Depending on circumstances, rural living offers up many ways for folks to experience loneliness. In some cases, the remoteness of the farmstead can cause loneliness. In other cases, having the children grow up and leave home can cause loneliness for their parents. In other cases, the relentless hours of work can cause loneliness.
However, for some folk, they choose to move to the country to escape the stress of urban living.
Such was the case of two single lady retirees who were the best of urban friends. Both had been career women. Each had lived alone in an apartment in the big city for quite some time. When contemplating their retirement future, they decided that in retirement they’d buy an acreage, move to a quiet rural area, and live together to cut expenses.
So, that’s what they did. They bought 10 acres with a nice old farm house plenty big for them to share. On the farmstead they bought wuz a nice old-fashioned red tile chicken house.
After getting settled in, they came to a mutual decision to put the chicken house to good use and go into the egg-selling bizness.
They decided to buy 500 hens and 500 roosters to start their egg bizness. But, before they made their purchase, they visited the local ag extension agent, ol’ N. O. Wittall, for poultry advice.
When they told the agent their plan, he quickly said they’d seriously misjudged the number of roosters they’d need for 500 hens. He said, even 50 roosters would be plenty for that many hens.
That’s when the retirees chimed in together, “No. We’re going to buy 500 roosters because we’re experts on how it feels to be lonely.”
***
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve related an Ole and Sven joke. Since winter is just ahead for us all, this story is apt.
Ole and Lena had lived all their married lives on a little farm located on the Minnesota side of the state line with Iowa.
One day, Ole’s friend Sven, who wuz a county commissioner, stopped by and told Ole that he had something important to tell him.
Expecting really bad news, Ole’s plunked down in his recliner, not far from the blazing fireplace, and said, “Lay da’ bad news on me, Sven.”
Sven told Ole that surveyors doing advance work on state line highway improvements had found a monumental old surveying error. “They’ve confirmed that da’ original survey of the state line is off a hunert yards to the south,” Sven told a dispirited Ole. “The truth is dat all these years you and Lena just t’ought you were a’living in Minnesota. From now on, you’ll officially be living in Iowa.”
After the shocked Ole absorbed that news, he broke into a big smile. “Dat’s great news, Sven, I don’t t’ink Lena and me could a’stand a’living t’rough another tough Minnesota winter again.”
***
The health care system in the good ol’ U.S.A. is pretty much in a state of flux. The cost of health care and medicines is advancing much faster than the rate of inflation.
The recent experience of an elderly farmer proves the point. The guy went to his doctor for his annual checkup. When he left his doctor’s office, he wuz carrying a long list of prescription medicines that his doctor had prescribed.
So, the farmer went to his pharmacist to get all the prescriptions filled. His pharmacist looked the list over, turned to the farmer and said, “I have one quick question for you before I begin getting your meds. How do you want to arrange financing?”
***
My column last week about Brittany bird dogs that I’ve owned and hunted over, prompted a kindly Nebraska reader to volunteer his own dog story.
He told me that his first bird dog years ago was mixed breed — a “Cocker Scandal.”
***
I’ll shift to a little shop talk now. All summer and fall, my grandson and son-in-law have been working some weekends on a 28 x 36-foot shop/man-cave toward the back side of Damphewer Acres.
Although not finished, the finish line is coming into sight. The building is weatherized, insulated, electrified, heated, cooled, and paneled. I’ve even got a nice fescue lawn growing around it. What’s mainly left to do is put up the old barn tin wainscoting, and complete the bathroom.
The Man Cave is going to be really nice when it’s completed. My son-in-law, Harley Ryder, has a lot of shop tools that’s he’s going to move into the shop when it’s done. I’m anything but a handyman, but I’m still pretty good at hosting parties and card games. So, I’m guessing that’s about all I’ll do in the new Man Cave, and Harley will be the one who puts the tools to good use.
***
My wise words for the weedkare: “A lot of folks are like rocking chairs — a lot of action, but nary a bit of progress.”
Also, “A ‘hick town’ is where if you see a girl sharing a meal with a man old enough to be her father, he is!”
Buckle up for winter. It’s coming. Let’s hope it’s a mild one.
