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In Memory of Ole’ Stumpy

By
Steve Gilliland
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0

I have a love-hate relationship with squirrels, also known as limb chickens or tree bacon in our neck of the woods. Pesky as they are, I know of no other wild critter in the USA more pampered than the squirrel. I have to admit squirrels are fun to watch as they roll around inside those glass jar feeders. I’ve always wanted to catch a squirrel inside one and run out and screw the lid on before it could flee. We buy corn to feed them, and then buy feeders to hold the corn. We teach them to take peanuts from our hands, and I even heard of someone who had taught the little beggars to tap on the front door when they wanted a handout. Last year at the fair we bought a rig that suspends two ears of corn side-by-side above the ground, forcing them to jump up and hang onto the corn while they get a mouthful.

A couple years back, a squirrel with only half a tail became a regular at our new feeder; we named it “Ole’ Stumpy.” We thought at first that Stumpy was a male, but when they hang spread-eagled from the corn with both right feet on one ear and both left feet on the other and spin around in the process looking like a centerfold for PlaySquirrel, it becomes fairly simple to examine them anatomically. There were no bulging body parts on Stumpy’s underside so we deemed her a girl. We could only guess at how Stumpy lost the end of her tail. Perhaps at Stumpy’s last home, some yappy little mongrel did get a piece of her, proudly wagging its tail as it showed its master nothing but the back half of Ole’ Stumpy’s tail. Or maybe Stumpy was one of those squirrels that someone taught to knock on the front door for a treat. We have lots of seniors in our little town, and I could see it all; old Mrs. Dinglemire up the street who’s partly deaf and mostly blind hears a tapping sound at her front door and when she opens it, there stands Ole’ (Not Yet) Stumpy. Now Ole’ (Not Yet) Stumpy looks like a rat to her, so she grabs her broom and swings it at the innocent squirrel, entangling its thick tail in the broom, so when she lifts the broom, the squirrel comes with it and……well you get the picture; somehow in the melee the little panhandler’s tail got snapped off in the door and Ole’ (not yet) Stumpy became Ole’ Stumpy.

I did a little research on Ole’ Stumpy’s tail dilemma on a website named “The Squirrel Board” (I can’t make this stuff up!) It seems Ole’ Stumpy’ was not alone and squirrel tails are made so they will “deglove” or snap off if a predator has hold of it. The jury seemed to still be out as to whether it would ever grow back and Stumpy would be whole again. The squirrel lovers on that site were out of my league. One guy said “If you’re feeding peanuts to your squirrels make sure they are roasted…I feed mine chopped almonds because they are healthier than peanuts.” (Really; sounds like his squirrels eat better than I do.) He went on to say “Thanksgiving week we fed them almonds, cashews, pistachios, walnuts, chestnuts and hazelnuts for a variety.” I have to admit that would make for some tasty squirrel if you roasted em’ while they were still full of nuts.

Now even though Cousin Eddy from the National Lampoon movie “Christmas Vacation” says squirrels are high in cholesterol, they are not. Bentonville Arkansas, headquarters of Walmart, has an annual World Champion Squirrel Cook-Off that draws TV crews, executive chefs and visitors from around the globe. Their theme is “Squirrel – it’s for Supper,” and they offer “organic tree-to-table squirrel” in dishes like squirrel pizza and squirrel flavored ice cream. And are you aware there is actually an organization

called “Squirrels Unlimited?” (SQU for short) Its mission statement reads: SQU is dedicated to the recognition and promotion of the squirrel as one of mankind’s greatest gifts.”

There is also a market for squirrel tails. Fishing lure manufacturer Mepps in Wisconsin actually pays for squirrel tails because they seem to work better as skirts on their fishing lures than any other product they’ve tried. For fully useable grey, fox and black squirrel tails, they pay twenty-five cents, for fully useable red squirrel tails, they pay twelve cents, or you can get double that value by simply swapping them for new Mepps fishing lures. On their website they caution “Mepps is only interested in “Recycling” tails from squirrels harvested for the table. We do not advocate taking squirrels strictly for their tails.” Mepps says that when they receive the tails, members of their experienced team will grade the tails as premium, average or unusable. Sorry Stumpy, I guess you’re out of luck there too. Maybe she purposely “degloved” her own tail to keep me from being tempted!

