The United Kingdom of Great Britain has been responsible for exporting many significant ideas and objects around the world during their long and colorful past. Many of our important breeds of cattle and sheep originated there as did tabloid and smutty journalism you find on the shelves in our supermarkets. Immigrants from Great Britain settled the new world and many of us could trace our heritage to the land across the Big Pond. I, for instance, had a great grandfather who was half Scotch, at certain times of the day that is. Yet it seems incongruous to me that peaceful Great Britain gave the world the violence of boxing and rock music but also the innocence and gullibility of animal rights.
The United Kingdom has shared its colorful language with the world and today English is spoken virtually everywhere, except most metropolitan American cities. And from the language of Shakespeare and Benny Hill sprang some of the world’s great literature… of which I recently discovered an example.
Lords and ladies, I assure the following story is true, occurring in the year 1978. That was the year, you may or may not recall (probably not), of the fireman’s strike in Great Britain. A labor strike, I am told, is not an uncommon occurrence in merry Old England.
So when Muffy’s cat got caught in the neighbor’s tree and she rang on the telly to the fire department for them to come and get the cat down, the British Army responded to the call instead. Valiantly the British Army had taken over the emergency fire fighting duties and other responsibilities of the striking fire fighters. So when the Army was called to the elderly lady’s home in the South of London to retrieve her tabby, they did it with typical British military flair and efficiency.
Three trucks arrived overflowing with soldiers in full military regalia and a crowd gathered to watch the maneuvers. “Thank ‘evins, you’ve come,” cried Muffy. Her own feeble attempts to herd the cat from the tree had failed miserably. Evidently it never dawned on her that if the cat got up the tree by itself it could also get down of its own accord.
But with impressive haste the soldiers hoisted the ladder and in a matter of moments they discharged their duty making possible one of the great animal rescues of all time.
The rescue was so successful, and the elderly owner of the cat was so pleased with the results, that she invited the cat’s rescuers in for tea and biscuits. It seems that Muffy was a member of London’s Dumb Friends League, which is similar to our Humane Society. So naturally, Muffy invited her fellow club members over to the house to share in the cat’s salvation. The members of the Dumb Friends League no doubt cared dearly for all animals and their gratitude to the soldiers seemed genuine enough.
After the mirth and merriment of the moment had subsided the soldiers bid adieu to the elderly lady and the adoring crowd. Backing out the driveway they proceeded to run over the cat and kill it.
