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The Indoor Environment for Houseplants in Kansas

By
Guest Columnist
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The indoor environment for houseplants in Kansas is not the most ideal! In fact it can be difficult with a lot of trial and error on your part. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we sometimes kill these plants. Improper light intensity ranks close to improper watering as a frequent cause for failure with houseplants. A plant in proper light is better able to withstand the high temperature and low humidity of many homes. The amount of light necessary for good growth varies with different types of plants

Flowering plants
All flowering plants need moderately bright light. Plants kept continuously in poor light will have spindly shoots, few flowers, yellow foliage, poor flower color and, often, little or no growth.

South, east or west windows are excellent for most flowering potted plants, with the possible exception of African violets and related plants, which prefer a north window. Plants in bloom should be kept out of direct sunlight or the flowers will heat excessively and collapse more quickly.

Light in the average room, away from windows, is not bright enough for most flowering plants, even when ceiling fixtures are kept on.

Fluorescent lights located fairly close to houseplants will improve growth of plants that cannot be placed close to windows. When using artificial lights, place them about one foot above the top of the plant and keep them on for about 16 hours each day. The effects of insufficient light cannot be cured by extra fertilizer, water or repotting.

Foliage plants
Foliage plants are generally divided into those suitable for low-light areas, moderate-light areas and bright-light areas. Only a few plants can tolerate dimly lit room interiors. Most foliage plants do well with light at a north window, daylight with no direct sun, or sunlight diffused through a lightweight curtain. Plants that require full sunlight should be put in a south window.

Plants can become acclimated to a location. An abrupt move from a low-light to a bright-light location may be damaging. Leaves gradually face toward light for maximum light absorption, especially in low-light areas. Moving a plant disrupts this orientation and causes the plant to use light less efficiently for a period of time. This is especially true of large plants.

Abruptly moving a plant to more intense light — especially direct sunlight — results in bleaching or burning of foliage. Any lighting changes should be made gradually. Many plants can be kept from getting one-sided by turning them once a week.

The End of Groundhog Day as we know it???

By
Steve Gilliland
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If my 73 years on this rock has taught me anything, it’s just when you think you have seen and heard it all, you haven’t! Our friends at PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are at it again, and frankly, we should have seen this one coming. Their latest quest involves trying to free the self-avowed weather prognosticator and main character of Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil.

Here are excerpts of a letter from PETA to Phil’s handlers at the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club trying to barter Phil’s release. “Groundhogs are shy prey animals who, when allowed, actively avoid humans, yet year after year, Phil is transported to Gobbler’s Knob, whisked on stage, and subjected to a noisy announcer, screaming crowds, and flashing lights against all his natural instincts. If approached in his natural habitat, he would run away in fear, not volunteer to live in captivity, unable to do anything that’s natural and important to him like hibernate or burrow – just to be a town’s once-a-year fake meteorologist. Our letter suggests the groundhog club respect Phil and set a wonderful example for how everyone can move beyond “Groundhog Day” by replacing him with a delicious vegan “Weather Reveal” cake that revelers can enjoy as an alternative to exploiting wild animals. The time is long overdue.” The letter also urged Groundhog Day officials to “sprinkle some happiness” into Phil’s life by letting him retire.

Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania was settled and named by the Delaware Indians as a campsite halfway between the Allegheny and Susquehanna Rivers. When German settlers arrived in the 1700’s, they brought with them a tradition known as “Candlemas Day,” celebrated in Germany on Feb. 2nd, which happens to be the mid-point between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, (winter and spring.) Tradition held that if Feb. 2nd were sunny, the last half of winter would be nasty and cold, and visa-versa if Feb 2nd was cloudy. In Germany, for whatever reason, hedgehogs were observed to see if a shadow was cast. In Pennsylvania, given the absence of hedgehogs, groundhogs were selected to assume that role. An old German saying read: For as the sun shines on Candlemas Day, so far will the snow swirl until May, for as the snow blows on Candlemas Day, so far will the sun shine until May. So, in other words, if Phil sees his shadow, 6 more weeks of winter will ensue. Pennsylvania’s first official celebration of Groundhog Day was in 1886, when the legendary groundhog was named Punxsutawney Phil, and the first trip to Phil’s mythical home on Gobbler’s Knob, was made the following year.

Now, everything I can find, tells me that Phil’s “subjection to a noisy announcer, screaming crowds and flashing lights” lasts less than one-half day each year, and for the other 364 days, 23 ½ hours, he enjoys a climate-controlled room at the Punxsutawney Library. complete with all the dog food and ice cream he wants. Now certainly if we trust Phil to predict the arrival of spring, he must be able to communicate, so let’s ask him what he thinks of PETA’s proposal. I imagine the conversation going something like this;

Me: So, Phil, have you heard that PETA wants to “free” you by retiring you to a preserve somewhere so you can live out the rest of your life like a wild groundhog?