You know, now that I’ve written all this about Stumpy, I feel kinda’ bad for her, busted snapped-off tail and all. I mean, she had to have been self-conscious enough already without me dissn’ her like this. We haven’t seen her for a couple years now, so maybe she got run off by the rest of the local nut munchers, or maybe she just couldn’t take the shame anymore and decided to end it all by throwing herself in front of a school bus. I knew I should have gotten her counseling, and given everything people do for squirrels these days, I probably could’ve found that too…continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors.

Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected]

We Did It Her Way (Best Of)

By
tammiehoeme
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The cowboy mind is a marvelous thing to watch work if you ever get the opportunity. Or so my wife tells me.

Around this poor outfit one year out of the last eight was a good year and that year was so good we had enough grass to run some steers along with the cows. This presented a problem the first time we tried to corral the mixed bunch of bovines. You see, on this el rancho there is only one level spot and that is where we built the corrals. Standing in the cattle’s glide path to the corrals is a normally dry creek bed, crossed by a land bridge. Our cows have been across the land bridge hundreds of times but mix in a few male minds, in the form of some steers, and the whole bunch was quitting on us. Every last one of those worthless critters balked at crossing the bridge.

At first we tried to coax them across but they squirted out the sides of our cowboy vise. Next, we tried herding the steers to the back of the bunch but the cows in front still refused to cross. Then we tried “the bigger hammer” theory, as in, “don’t force it just get a bigger hammer.” All seven of my neighbors took a rush at the herd and with sheer manpower tried to force the stubborn cattle across the creek. The cattle fought the creek bed like my horse was fighting his bit.

One of my neighbors who is studying to be a half-wit suggested, “why don’t we get some hay and try to bribe them across.”

I wondered aloud, “What cow in her right mind is going to chase after some moldy hay when she is standing in two foot of succulent green grass?”

A funny feeling was sneaking up my spine that we’d never get the cattle across. We decided to pow wow on the predicament for a spell and while we were standing around trying to scratch our ears with our elbows, my wife approached apprehensively. Realizing that we were engaged in man talk she interrupted meekly. “I have an idea.”

Of course, all the men broke out laughing. “How can a woman understand anything as macho as cattle fording a stream bed.” (As if this were the Red River) But we were so desperate for ideas we’d even listen to a woman.

“I know from personal experience,” said my wife, “that big yellow cow there is very protective of her calf. Remember that time Lee when you tried to corral that cow because she retained her placenta and you couldn’t get her corralled?”

I looked down to the ground sheepishly and the other men gazed upon me in pure disgust.

“Remember when I caught her calf, tied it up, put it in the back of the truck and the cow followed me right into the corral?” continued my wife. “If one of you manly cowboys could manage to get a rope around her calf, tie it up and put it in the back of my truck I’m sure the cow and the rest of the critters would follow that bellering calf across your little obstacle.”

“Ha, ha,” laughed the cowboys collectively. “There are steers in that bunch, they aren’t curious cows. Steers are like men, they have minds of their own.”

My wife knew better than to argue with a mule, a cook or a cowboy. So we tried a couple more times to force the cattle across, just long enough for my wife’s idea to now become our own. Of course, we had to tweak my wife’s idea a great deal So instead of catching the calf and putting it in the back of the truck one of us would just rope the calf and drag it across the bridge.

How original!

One of the weekend cowboys got a rope on the bellerin’ calf and drug it across the land bridge with its bug-eyed momma in close pursuit. Before we knew what was happening all the cattle, steers included, were running across the bridge to see what all the fuss was about.

As we surveyed all the cattle, now safely settled in the corral one of the cowboys remarked, “It’s a good thing we did it our way. It never would have worked her way.”

