Folks, during this spate of seemingly unending days of over-the-century-mark daily temperatures and oven-like southwest winds coupled with sauna-like humidity, the little drab of rain we got at Damphewmore Acres last week was quickly soaked up and usurped into oblivion by the desperate vegetation.
I’ve abandoned all my remaining garden except for the tomatoes and sweet potatoes. And, even those crops are stressed in spite of my conscientious watering.
And all this blast furnace weather is catching ol’ Nevah and me as we’re preparing for a downsizing auction and a subsequent move into our new home.
We’re continuing to sift and sort stuff to keep and stuff to move. I’ve been using the early morning hours to empty out the outbuildings, moving items for sale into the yard close to the house. By nine o’clock, I’ve been sweat drenched and move indoors to the basement for the rest of the day. So far, the basement is still comfortably cool for our downsizing efforts.
I can report that in spite of the searing temperatures the house builders have continued to progress nicely. The exterior of our new home in virtually complete. The interior has been painted and some of the flooring installed.
The electric company that we had trouble with for so long has got the home metered finally and, in a noticeable change of attitude, now sends us emails telling us how happy it is to have us as new customers. Now that we have electricity, the well driller can hopefully get the pump installed soon and get us water.
All in all, we could use a respite from the heat and humidity. We might get a break this weekend. But, the forecast is for more of the same most of next week.
***
In going through a pile of old accumulated papers yesterday, I ran across “A Farmer’s Prayer.” Even though the prices reflect how prices were before decades of inflation, the gist of the prayer is as accurate today as it was when I collected the paper. Here it is:
“Dear God, give me the patience and wisdom to understand why a pound of steak at $2.50 is high, but a three-ounce cocktail at $2.50 is okay. And, Lord, help me to understand why $4.00 for a movie is not bad, but $4.00 for bushel of wheat that makes fifty loaves of bread is unreasonable. A $1.00 coke at a ball game is okay, but a 50-cent glass of milk is inflationary. Cotton is too high at 50-cents a pound, but a $25 shirt is a bargain. Corn is too steep at 3-cents worth in a box of corn flakes. but the flakes are sold for $1.50 per serving. While you are at it, Dear God, please help me understand the consumer who drives by my field and raises his eyebrows in consternation when he sees me drive a $40,000 tractor that he helped put together in the factory so he could make money and drive down that right-of-way they took away from me to build a road so he could go hunting. Thank you God, for your past guidance. I hope you can help me make sense out of all of this and please, God, send sufficient rain.”
***
In the same pile of old paper from decades ago, I also found this modern way to price a milking Holstein cow. It’s old, and the prices quaint, but still humorous.
“A farmer had been taken to the cleaner several times by the local car dealer. One day the car dealer informed the farmer that he wanted to purchase a Holstein milk cow from him. The farmer priced his unit as follows:
BASIC COW: $499.96
Shipping and Handling: $36.76
Extra Stomach: $79.26
Two-tone Exterior: $142.10
Deluxe Produce Storage Compartment: $128.50
Heavy-duty Straw Chopper: $189.60
Four-spigot, High Out-put Drain System: $149.20
Automatic Fly Swatter: $88.50
Genuine Cowhide Upholstery: $179.90
Premium Dual Horns: $9.26
Automatic Fertilizer Attachment: $339.40
4×4 Traction Drive Assembly: $884.18
Pre-delivery Wash and Comb: $69.80
……………………
Farmer’s Suggested List Price: $2846.38
Additional Dealer Adjustments: $300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including Options): $3,146.38
Tax and Ear Tag: $418.00
TOTAL FINAL PRICE: $3561.38
***
After watching the first political debate leading to the 2024 election, these words of popped into my head: “Politicians should be like sports arenas. They should wear blazers emblazoned with stickers with the names of their donors who are paying their way and buying their favors.”
Have a good ‘un.