Phil: Say what now??? I really hope you’re joking (as he takes another bite of ice cream)

Now, I know common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden, but just like I know David Copperfield cannot really make the Empire State Building disappear, I also know Phil cannot really predict the arrival time of spring, probably having no clue whether he sees his shadow or not, but it’s fun to think so. So why mess with it? I have no doubt there are animals in this country, both pets and domestic livestock, that are truly abused, and where PETA could do some real good. So, to the well-intentioned folks at PETA, please concentrate your efforts on causes worthy of your time; people will take you a little more seriously. Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors.

Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected].

Playing Ketchup

By
Lee Pitts
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lee pitts
I live on the edge of a small town whose only fast food is a Subway. The void has been filled by food trucks. I don’t know if they’ve come to your town yet but every day at lunch time there are at least two food trucks open for business and some days three in my town. These include food trucks named The Greasy Weiner, Hanna’s Street Tacos and La Taqueria. The trucks appear to be doing a land office business judging by the long lines of construction workers and nine-to-fivers on their lunch hour.
One of the good things about a food truck is that if you don’t like your present location you just up and move. I don’t know what’s in it for the people who own the parking lots where the food trucks set up shop but I’m sure they get at least a free taco or two as rental income. The food trucks are so popular that restaurants in the bigger towns are playing catch-up, or is it ketchup, and are copying items invented by the food truck owners. For example, “street tacos” have found their way onto menus at fancy restaurants and my wife really likes them. They are about half the size of a regular taco and they can be made with fish, beef, pork even bison. The one thing I haven’t seen yet are food trucks that specialize in hamburgers and we really need one or two of them.
Whenever I see a food truck it reminds me of the old photos I’ve seen of cowboys gathered around the chuckwagon at a roundup only instead of cowboy hats the construction workers are wearing hard hats and there are no chaps and spurs. Since there is no seating provided the construction workers can be seen sitting uncomfortably on a curb or on their haunches. The advantages of a food truck are it costs about a third of what a restaurant meal would cost and it’s fast, so people on their lunch hour don’t have to worry about clocking in late when their lunch hour is over.
Food trucks really are modern day chuckwagons. Legendary cattleman Charles Goodnight invented the chuckwagon in 1866 when he got an old army wagon with extra durable iron axles and he put a box on the back that served as the cookie’s kitchen. They became so popular that Studebaker, the only company I know of that made the transition from selling wagons to selling cars, sold their version of the chuckwagon for about a hundred bucks. They were called chuckwagons because the grub the cowboys ate was also referred to as chuck. The chuckwagon, which was sometimes also called “the crumb castle” by the cowpokes, was the center of activity during a branding and cowboys “put on the nose bag” and even took an afternoon siesta underneath the chuckwagon because it provided the only shade for miles around.
I don’t know why someone doesn’t launch a “chain” of chuckwagon food trucks that serve hamburgers and other beef items. Instead of a truck the chuckwagon would be a wagon designed to look like chuckwagons of yesteryear, with the addition, of course, of brake lights and turn signals. If one location was bad you could just hook up the chuckwagon to a vehicle and move it to a new location, no horses necessary.
My idea of a chuckwagon food truck could be a great “green” concept that environmentalists should love. Picture in your mind six burley construction workers ordering gigantic beef and bean burritos and chimichangas and then getting in their work truck with all the windows rolled up. In the cab would be an on-board methane digester that would turn the gas produced by the workers into fuel. It would be a totally enclosed enviro system and the gas produced would propel the workers far enough to get to them to the next chuckwagon where they could re-fill on beans again. I can even envision a hybrid version for people who don’t want to eat beans for every meal.
If Elon Musk ever caught wind of my concept I have no doubt that in a matter of weeks we’d have thousands of Tesla Taco Trucks at Tesla charging stations around the country, thus giving an all new meaning to the words “gassing up.”

Pet Tricks

By
Lee Pitts
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lee pitts

I’ve always had an interest in magic and consider myself a better than average prestidigitator. I also consider myself a better than average animal trainer so I thought that one day I’d be discovered and given a one year residency in Las Vegas. I can envision my name up in lights on some giant marquee on the strip… The Great Pittsy And His Flying Sheep Show.

For my first trick I’d bring out my thirty Rhode Island Red chickens. I’d place them in a long sandbox and to hypnotize them I’d lay them in the sand with their head extended and their eyes facing the crowd. Then, one by one I’d put my index finger right in front of their eyes and draw a straight line. Farm folk probably know this trick but the city slickers who’ll see my show in Vegas would get just as excited about this trick as I did the first time I saw it. I’d leave all 30 chickens in this hypnotic trance throughout my show.

Cindy, the best dog I ever had would be the star of my second trick. With Cindy watching me I’d pull a real rabbit out of a hat and then Cindy would one-up me by walking behind the stage props, picking up a white rabbit in her tender mouth and bringing it to me. By the time Cindy had retrieved the sixth rabbit the crowd would be on their feet. I got the idea for this trick one time when I forgot to latch the door on the hutch of my feedlot full of rabbits and they all jumped out. Cindy found every one and brought them to me without a scratch on them.