Just a Little Light: Joy Time

By
tammiehoeme
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0

Dawn Phelps
Columnist

“Joy Time” is about 4:15 every day for me. That’s my agreed-on time to call my oldest sister Joy in Kentucky to check on her, and I call her almost daily. In fact, when is it close to 4:00 each day, either my husband Tom or I will usually say, “It’s almost Joy Time!”
When I call her, we chat a bit and catch up on how each of us are doing. Joy lives alone and home caregivers come to her house a few hours each day to help keep her independent, and they prepare her evening meal five days a week.
I know her caregivers by name and have met one of them—Sumay who moved from Jordan to the U.S. She is knowledgeable about teas, spices, herbs, and soups, and she sometimes introduces Joy to a new dish. If Joy has an upset stomach, Sumay knows just the right tea to make for her.
Delicia is from Central America. She makes delicious tamales and yummy potato soup. And Tasha makes chicken salad for Joy’s sandwiches for the weekend and helps Joy in many ways. I appreciate each worker and love how they care for Joy.
But back to Joy Time, that special time that I connect with Joy almost every day. Our conversations usually begin with “How was your day?” “How are you doing?” “What are you having for supper?”
During most of our phone calls, we talk about present-day things, but sometimes we talk about our past years in Tennessee when we were kids—both of us enjoy remembering and reminiscing. Like the old song “Remember When,” it is fun to talk about and relive our past childhood experiences.
We remember how little money there was when we were young, how we had to pitch in and help with the chores. Counting our grandmother who lived with us, there were ten mouths to feed for each meal, and just peeling enough potatoes for that many was quite a task for a young kid!
We had to draw a lot of water from the well for drinking water and laundry. It took 10 buckets for the washer and 8 buckets to rinse. We washed our clothes in a washing machine, rinsed them by hand in a large tub of rinse water, and wrung them out with the wringer on the washing machine.
We hung them outside to dry, sorting them as we hung them. And oh, they smelled so good when we brought them into the house after they were dry!
Joy and I talk about how we had to learn to cook, sew, and clean at early ages and how we loved living in the country. We agree that the years we spent on the farm were our very best years of all, and we talk about our fun experiences and adventures.
We canned vegetables from the garden and picked wild blackberries from the fields. We were always watchful, listening for rattlesnakes as we picked! Other than the danger of snakes and possibly our black horse that we were afraid of, we felt safe.
My siblings and I explored our farm acreage, swam in the creek, and checked out the paw-paw patch on the backside of the farm for paw-paws. And there was nature—our daddy taught us to love nature.
He taught us how to “whistle up” a male bobwhite by whistling the female call while we sat high in a tree. I remember one day that a male bobwhite responded to my whistle and flew to a tree near where I was hiding from him. It scared me—I wondered if the bird would be angry if he figured out that I was not a female bird—I quit whistling.
Our daddy taught us how to identify the trees by their barks. He would quiz us as we walked along, not letting us look at the leaves on the trees to help us identify them.
Despite the hard work and our frugal income, life was good and peaceful! As I get older, even though we have so many more conveniences, some days I long for the simpler lifestyle and the peaceful life of my childhood; when the pace was slower, people were kinder, the world was safer, and our personal connections felt stronger.
As for my wish for a peaceful place, I realize that I usually find peace outside. In a lawn chair. Under a tree. A gentle breeze. Listening to the birds and the sounds of nature. That has been impossible in recent weeks due to the frigid weather. But I keep telling myself that spring does always follow winter, and I can hardly wait.
For now, I will keep on talking to my sister Joy each day I can. And until spring, Tom and I have decided to look for simple, small Joy Time experiences—like a cup of hot tea, music, reading, or occasional popcorn and a shared Coke in the evening.
And probably more importantly, I will try to keep in touch with someone else who may need someone to call and ask, “How are you doing? How’s your day going?”
Joy Time need not be expensive—keep it simple—as you intentionally plan ways to put a little extra Joy Time into your lives, especially on the days when the temperatures don’t rise above freezing. Wishing you special Joy Times to help warm your heart!

Surprise visit from Joe’s sisters

By
tammiehoeme
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0
Lovina’s Amish Kitchen
Lovina Eitcher,
Old Order Amish
Cook, Wife &

Mother of Eight

 

We are having real winter weather lately. Snow and ice have accumulated which made road conditions not good. This morning the mercury on our thermometer has dipped down to 2 degrees. Brrr!!

