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Lettuce Eat Local: Mmmighty nice!!

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Guest Columnist
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Amanda Miller
Columnist
Lettuce Eat Local

 

“Many mumbling mice are making midnight music in the moonlight…mighty nice; mmm!” For some reason this page from Dr. Seuss’s ABC’s often runs through my head, like numerous other children’s literature phrases and quotes that burrow into my subconscious after having read them so many times. I’m a visual learner, and of course the Ms come with a picture, which makes it even more memorable — and somehow, mercifully, in a pleasant way, since the more I consider it, the more horrific it sounds to have a horde of small rodents come harmoniously marching and mumbling across the lawn in the dead of a moonlit night. 

Fortunately, the myriad of Ms that have been marching through my head this week in preparation for this article have been actually mighty nice. Instead of a phonics “mmm,” these elicit a taste-response “mmm.” I started thinking of mustard, then mayonnaise, then milk, then meatballs, then mangos, then mint, then m&m’s, and the ideas kept coming. And each seemed to offer its own reason why it was serendipitously logical to choose it. 

It’s easier to make mustard than you would think, and it made sense to follow homemade nut butter with another homemade condiment. May is of course the appropriate month in which to discuss mayo, especially considering the recent Cinco de Mayo and the fact that this week I sheepishly watched a 20-minute America’s Test Kitchen taste panel on nine different mayonnaises. Milk, well, it’s always a good time to talk about milk when you live on a dairy farm. Last night as the kids were chowing down our red curry chicken meatballs, Brian deduced that I was recipe developing meatballs…but I wasn’t, we just super randomly also had barbeque meatballs and kale-parmesan balls earlier in the week; I never make meatballs, but here we were. Mangos were on sale at Dillons, so even the grocery magnates were angling for a mango article — plus I usually identify mangos as my favorite food, so I’m always ready. My garden stocktank of spearmint and peppermint is in full spring production, and I just tried two new variations in my routine daily pot of mint tea that I wanted to share (with a hint of lemongrass, and sweet iced fenugreek!). And I have a 35-lb box of colorful sugarfree M&Ms that are begging to be written about and explained. 

Too many options. Yet I’m at this point in my rife-with-possibilities article and honestly I don’t know what recipe I’ll be sharing in a hundred words…mmm. If I suggest a mashup of all of the above, you’ll be happy with anything else, right? I’m closing my eyes and envisioning mole-esque meatballs: made with mustard and a splash of milk in the meat, a dollop of mayo and some melted M&Ms in the sauce, garnished with a fresh mint mango salad. I can’t tell if that’s marginally manageable, or straight up in the horror realm with those many mumbling moonlight mice. 

Maybe mixing all of them isn’t the best idea, even though I’m fairly certain (or at least I’m praying) it would be a completely original recipe. Taken in wise pairings, however, the Ms could be majorly moreish. Mango meatballs are sounding very appealing, especially with some gentle touches of tangy mustard and creamy mayo, and no one should ever balk over a minty M&M milkshake. 

M is mighty nice. 

 

Minty Mango Slaw

Hey, at least it’s not all my Ms together, right? I am just not making more meatballs this week, and the milkshake was too easy, so you’re getting this. Mint is so often relegated to desserts and drinks in North America, which clearly I approve of (*takes a sip of tea*), but other cultures often use it more as a “normal” herb, incorporating mint into savory things. Mayonnaise offers magical creaminess, so it fits anywhere within reason, and I adore mango in salads (and everywhere else). 

Prep tips: This is not the time and place to get in an argument, but *cough* Duke’s and Hellman’s are the best mayos; ATK’s taster panel agrees. 

1 small head red cabbage, shredded

salt

2 carrots, shredded

2 mangos, peeled and diced small

1 cup mayo (can use part plain yogurt)

zest and juice of a lime

minced pickled jalapeños, to taste

a handful of fresh mint, minced

Toss the cabbage with a decent sprinkle of salt, scrunching it in with your hands. Add in all remaining ingredients, adjusting seasoning to taste.

