies, Inc. 

of Wichita, KS for the lighting equipment, stage platforms,

and other production materials!

 

This comedy is rated PG-13

Source: Great Plains Theatre

 

I remember the beauty of Autumn

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By Doris Schroeder

The earth of 2014 will soon be covered with the beautiful vivid colors of Autumn as the leaves turn into the most magnificent hues ever seen by man-kind and will drift down to cover the top of our land. Red, maroon, yellow, orange and gold among all shades of green leaves will dot the lawns and yards of Hutchinson as well as all the little towns surrounding it.

 

Our “fair city” will radiate and for a short span of time, we will feel the joy of living in God’s creation. The radiance of the sunshine will cast feelings of joy if we let it and we will experience His provision for us as we travel about in our daily lives.

 

The wild turkeys will come out even more along the old highway 61 between 43rd Ave. and Medora as they have already begun to do. We have observed the male turkey going ahead of his family and checking out the traffic to make sure it is safe.

At a signal from him the mother and the children dart across the road, safely to the other side. Another evidence of them being God created. It is also a reminder of how

He looks after us…if we let him.

 

It’s a lot like the people God has made to beautify the world…at least those who are following Him. My sister and I enjoyed the State Fair this week on the be-ginning of the cooler season. People were mostly happy to be at this yearly event and   it was a joy to smile and get a grin back. It was fun to watch the little ones in strollers, intently trying to take in life in general. If you smiled at them, they smiled back with the most innocent, radiant look, and for the moment, you feel life is wonderful. The innocence of a child is so fantastic to behold and you wish it could stay that way.

 

We started in the Pride of Kansas Bldg. and I showed Carol some of my painted gourds. We checked out a few of the booths and I saw the one that sold subscriptions to the Kansas Magazine, one of my favorite. I told the ladies of my experience two years ago when I had paid for a subscription with cash and had never received it. I had lost the receipt so didn’t call in. The lady in charge took my word for it and issued me another. It was nice to see some trust in this world of upside down happenings.

 

My sister and I used to go on a few somewhat daring rides. Being older, however, we decided to take the “sky ride” one time instead of something that spun around too much. After all, you just sit on it and can look about the grounds, it couldn’t be that bad.

 

When we had bought our ticket and walked up to the car, the attendant asked if we wanted it stopped to get on and we readily agreed. She was very helpful and got us on. Then we went higher and higher as the wind began to pick up and rocked our car just a little. There was no foot rest, we noticed and our legs just dangled down. Neither one of us said much as we looked out over the grounds. In the back of my mind, I was so thankful I had a God who looked after me, even when I was sometimes a little foolhardy.

 

When we came to the end of our ride, several of the attendants were waiting for us and they stopped the ride and helped us off. That in itself was such a blessing.

We both admitted to each other later, we were a “little bit” scared but we were glad we had not given in to our fear.

 

Going back to the car, parked way over in the B8 Parking Lot, we were able to catch the grounds tram and then the parking lot tram without any problem, another example of God’s care. It turned out to be a wonderful day. even though we were windblown and tired.

 

Isn’t that how He works out our lives? There is so much in this old world that has gone wrong, simply because God is left out. He wants to be there for us and yes, even take care of us in a wonderful way…giving us the Autumn beauty and weather to enjoy. He will not, however, force it on us, he wants us to decide that is what we want with all our heart.

 

It is then we can do what we “auto” do, enjoy the beautiful Autumn with all our being! It will give us something to hold onto when the storms are blowing our way!

 

Doris welcomes your comments and can be reached at [email protected].