We have been busy preparing for church services that will be held here March 2nd, Lord willing. Saturday those assisting us were son Joseph and Grace, daughter Loretta and Dustin, and daughter Verena’s special friend Daniel Ray. A lot was accomplished and greatly appreciated. Loretta needs to elevate her leg as often as she can. She went to her doctor for a checkup and her blood clot she had surgery on is good now. She has another blood clot in a smaller vein that isn’t the deep vein. The doctor put her on a third blood thinner to dissolve this one without surgery. Hopefully all will heal for her. She appreciates all the prayers and well wishes from you readers. Prayers can do so much.

Baby Kylie is 6 weeks old and is very good to care for. Two-year-old Denzel is doing great at potty training. He empties his potty into the “big” potty after he’s done then flushes the toilet. Hopefully soon he will get the idea that he could just use the “big” potty and save him a step. Haha!

Saturday we also had a surprise visit from Joe’s sisters Susan from Indiana and Esther and David and their son Tyrel from Sugarcreek, Ohio. Susan is still recovering from breast cancer surgery. We pray her cancer will stay away and she can be pain free once again. She looked so much better than last time we saw her. After leaving here they visited with my sister Verena. This was greatly appreciated as she has many lonely days.

Our thoughts and prayers are also with my cousin Sovilla and her family. Sovilla is also battling cancer. Sisters Verena and Emma visited her recently while in Berne, Indiana. She is very weak. Cancer is such a dreadful disease. A year ago in March was when brother Albert found out he had stage 4 colon cancer. Eight weeks later he passed away from that dreadful disease. Gone but never forgotten.

Yesterday I had an extra huge laundry. I’m washing all the curtains, quilts, and mattress pads that aren’t in the usual laundry. Daughter Susan and Ervin brought their six children here while they went to an appointment. School was canceled due to road conditions so she wasn’t prepared to have all of them along. Susan felt bad to bring them here since three of the children were sick. I told her it’s okay and daughter Verena was a great nurse to them while they were here.

I made an early supper of spaghetti and meatballs so they could eat before Ervin and Susan were back. I sent supper home for Ervin and Susan as well. They were surely happy that all six children had eaten already. I well remember how much that meant to me when I had young children. As a busy mother you appreciate it so much.

My to-do list is gradually getting smaller. My daughters and daughter-in-law Grace plan to come for a day later this week if health permits. I plan to have them clean the basement. Today I want to go organize the clutter so it will be easier to clean. It is extra full with bikes, etc. being stored down there to make room for church services. I know we could still have church without all the cleaning done but I like the idea that you have a goal to get it all done. I know I would put it off  quite often any other way.

 Stay healthy and safe! God bless!

 

Cherry Cheese Pie

9-inch graham crackers crumb crust or baked pastry shell

8 ounce cream cheese, softened

14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk

⅓ cup lemon juice 

1 teaspoon vanilla 

20 ounce can cherry pie filling 

In a medium sized bowl mix cream cheese until fluffy and gradually mix in condensed milk until smooth. Mix in lemon juice and vanilla. After mixing well, pour into the prepared crust and chill it for 3 hours or until set. Pour pie filling on top after it is chilled.

Lovina’s Amish Kitchen is written by Lovina Eicher, Old Order Amish writer, cook, wife, and mother of eight. Her three cookbooks, The Cherished Table, The Essential Amish Cookbook, and Amish Family Recipes, are available wherever books are sold. Readers can write to Eicher at Lovina’s Amish Kitchen, PO Box 234, Sturgis, MI 49091 (please include a self-addressed stamped envelope for a reply); or email Questionsforlovina@gmail.com and your message will be passed on to her to read. She does not personally respond to emails.

