Laugh Tracks in the Dust


This old aggie is having a little difficulty grasping the new meaning of AI. I’ve grown up with AI meaning artificial insemination — the “no bull” way to get a cow to have a calf.
The original AI came into being in agriculture back when I was still a fresh-faced elementary school youngster in the 1950s milking cows by hand, or later with a fancy Surge automatic milking machine, in a wooden 6-stanchion milk barn.
But, while the original application of AI is still going forward in animal production circles, and even in human reproduction, a new kind of AI is now all the rage. AI is shorthand for Artificial Intelligence.
When the new kind of AI first breeched my consciousness, I dismissed it as “silly.” Intelligence has to be real, not artificial. But, apparently, that is not the case. Computer whizzes and nerds have come up with “thinking computers” that can do some incredible things.
The one new application of Artificial Intelligence that caught my eye, and caught my fancy, is called by the rather benign acronym of ChatGPT. That stands for Chat Generative Pre-trained Transformer. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Here’s what Google has to say about ChatGPT. It was launched as a prototype on November 30, 2022, and quickly garnered attention for its detailed responses and articulate answers across many domains of knowledge. Following the release of ChatGPT by the company that created it, OpenAI, it was valued at $29 billion.
Continuing, although the core function of a chatbot is to mimic a human conversationalist, ChatGPT is versatile. For example, it has the ability to write and debug computer programs, to compose music, teleplays, fairy tales, and student essays; to answer test questions and to write poetry and song lyrics.
“Well,” says me to Milo, “What an easy way to write weekly columns. Collect my syndication fees and never have to think or hit a computer key.”
So, I acquired ChatCPT for a little of nuthin’ and gave it this verbal command: “Write a Milo Yield column.” Within minutes, this is the Milo Yield column it produced: “456rt7yuhijklm,;-09iouyghfrtfyghbjknm ,pojklhgrftybhjknmopihjgvrtfyghvbjnm./;’-=[]ewrsdfxcgvbzsderftygurtfyguhjil,kjhg5iuokpl;23erfgbhnm56yujk,8iol;.=[;’./-plok,m 09iujhgbvc87ytgfcx76trfdx5trdesxz9ijn 6yhjm0okm ujkm,eokmedf2w3edrfgvb7yuhb8ikjm8i9kol,0pol,23e4rfgb=[p;l,1234r5tghbnokijhnbgvcasdfgbn/.,mnbvcxzasdfghnjmk,l;.’[[[[]]]=p;lkol09ikjhu86ytgfdr53erfgv2qwa1qwsdxc4r5tfgb7uyghv 8ik,0pl,.-[p;.=][‘/[‘;p[=[piop[-=[pkl;m3w4erdthyjuiklhgfcdx/ “4rtgbhn7yhb 9iol,.-p;l., =[;./3edfc5rdx6tgfv7uhjn8ik,0pol,-p[;l.,=][‘/\][poiuytrewqasdfghjkl;;;;’/.,mnbvcxz6yhn9ikjn0okm3edc 2wsx-plk,m =[;./“
Well, quite obviously, I either need more training on how to use ChatGBT, or the program can’t write humorous aggie columns. I admit, I made it all up. So, I guess it’s back to the old tried and true mental game for me.
Seriously, ChatGBT is a real computer invention that is creating a lot of conversation — both pro and con — about its use and possible pitfalls.
Now, aggie news and notes from this week. These are real stories I read.
A lady in Chicago was arrested for misusing Covid relief funds to stealing a prodigious amount chicken wings being shipped to Chi-town schools. It was tons of chicken wings worth millions of dollars.
The story didn’t say how she disposed of so many chicken wings, but it’s safe to say she didn’t eat them all. Perhaps when she’s convicted of government fraud, her jailers will feed her a lot of her stolen chicken wings.
The news reports that Chinese scientists are bragging that they have created three genetically-manipulated dairy cows that can produce 18 tons of milk annually — that’s 37,000 pints per cow.
And that yield of milk production is more than double what the average cow in Britain produces, which is around 14,000 pints.
Chinese state media reports the calves were cloned from cows at different farms that have high milk production. And they also selected cows that have high fertility. China’s goal is to creating a herd of 1,000 of these “super cows”.
The scientists say that they will be saving the tissue from “super-cows” to clone more of them and produce their dream herd. China currently has 6.6 million cows — but is reliant on 70 per cent of dairy cow imports from overseas.”
Additional Chinese aggie news is that it has built a gigantic pig skyscraper that is home to 650,000 animals. One way or another, that’s a lot of pig dung.
And, in the good ol’ USA, not to be outdone, scientists have inserted an alligator gene into catfish that will make the fish live longer and be healthier. The story didn’t say whether the catfish will bite like an alligator. Sure hope not.
Words of wisdom for the week: “Life ain’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
Have a good ‘un.


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