Dawn Phelps
Columnist

When Terri went to bed one night in 1992, she could see.  When she awakened the next morning, she was blind, and her condition was untreatable.  About two weeks later, her husband’s words helped get her “out of her slump,” and she learned to do many remarkable things without her sight, like bowling on a winning league and a high score of 179!  After her husband died in 2011, she started her own bereavement group in her home since there was no group nearby!  It had been 11 years since I last saw her when I visited her in 2025.  Here are a few of the things she told me. 

TERRI’S LIFE NOW.  Terri and I talked about what is going on in her life now.  She said she no longer leads a group, but she is engaged in life in other ways.  Her oldest granddaughter is a cross-country runner in college and her youngest is in the fourth grade.  Terri attends her 6 grandchildren’s local sports events—football, volleyball, and basketball.  She said she cannot see the games, but she said, “But I sure can yell!”

She enjoys listening to sports on the radio—KCLY in Clay Center and KNDY in Marysville.  She follows the games play by play on the radio.  She said she is thankful for the radio stations and doesn’t know what she would do without them!  

She cooks and cleans, even shampoos her own carpet!  She said, “I might miss a spot,” but she likes to do it herself.  She is involved in her church group called Hearts and Things which is a place to socialize.  Some who attend quilt, some embroidery, and she knits.  She said they sell their creations to make money for the hospital.

She belongs to an exercise group, and she is still “slim and trim” at 68 and has no grey hair.  She said she was invited to her grandchild’s sixth grade class to talk about her experience with blindness and described it as “a rewarding experience.”

Since I met her the first time, someone thought a service dog might be helpful to her.  She gave it a try but said it was not easy to care for a dog and take it outside on a leash if you are blind, so she reluctantly gave the dog back.

Terri also told me a funny story about something that happened a couple of years ago.  Their family had decided to have soups for Christmas, and a grandchild requested that she make her chicken noodle soup.

So, she had made a big pot of soup, and when it was almost cooked, she thought she needed to add another bag of noodles, and she did.  All went well.  There were no complaints about the soup, but a granddaughter later asked her, “Grandma, when did you start adding hash browns to your chicken noodle soup recipe?”

When she told me the story, she began laughing, knowing she had meant to add noodles to her soup but had added hash browns instead.  To me, it was phenomenal that she attempted making a big pot of soup and that she could find the ingredients at all!  I admired her for being able to laugh at her mistake, and I laughed with her!  

“DOWN DAYS.”  She said she sometimes has a “down day” and that her biggest disappointment is still not being able to see her children and grandchildren.  She also spoke about one of her small challenges and said that, every now and then, her ice maker “spits” out an ice cube.  She said it is a big challenge for her to find the ice cube before it melts into a puddle.  She said, “You ought to see me—on the floor, feeling for an ice cube.  And sometimes I find it, pick it up, and drop it again!”

AN INSPIRATION.  Terri is very loved by her family and many friends.  When others witness how Terri has rebuilt her life after becoming blind, she has inspired others to “see” past their own hardships—I admire her grit and determination. 

Ben Sweetland wrote, “We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.”  Terri has already held her torch high, lighting the way for others.  She helps us “see” the blessings in our own lives and reminds us to keep going.

CANDY CANES ALL IN A ROW.  I will always remember Terri’s red and white candy canes standing straight and proud in a row alongside her sidewalk that day in December 2014.  I remember how she responded when I asked her the question, “How did you get your candy canes so straight?”  

She told me, “Oh, I put one foot in between the canes,” demonstrating how she used one foot then the other to measure the space between each cane.  I was impressed by her ingenuity and balance!  She could have stayed on the couch after she lost her eyesight.  But she chose to get up off the couch and live life by putting one foot in front of the other, every day!

Terri has spent her life making the world more beautiful for others.  She could not see those candy canes during that Christmas season herself, but she placed them there to brighten the world for others!  Perhaps Terri is still teaching others to put one foot in front of the other during their tough times and keep on walking, especially during the Christmas holidays when stress, finances, and life is difficult for some.

Meadowlark Hospice gave Terri an Achievement Award plaque in November 2025 with a bowling ball and bowling pins on it.  It said “the candy cane lady who amazed and inspired others to pursue life fiercely and for the best bowling record ever!  Thanks for sharing your story.”

During the Christmas holidays, we remember the story of a baby born in Bethlehem long ago.  We also give gifts, gather with families and friends, and recall past Christmas memories.  Terri’s story also reminds us to be thankful for what we have, especially our gift of sight.  Thank you, Terri, for your inspiring story!