Shed Those Fears of Cancer Treatment

By
Guest Columnist
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Mrs. B came into the emergency room one night, years ago, with some stress related issue. After taking her history, I began to suspect there was something else bothering her. As I was beginning her physical exam she blurted out, “I know there is a breast mass but you’re not going to send me to any breast cancer doctor!” She had already decided to avoid standard treatment and her next comment explained why, “My aunt suffered because of awful unnecessary surgery and chemotherapy,” she said. I sensed there was no changing her mind and that meant trouble for my patient.

The story evolved as my patient’s breast cancer grew and eroded through her skin to become a weeping and tender sore. She soon sought out unconventional treatment by a non-physician from a neighboring town with an internet degree of some kind who promised to help her. The treatment involved a curious machine with flashing lights and an unusual noise which apparently indicated which group of herbal supplements the patient needed to buy in order to cure the cancer “naturally.”

More women are diagnosed with breast cancer than any other malignancy, except for skin cancer. If the breast cancer hasn’t spread outside of breast tissue, then, with treatment, the five-year survival is about 99 percent. If the cancer has spread to lymph nodes just outside the breast, then, with treatment, the five-year survival is about 90 percent. Even if the cancer has spread to distant parts of the body, which happens only in about six percent of the cases, then, with treatment, more than 25 percent are still alive after five years. Since 1989, the number of people who die from breast cancer has been steadily decreasing which is the direct result of improved methods for breast cancer screening, detection and treatment.

My patient died less than a year from our meeting in the emergency room. I still regret not convincing her to get help from a science-based breast cancer physician. She may have lived years longer and in more comfort. Many people are now being saved who were previously lost to all types of cancers. Even when lifesaving is not possible, current cancer treatment can at least improve the quality of the time that remains.

Bottom line: The fear of death and the fear of suffering keep some people from seeking medical help. Please shed those fears and seek science-based help.

The late Richard P. Holm, MD is founder of The Prairie Doc® a For free and easy access to the entire Prairie Doc® library, visit www.prairiedoc.org and follow Prairie Doc® on social media featuring On Call with the Prairie Doc® a medical Q&A show streaming on Facebook Thursdays at 7 p.m. central. Prairie Doc Radio is on weekly on SDPB radio at 6am and 1pm Central.

Keen hearing buffalo

By
Milo Yield
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Thayne Cozart
Milo Yield

A rancher decided to diversify into raising buffalo, or bison, to be scientifically correct. Being a cautious type and knowing he would need to borrow a significant amount of money, the rancher asked his banker to accompany him to visit and evaluate a successful buffalo ranch. The banker, also a cautious lender, agreed to make the trip.

When they arrived, the rancher and banker went on a pickup tour of the buffalo ranch. They dually noted that the fencing around the ranch was heavy, high and tight — and expensive.

They also noted that all the corrals and working facilities were fortified to control the powerful buffalo. Those facilities reeked of expense. The trailers for hauling the buffalo to market were top-of-the-line — and expensive.

They stopped in the middle of a huge pasture to get down to the brass tacks of how much money the rancher would need for his buffalo ranch. The rancher could tell by the frown on the banker’s face that he wuz having second thoughts about the loan. His banker sighed and said, “I’m not sure this is gonna work.”

But then, suddenly a large herd of buffalo came charging and stampeding across the range right at them.

Suddenly, not 10-feet from the pickup, the lead buffalo slid to a halt, twitched its ears, and the herd behind did the same.

“Why do you suppose they stopped?” the shaking banker asked.

“Well,” said the rancher, “You see the leader? He’s got very good ears, and I’m guessing he just heard a discouraging word.”

***

One day, a city fellow in a fancy SUV drove into a Flint Hills rancher’s farmstead. He found the owner and sheepishly asked, “How much is that old bull up the road worth to you?”