Lovina’s family comes home to help

By
Guest Columnist
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0

Lovina’s Amish Kitchen
Lovina Eitcher,
Old Order Amish
Cook, Wife &
Mother of Eight

Daughter Elizabeth brought frosted sugar cookies and doughnuts and daughter Susan brought frosted pumpkin bars. Also, on the menu was coffee, hot chocolate, and rhubarb juice.
Loretta had surgery on Friday to remove a big blood clot in her left leg. She was pretty sore on Saturday so they stayed home so she could recuperate. Dustin is good at helping her and taking care of their three precious children. Baby Kylie is almost 6 weeks old and is very alert. She smiles a lot and has already won her grandma’s heart. We sent burritos over for their breakfast since they couldn’t be here.
The men worked in the new barn putting in the three remaining horse stalls. Some also worked in our old barn tearing out the old horse stalls. Eventually we plan to tear the old barn down. It is getting to be in bad shape and not worth fixing.
My daughters and daughter-in-law Grace helped me in the house. They washed off the walls and ceilings in the kitchen, dining room, and living room. All the windows in the bedroom, living room, dining room, and kitchen were cleaned as well.
For lunch we made a simple meal of tacos for everyone. Son Joseph and Grace brought supper to make here for everyone in honor of her birthday which was February 6th. They made a delicious meal consisting of hot wings, barbecue chicken, and banana poppers. Also, shrimp and mushrooms cooked in butter on the grill along with chocolate cake and ice cream. Everyone ate supper before leaving for home. Joseph and Grace, and daughter Lovina and Daniel stayed for the night.
I thought we accomplished a lot on Saturday. We will host church services in two and a half weeks. It will be an extra big church attendance since two young souls will be baptized, Lord willing. We need to clean both sides of our pole barn to make room for the extra people attending.
Sunday we had a brunch consisting of fried eggs, potatoes, bacon, cheese, toast, jelly, butter, and hot peppers. Dustin, Loretta, and their children came over to eat with us. It was good for them to get out of the house for a while. Loretta kept her leg elevated a lot which was still quite sore from the surgery. The doctor told her to move it often so the blood keeps flowing. With her handicap it is harder to do when you have to sit in a mobility scooter all the time. A power chair would be much more comfortable for her which they hope to get in the future.
Yesterday a lady from our church district offered to bake the cookies that I was supposed to take to church this coming Sunday. That will really help out and give me more time to clean. I really appreciate it! The women in our church take turns baking bread and cookies for each other when they host church.
Recently Joe and I assisted daughter Elizbeth and Tim with their garage they are making into living quarters. It is getting closer to being finished and ready to move in.
A few cute stories my daughter Elizabeth told me… Allison, 5, said about her 2 year old sister, “Andrea is not very strong and not fast and she can’t reach high, but that’s okay cause God made her that way.” haha! Andrea will be three years old on February 14th.
Eight year old Abigail wanted one kettle soup for supper one night. She couldn’t remember what the soup was called so she said, “That stew with potatoes, noodles, and meat in it.” After a few guesses from her Mom, she said, “It’s that soup you never put enough salt in.” haha!
God’s blessings to all!
Lovina’s Amish Kitchen is written by Lovina Eicher, Old Order Amish writer, cook, wife, and mother of eight. Her three cookbooks, The Cherished Table, The Essential Amish Cookbook, and Amish Family Recipes, are available wherever books are sold. Readers can write to Eicher at Lovina’s Amish Kitchen, PO Box 234, Sturgis, MI 49091 (please include a self-addressed stamped envelope for a reply); or email [email protected] and your message will be passed on to her to read. She does not personally respond to emails.

CHOCOLATE SHEET CAKE

2 cups white sugar
2 cups flour
1 cup water
½ cup shortening
½ cup butter
4 tablespoons cocoa
2 eggs
½ cup buttermilk or sour milk
1 teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla

In a large bowl mix sugar and flour. In a saucepan, bring water, shortening, butter, and cocoa to a boil, stirring constantly and pour over flour and sugar mixture. Add eggs, buttermilk, baking soda, salt, and vanilla mixing well. Pour into a greased 12 x 15 inch pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

 

FROSTING

½ cup butter
6 tablespoons milk
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups powdered sugar
Nuts (optional)

In a medium sized bowl add 3 cups powdered sugar and set aside. In a saucepan mix butter, milk, cocoa, and vanilla bringing to a full boil, stirring constantly. Pour over powdered sugar and mix well. Pour over the cake while the frosting is still warm. Sprinkle with your choice of nuts if desired.

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