Auction in rear-view mirror

Laugh Tracks in the Dust

Our big downsizing auction is now in our rear-view mirror. It was anything but big, money-wise, as far as auctions go, but it was big in the one respect that really mattered — we got rid of almost all our superfluous “stuff” that we didn’t need any more, had gotten the joy out of, and won’t have room for in our new home. So, we figger the auction a success in the big picture of our little universe.
Watching your possessions change hands during an auction is any interesting phenomenon. Country music singer Sammy Kershaw long ago recorded a song titled “Yard Sale” that has some lyrics that fit a downsizing auction, too. Here are a few of those excerpted lyrics: “
“Oh, they’re sortin’ through
What’s left of you and me.
Paying yard sale prices
For each golden memory.
Oh, I never thought
I’d ever live to see
The way they’re sorting through
What’s left of you and me.
…Well there goes the baby’s windup,
And the mirror from the hall.
I’d better take just one last look
Before they take it all.”
In my life, I’ve been to too many auctions looking for “buy bargains” to ever be critical of folks who did the same at our auction. But, as I watched folks tote off things I paid good money for long ago, it made me chuckle a bit to wonder what value I saw in the item when I bought it. All I can say is I hope they get as much use or enjoyment out of their newly acquired item as I did.
Judging from our auction, nobody really buys used furniture these days. I’m left to guess that folks put a premium on buying only new furniture. Which leads me to this observation: We won’t be insuring the contents of our new home for nearly as much as we have the contents of our current home insured for. In the future, it only makes sense to insure the six major appliances — refrigerator, deep freezer, stove, washer, clothes dryer, and dish washer — and a few thousand bucks for all the rest of the contents. If disaster strikes, you can replace all your other furniture at substantially less than new price.
Reflecting on it all, it’s rather refreshing to face the future with an updated slate of possessions. That said, just this morning at the Old Geezers’ Breakfast Club, I acquired my first extraneous new possession.  I got a brand new one-piece bread toaster — for free. It was a good way to start our new collection of “ new stuff.”
Before I quit the auction report completely. One item that didn’t sell is the fiberglass pickup truck bed cover. It fit the bed of my long-departed 1997 Ford F-150. I will give it to anyone who will come get it. Just give me a call at 620-344-1350 if you’re interested.
Our new home is gradually nearing completion. The builders are mostly working on the shelving, the lighting, the bathroom tiling, and installation of plumbing fixtures. It will nip and tuck to see if we still get to move the first week of October.
I regularly mention my wildlife encounters at Damphewmore Acres. Well, after the last one, I can assure that the world’s strongest raccoon recently showed up here. One evening, I discovered an old hen had gone to chicken heaven. It was too late in the day to bury her carcass in the compost pile, so I placed it under a 20 gallon stainless water tank that weighs at least 25 pounds. I figgered to compost her the next morning.
Alas, I had not figgered on King Kong Raccoon. The next morning I drove my UTV to the chicken house and, “Whoa,” I discovered the stainless steel tank had been slid at least 30 feet into the middle of the driveway. And, it was overturned and the hen carcass long gone. Only the dusty tracks of King Kong Raccoon told the tale. I wish I could have seen how it moved the heavy tank and how it overturned it for a chicken dinner. It would have been an interesting sight.
I’m always thinking about ways to make a quick buck easily. After watching TV for decades, I think I’ve hit upon a new money-making scheme. I want to be paid to come up with new names for new prescription medicines. Now, the pharmaceutical companies pay big bucks for expensive public relations companies to come up with the weirdest new medical names — like Zulaxid. Penctil, Ovyvara, Kydatid, Jalepto, Bedenyx, Peqavi, Kyrolen, Viagra, Cialis, Eliquis, Jevtana, Xgeva, and Ozempic, as examples.
Well, I can do job just as good and for a lot less money. I will build a “Medico-Dart Board” with lots of the letters Q, Z, J, X, and V. There will be fewer of the letters B, C, D, F, G, K, M, P, and W. The rest of the alphabet will have just a smattering of letters on my “Medico-Dart Board.”
When a pharmaceutical company needs a new medicine name, all it will have to do is tell me how many letters it wants in the name. Then, for a cool, but cheap, $10,000, I’ll go to my “Medico-Dart Board” and throw the proper number of darts. Voila, a new medicine will be named at a fraction of the current cost — which means the med can be sold to us much cheaper.
Two more good friends went to the Great Beyond this week. One friend and former co-worker died in Puyallup, Wash. The second was a current neighbor lady. Both were good folks who will be missed. RIP.
My words of wisdom for the week are from Christopher Parker: “Procrastination is like a credit card. It’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.”
Have a good ‘un.


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