The rancher pondered for a moment, then said, “That depends. Are you the tax assessor? Do you want to buy him? Or have you run your car into him?”

***

Two elderly farmers were ruminating over coffee and donuts at the local co-op and the conversation turned to city relatives who made a habit of “getting away from the strife of city life for a weekend or holiday to enjoy the peace and quiet of the farm.”

“Say, Joe,” said one, “I heard you solved the visiting relatives problem. How’d you ever get rid of all those relatives who used to visit you so often?”

“It was easy,” Joe replied. “I borrowed money from the rich ones and loaned it to the poor ones. None of ’em ever came back!”

***

A farm son had just reached driving age and he kept nagging his Dad for the car for Friday night. He told his Dad, “All I want to do is go to the movie and eat a hamburger and French fries after the movie.”

Finally, in exasperation, his Dad said, “Why on earth do you think God gave you two feet?”

Without hesitating one second, the teenager replied, “One for the brakes and one for the gas pedal.”

***

Two competitive farming brothers, Pat and Mike, were attending a local fund-raising fish fry to raise money for the local FFA chapter.

After they found a table, Pat told Mike, “I’ll go bring back a platter of fish.” When the fish arrived, Pat without a second thought took the largest piece.

“Some manners you have,” said Mike sarcastically. “If I’d have gone and got the fish platter, I’d have taken the smallest piece and left the biggest for you, dear Brother.”

“Well then, whatcha griping about?” Pat replied. “You got it ain’tcha? You should be happy!”

***

A bone-tired farmer came into the kitchen after three long, hectic days of planting soybeans.

When he asked his loving wife “What’s for supper?” She replied, “We’re having hamburger surprise.

When he snapped, “but this makes hamburger three suppers in a row,” his wife snapped back, “You had it yesterday and the day before … so you certainly didn’t expect to get it again tonight. Surprise!”

***

Overheard at the coffee shop: ”A taxpayer is someone who does not have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.”

***

Also, “City folks move to the country to raise children, but farmers consider that as only a necessary sideline.”

***

And, finally, words of wisdom for the week: “The search for someone to blame is easy and usually successful.” Have a good ‘un.

 

Wheat Tour 2025, Day 2 For the audio version, visit kswheat.com.

By
Guest Columnist
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Kansas Wheat

Contact: Marsha Boswell, [email protected]

On Wednesday, 67 people on the Wheat Quality Council’s 2025 winter wheat tour made their way from Colby to Wichita, Kansas, stopping in wheat fields along six different routes. They were joined in Wichita by local farmers.

Wednesday’s wheat tour scouts made 211 stops at wheat fields across western, central and southern Kansas, and into northern counties in Oklahoma.

 

The calculated yield from all cars was 53.3 bushels per acre. Scouts were able to use the late season formula provided by USDA’s National Agricultural Statistics Service, which includes counting wheat heads, number of spikelets and kernels per spikelet. The yield formula doesn’t take disease, pests or weed pressure into consideration.

 

Gary Millershaski, farmer from southwest Kansas and officer for U.S. Wheat Associates, addressed the group and talked about exports, welcoming the USW guests from central and South America.

 

Romulo Lollato, K-State extension wheat specialist, said, “The story of the day was Wheat Streak Mosaic Virus (WSMV), much worse than the first day. Some fields were bright yellow and very stressed.” He went on to say that southwest Kansas hasn’t had a good crop for last couple years because of drought, and this year they were set up for better year but were hit by WSMV. The biggest concern with WSMV is with loss of yield, but quality will be set mainly by weather during grainfill. In today’s areas, there was not as much drought stress as day one because areas have received rainfall over the past month. He also mentioned other issues, like wheat stem maggot and loose smut.