For the next act I’d have to borrow the intelligent dog that belongs to my horseshoer Monte Mills. Monte and his Lucky Horseshoe Band are an entertainment fixture in my neck of the woods and I thought Monte might let me use his dog if I brought him along to provide musical interludes between acts. I’d ask Monte’s dog, “What do all these painted ladies on street corners in the gaudier parts of town do to make a living?” And right on cue Monte’s dog would roll over on its back and move all four paws and legs up and down.

If you’ve raised sheep you know about this. If you place a small hurdle that the sheep have to jump over to get their feed the sheep will virtually fly over it. But here’s the thing: after a week of this you can remove the hurdle and the sheep will still jump over the hurdle that is no longer there. Thus the name of my act… The Great Pittsy And His Flying Sheep Show.

No show would be complete without an appearance by my wonder horse Gentleman. Anyone who has seen the cover of my book, A Gentleman and A Scholar, is aware that I can get Gentleman to let out a big horse laugh which I taught him by putting his bit in the freezer. So I’d tell a couple corny jokes and right on cue Gentleman would laugh his butt off. Then I’d ask Gentleman what I owed him for his performance and he’d reach inside my heavily sequined jacket and pull a carrot from the inside pocket.

For the final act I’d bring out Huey, Louie, Phooey and Gooey, four purebred Brahma yearling bulls that were easily the smartest, most gentle cattle I’ve ever owned. Every day I fed them some cubes that they’d eat out of my hand. Then one day I tricked Huey, by reaching into the feed sack and offering my hand to him, except this time there was nothing there. Huey immediately shook his head and his giant ears went all flopping around making a really funny sound and pretty soon all four bulls were doing the same thing. It was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen and the crowd would eat it up. I’d also taught the bulls to follow me around in single file and that’s how I’d conclude my show by walking off the stage followed by the bulls.

Of course the show would be so great the audience would demand on encore so me and all my co-stars would go back on stage and wake up all the chickens.

I Have My Reasons

By
Lee Pitts
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lee pitts

Using a set of reasons like I used to give on my high school and college livestock judging teams I will now appraise your average farm animals.

Sir, or Madame,

I place this class of farm animals #1 (dog), #2 (horse), #3 (hog), #4 (cow), and #5 (sheep). I had a very close top pair and an easy bottom.

I place the dog on top, and over the horse, because the dog can’t buck you off so high that birds will build nests in your beard on your way back down to earth. The dog doesn’t smell as bad as the hog (unless it’s tangled with a skunk), doesn’t have the brains of a fire hydrant like the sheep and doesn’t try to kill you in the sorting alley or the rodeo arena like the bovine. Dogs are cheap to feed, can ride in the cab of your pickup, and will protect the empty beer cans and broken jack in the bed of of your truck with their life.

I do grant that the dog can’t carry you around on its back all day like the horse and its incessant yapping can be annoying.

In placing the horse second I highly value that you can tell your rumors, gossip, hearsay and transgressions to your horse and it will never spill the beans. Also, a horse will follow your subtle commands unless they are of an idiotic nature. The horse can turn like a serpent, walk like a cat and run like a deer. The only other contrivance that can do that on a farm is green and is mechanical in nature. The horse looks good in leather and is the only animal I know of that smells good when sweaty. Unlike a cowboy, your average horse knows what “whoa” means. Horses have better dentition than the cow and can run faster than a sow. Horses are also kinder than other farm animals and if you don’t think so watch them stand head to tail and swat flies off each other. Name one time you’ve ever seen a hog do that with its corkscrew tail.

Over the centuries a good cow horse has always been worth about ten times the value of a cow.

I do grant that pork tastes better than horse meat and your average county fair racing pig costs less than the average Thoroughbred at Keeneland.

I place the hog in the third position and over the cow because the pig doesn’t have the IQ of a cauliflower like many cows I’ve known. In terms of intelligence hogs could have been placed at the top of the class but their putrid smell and evasive nature puts them in the third position today. I do not like that they are evasive as coyotes and have the morals of a Congressperson.

I grant that the meat from a bovine tastes better that all the rest but I was forced to put the cow in the fourth spot today because when the chips are down cattle are no where to be found. Take the bull for instance, when he’s done violating cows and heifers he goes off and drinks with his buddies for nine months. Neither is the cow that quick on the uptake. All a cow has to do to live a long and productive life is bring a healthy calf to the branding pen every year and yet she will not stand for a bull and kicks at the artificial inseminator. They also have a propensity to pee on expensive hay. Cows aren’t cowboy-friendly and if you yell instructions at them it just goes in one ear and out the udder.

I place the cow above the sheep and rolled the sheep to the bottom of the class because the cow is still not as stupid as your normal sheep whose IQ is lower than the average temperature of South Dakota in winter. A sheep doesn’t know the difference between a cow and a sow and spends its time just huntin’ for a place to die. A young lamb’s goal in life is to grow up and be a car seat cushion like its father and mother.

It’s for these reasons that I place this class of farm animals dog, horse, hog, cow, and sheep.

 

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