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Caught Cheating

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lee pitts

I don’t know how to say this and I realize you’re gonna think less of me after you read it but you might as well hear it from me first because I’m sure the Internet will soon be burning up the wires with the startling news.

As you know, for the longest time my helpmate and I have been inseparable. I never once thought of looking over the fence or trading in my older model for a newer one but for the first time in our long relationship, I have been caught cheating. I crossed the line and I hate myself for it. We had something really special going on and I let my hormones ruin it all. I never dreamed I’d have eyes for another but I couldn’t help it, she could do things to me that my long and loyal mate just could not, or would not do.

I’d call it a midlife crises but for heaven’s sake, I’m 72 years old and I never dreamed I’d be able to feel this way about another ever again. Believe me, I know my significant other doesn’t deserve this and I know I’m the luckiest guy in the world and should be satisfied with what I have but hey, it’s never enough with me. I feel as low as a person can go but what can I say, I’m a sinner, scalawag, snake and sidewinder all rolled into one.

I saw her first in Costco just five months ago now. How could I not look. She was sleek, colorful and had that “come hither” look about her. I swear she made eye contact with me from clear across the store and when my wife saw what was going on she asked, “What are you looking at?”

I replied, “Oh nothing. Do you see how big they’re making television sets now? Wouldn’t it be great to have one?”

She replied, “Keep dreaming mister.”

But that’s the problem. I wake up in the middle of the night dreaming about her. Normally we go to Costco about four times a year, if that, but I think my wife first suspected something was going on when I kept asking if we could go back to Costco for I was hoping I might run into her again.

Sure enough, on our next Costco excursion I caught another glimpse of her and decided to act upon my feelings. I know I was being irrational but just the sight of her made me tingle all over. I had to try and get a note to her expressing my feelings and to see if she felt the same way about me. But first I had to ditch my wife in the frozen food section. I just had to know if I turned her on like she did me. And that was the beginning of our love affair.

When my wife finally found me in Costco she asked skeptically, “Where have you been?”

“Oh, I was just looking at the books. Have you noticed that they sure have cut back on the selection. It’s all fiction now.”

My wife replied, “Oh there’s plenty of fiction around here and I think I’m getting an earful.”

Over the course of the next five months we had several clandestine meet-ups. I found my new love and I were totally compatible and she never once complained that I flushed the toilet while she was taking a shower. She was able to organize me in ways I never thought possible and she helped make me a better writer. I’ll be the first one to admit she was a lousy housekeeper and she didn’t do windows but she fulfilled me in ways I never thought possible.

Then one day my wife caught us together. I could tell she was deeply hurt so I got down on my knees and begged for her forgiveness. Men can be such jerks! I looked my wife in the eye and gave her my solemn promise that I would never stray again.

The romance had fizzled anyway because in the end it all turned out to be that all she wanted was my money and my wife wasn’t about to let that happen. I was beginning to have doubts anyway about her sexual orientation. Mac is such a funny name for a female anyway.

Digital Edition 10.02.24

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digital edition

Digital Edition 10.02.24

Historic military convoy to travel through Kansas in October

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Around 36 historic military vehicles will travel along old Jefferson Highway during October.
The Military Vehicle Preservation Association: History In Motion has done convoys every few years since 2009, including a convoy along old Route 66. This year, they are traveling along old Jefferson Highway October 1-22, 2024. The MVPA Jefferson Highway convoy will come through Kansas October 11-15. The convoy is expected to consist of around 36 registered teams and military vehicles, plus about 8 support vehicles – around 70 people total.
The latest roster of registered vehicles/teams and a general map of the route is attached.
The convoy will come through my immediate area of Southeast Kansas October 14-15, so I have more information for that available.
SCHEDULE
 
Please note: The convoy will stick to the times as closely as possible, but they are ESTIMATES. There will be an advance team that will be 15-30 minutes ahead of the full convoy. Our office will have contact information for the advance team.
Day 11: Friday, October 11
  • Overnight stop in Fort Leavenworth
Day 12: Saturday, October 12
  • Overnight stop in Olathe
Day 13: Sunday, October 13
  • Overnight stop in Fort Scott
Day 14: Monday, October 14
  • 10:00a – Leaving Fort Scott
  • Weather permitting, they will follow the original route, which does not follow the current path of US-69, as much as possible out towards Arcadia, then back by Northeast High School, through Downtown Arma, then on to Franklin
  • 11:00a – Public viewing at Franklin Community Park, Franklin (Miners Hall Museum is hosting them)
  • 2:30p – Leave Franklin Community Park
  • 6:00p – Supper at The Lord’s Diner – NOTE FOR MEDIA: Please do not promote this as it is not open to the public. However, it is open to media. The Lord’s Diner is located in what was originally the Jefferson Highway Garage. It is the last known building along the route to still have its original signage.
  • Overnight in Pittsburg
Day 15: Tuesday, October 15
  • Convoy will break up and have breakfast, explore, and lunch on their own. I’m told some are have expressed interest in the Veterans Memorial with the Vietnam Memorial Wall replica on the PSU campus.
  • 2p Rally point – Home Depot parking lot in north Pittsburg
  • “Parade” – Convoy will go by Pittsburg’s middle school then through Downtown Pittsburg
  • On to Big Brutus: Convoy aims to stay on old Jefferson Highway, and staying off of the bypass around Pittsburg. That means from Broadway Street in Pittsburg, they hope to follow South 220th Street/old Langdon Lane to US-69, then take that south all the way to Scammon Road/old KS-102, which they will then follow all the way west to Big Brutus.
  • 3p Public viewing at Big Brutus, West Mineral (FREE admission at Big Brutus from 3 p.m. until close)
  • Cookout for convoyers at Big Brutus
  • Overnight at Big Brutus