 

Dennis Schoenhals from Oklahoma Wheat Growers Association reported that USDA-NASS estimated the state’s production at 107.25 million bushels this year, similar to last year. USDA/NASS estimates the Oklahoma crop will yield 39 bushels per acre, compared with 38 last year. Harvested acres are estimated at 2.75 million acres. A tour of agronomists and others in the industry estimated the production slightly lower than the NASS estimate, at 101 million bushels and a yield of 36 bushels per acre.

 

Wheat Tour 25 continues Thursday with six routes between Wichita and Manhattan. Follow along with the tour at #wheattour25. A final production estimate will be announced Thursday afternoon.

Wheat Tour 2025, Day 1 For the audio version, visit kswheat.com.

By
Guest Columnist
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0
Kansas Wheat

Contact: Marsha Boswell, [email protected]

About 67 people from 21 U.S. states and six countries, traveled in 17 cars on six routes between Manhattan and Colby, Kan., Tuesday, stopping at wheat fields every 15-20 miles along the routes, as part of the Wheat Quality Council’s 67th Annual Hard Winter Wheat Evaluation Tour.

 

These tour participants included flour millers and industry professionals from domestic and international mills. U.S. Wheat Associates sponsored six participants who work in flour mills in Central and South America. These grain buyers, flour millers and quality managers were from Mexico, Honduras, Costa Rica and Venezuela. Several had the opportunity to meet and ask questions of a farmer while evaluating a field and even sit in a combine and ride in equipment.

 

More than half of the attendees were first-time participants. They were shown how to take yield measurements from tour alumni, using the formula provided by USDA’s National Agricultural Statistics Service (NASS). This formula is based on 2015-2024 Kansas wheat objective yield data. Farmers can calculate their own field estimates using the same formula with instructions at kswheat.com.

 

Every tour participant makes yield calculations at each stop based on three to four different area samplings per field. These individual estimates are averaged with the rest of their route mates and eventually added to a formula that produces a final yield estimate for the areas along the routes. While yields tend to be the spotlight of the Wheat Quality Tour, the real benefit is the ability to network among the ‘grain chain.’ This tour gives Kansas farmers the chance to interact with and influence their customers around the globe, on the tour, as well as at the #wheattour25 hashtag.

 

Tuesday’s cars of wheat tour scouts made 196 stops at wheat fields across north central, central and northwest Kansas, and into southern counties in Nebraska. They met Tuesday evening at Frahm Farmland in Colby, where they discussed what they had seen during the day and heard from an Extension expert panel including Romulo Lollato, Lucas Haag and Jeannie Falk-Jones. Most of the participants reported seeing the Wheat Streak Mosaic Virus complex and drought conditions.

 

The calculated yield is based on what scouts saw at this point in time. A lot can happen between now and harvest. The calculated yield from all cars was 50.5 bushels per acre, however the northern routes were well below this average, while the southern routes had a higher average. Day 2 of the tour will travel through southwest and south central Kansas.

 

Statewide, based on May 1 conditions, Kansas’ 2025 winter wheat crop is forecast at 345 million bushels, according to NASS. Average yield is forecast at 50 bushels per acre. Acreage to be harvested for grain is estimated at 6.9 million acres.

 

For the week ending May 11, 2025, Kansas winter wheat condition rated 7% very poor, 15% poor, 30% fair, 42% good and 6% excellent. Kansas winter wheat jointed was 92%, near 96% last year and 90% for the five-year average. Headed was 71%, near 70% last year, and well ahead of 47% average.

 

In addition to Kansas reports, scouts from Nebraska and Colorado met the group in Colby to give reports from their states.

 

Royce Schaneman from Nebraska Wheat Board reported that the Nebraska crop is estimated at 34 million bushels. Yield is estimated at 40 bushels per acre.

 

A report from Colorado estimated the crop at 65 million bushels, based on a yield of 35 bushels per acre and 2.1 million acres planted.

 

These estimates are for this year’s hard winter wheat crop during this current snapshot in time.

 

Wheat Tour 25 continues Wednesday with six routes between Colby and Wichita, Kansas.

 

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