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By Dawn Phelps

The first time I met Terri was in December 2014 when I took another hospice employee with me to meet her.  Before going, when I asked for her street address, Terri said, “My house will be the one with the candy canes.”  So, I knew I was at the right house when I spotted candy canes lining a sidewalk, and Terri warmly welcomed us at her front door.

The second time I visited her was in October 2025, too early for Christmas decorations, but I was again warmly welcomed.  She had agreed to let my husband Tom come with me to meet her, and it was amazing to see her again 11 years later. 

As before, her house was neat and tidy and decorated for autumn.  She invited us in.  She and I sat on the couch, and Tom sat in a recliner.  She was easy to talk to, and we “caught up” on the many changes since I had last seen her.  By then, her daughters had grown up and married, and Terri now had 4 grandsons and 2 granddaughters.  But first, let me tell you a little about Terri’s story from our 2014 meeting.  

TERRI’S STORY.  Terri was born in a small town in Kansas in the house where I visited her.  She grew up and attended public school, and after high school, she married her classmate, Jim, in 1979.  Terri and Jim lived in various locations in Kansas and Nebraska while Jim worked for the railroad.  

After a few years, she and Jim moved back to her childhood home where Terri currently lives—where they raised their two daughters, Mistina (Misty) and Stephanie.  Life was going fairly well for Terri and her family until February 1992.  That’s when Terri lost her eyesight.  

She told me, “When I went to bed I could see, and when I woke up, I could not see.”  She continued, “I rubbed my eyes and wondered ‘What in the world!’”  Terri’s local eye doctor referred her to a specialist.  Without any tests to confirm a diagnosis, the specialist told her, “You have a brain tumor.”  Terri said she was devastated, but a CT scan and MRI were negative for a brain tumor.  

When she and her husband went back to the eye specialist with the good news, he responded with, “Then you have MS,” again with no tests to back up his words.  She said her husband told the specialist they would not be coming back.  Terri described the eye doctor’s bedside manner as “awful” and said she “left his office bawling—twice.”

After that, she went to doctors in Kansas City, looking for answers, begging them to “do something,” but there was nothing they could do.  She said, “I never even had eye drops.”  Her final diagnosis was optic neuritis, an inflammation of the optic nerve, but the cause was never determined.  Stress?  Birth control pills?  One doctor even suggested her hair was too long and heavy!

Terri was only 35 years old when she lost her eyesight many years ago.  Her daughters were 4 and 7 years old at the time.  After her world turned dark, she said she stayed on the couch for two weeks, refusing to do anything.

For those two weeks, Jim worked during the day, came home and fixed supper, and made sure the girls had their baths.  Then one evening Jim told her, “I can’t say that I know how you feel, but I feel bad for you.  I don’t think you want me to raise these kids by myself.  So, you better get your ‘rear’ up and help me raise these kids!”  

She said that was enough to get her out of her slump—his words woke her up!  She had to learn to do everything without her eyesight, including cooking, cleaning, and more.  She also learned how to knit and weave baskets, and she keeps her house spotlessly clean and grows flowers outdoors in the summer!

Jim died of cancer on February 20, 2011, after they had been married for 31 years.  She spoke lovingly of Jim, stating they used to go fishing and take walks together after she lost her eyesight.  She said that when Jim turned 50, he bought a Harley motorcycle and they rode all over the state of Kansas together, describing it as “scary” at first, but adding “I trusted him.” 

Terri used to bowl on a team.  She said she started bowling rather than sitting around and feeling sorry for herself after she lost her eyesight.  She averaged 107, and her highest score was 179.  She missed having her name on a wall by 1 point—180 score is required.  Terri’s blindness did not hold her team back—their team went to State competition several years!  She said that she had to quit bowling a few years ago due to problems with her shoulder.

When asked how she bowled, she said she measured from the ball return.  She has a little light perception.  She said the gutter was a little darker than the alley, so she threw the ball accordingly.  She could not see the pins, and if pins were left standing, her friends told her which pins she needed to knock down.

During my first visit, I counted 24 baskets in Terri’s house that she had woven.  Unique, beautiful, quality work.  During my first visit, she showed me a country-blue scarf that she was working on, and during the second visit she pointed out a blue cloth on a table that she had also knitted, and she continues to knit!

Terri’s story has been astounding (unbelievable) to me as it may be to you.  But there is more to tell—too much to tell in one article.  So, stay tuned until next week for the “rest of the story,” as Paul Harvey would say, for “Candy Canes, Part II).  

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