USDA Launches Assistance Network to Support Financially Distressed Farmers and Ranchers

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The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) is announcing the launch of the Distressed Borrowers Assistance Network, an initiative designed to provide personalized support to financially distressed farmers and ranchers across the nation. Through a series of Cooperative Agreements, this national network will connect distressed borrowers with individualized assistance to help them stabilize and regain financial footing. USDA’s Farm Service Agency (FSA) made this announcement today at the Farm Aid Festival in Saratoga Springs, N.Y.

“I started my off-ranch career as a Farm Advocate, working hand-in-hand with other tireless farmer advocates. Having someone with experiences in ag finance help producers work through financial difficulties can be the difference between them losing the farm or prospering,” said FSA Administrator Zach Ducheneaux. “The Distressed Borrowers Assistance Network underscores our dedication to farmers and ranchers receiving the tailored support they need. These partnerships also illustrate that USDA acknowledges the importance of these advocates and sees them as part of the solution to ensure program access for all farmers, ranchers, and producers.”

Network partners include Farm Aid, Rural Advancement Foundation International, the University of Arkansas, the Socially Disadvantaged Farmers and Ranchers Policy Center at Alcorn State University, and the University of Minnesota.  Through this initiative, we are collaborating with community-based organizations to better serve financially distressed producers. Network partners will provide farm loan policy training to the community-based organizations so the organizations can work alongside FSA to help producers understand financing available through FSA, ensuring that when they visit an FSA office, the partner organization representative and FSA staff can better assist.

FSA, in collaboration with farm support organizations and land-grant institutions, will facilitate this network, which will provide the technical resources and guidance of USDA partners to experts from distressed and underserved communities. The network’s approach includes integrating knowledgeable service providers to deliver one-on-one support to borrowers so they can best make plans and understand options to overcome their financial challenges.

The Distressed Borrowers Assistance Network will address the immediate needs of distressed borrowers and provide comprehensive, wraparound services aimed at addressing the unique challenges faced by financially distressed producers. Once stabilized financially, these borrowers will be better positioned to access new opportunities and continue contributing to the agricultural economy. These investments will also build a system of service providers that can better support agricultural communities for years to come. Investing in a network of agricultural financing service providers to help bridge access to FSA loans is a benefit for rural and agricultural communities.

Additional Farm Loan Programs Improvements

FSA recently announced significant changes to Farm Loan Programs through the Enhancing
Program Access and Delivery for Farm Loans rule. These policy changes, to take effect Sept. 25, 2024, are designed to expand opportunities for borrowers to increase profitability and be better prepared to make strategic investments in enhancing or expanding their agricultural operations.

FSA also has a significant initiative underway to streamline and automate the Farm Loan
Program customer-facing business process. For the over 26,000 producers who submit a direct loan application annually, FSA has made several meaningful improvements including:
• The Loan Assistance Tool that provides customers with an interactive online,
step-by-step guide to identifying the direct loan products that may fit their business
needs and to understanding the application process.
• The Online Loan Application, an interactive, guided application that is paperless
and provides helpful features including an electronic signature option, the ability to
attach supporting documents such as tax returns, complete a balance sheet, and build
a farm operating plan.
• An online direct loan repayment feature that relieves borrowers from the
necessity of calling, mailing, or visiting a local USDA Service Center to pay a loan
installment.
• A simplified direct loan paper application, reduced from 29 pages to 13 pages.
• A new educational hub with farm loan resources and videos.

USDA encourages producers to reach out to their local FSA farm loan staff to ensure they fully understand the wide range of loan making and servicing options available to assist with starting, expanding, or maintaining their agricultural operation. To conduct business with FSA, producers should contact their local USDA Service Center.

More Information

To learn more about FSA programs, producers can contact their local USDA Service Center.
Producers can also prepare maps for acreage reporting as well as manage farm loans and view other farm records data and customer information by logging into their farmers.gov account. If you don’t have an account, sign up today.

FSA helps America’s farmers, ranchers and forest landowners invest in, improve, protect and expand their agricultural operations through the delivery of agricultural programs for all Americans. FSA implements agricultural policy, administers credit and loan programs, and manages conservation, commodity, disaster recovery and marketing programs through a national network of state and county offices and locally elected county committees. For more information, visit fsa.usda.gov.

Peppers from the Garden

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Photo courtesy: KSU

Peppers from the garden can last several weeks stored in the fridge especially if they are kept moist.

They can also be frozen for longer term storage. Cut the peppers into slices or chunks and place in a single layer on a baking sheet. Freeze for one hour. This is called “flash freezing”.

The pepper pieces can now be stored in a freezer bag and won’t stick together in a clump. Although frozen peppers may be soft or even mushy when defrosted, they maintain
their flavor and work great for cooking.