The Non-Buying Bidder
“How Are You? Does Midwestern Politeness Get In The Way?”
Midwest Culture is unique. We “America’s Heartlanders” are known for our outdoor hobbies, farming, winter survival strategies, hard work and country living. We are also known for our politeness. It is at times an autopilot response to hold a door open, greet another with a smile, drop off treats for a neighbor or when running into someone familiar ask, “how are you?” How often have we asked, “how are you” and heard the answer, “good” or “fine” or even answered this question ourselves this way.
Unfortunately, “Midwestern Polite” has also created a belief that if we truly answer the question, “how are you” with honesty, we are burdening others. For this reason, we often answer “good” or “fine” when maybe in fact, we are not. This is called passive communication. Passive Communication is when we do not express our feelings or needs, do not believe our feelings or needs matter equally to others, or often we find ourselves apologizing for things. Overtime this passive communication style often leads to misunderstanding, anger or even resentment.
This is where it is vital for us to understand emotional and social wellness skills. To learn that every single one of us as humans has feelings and that this is normal. The more we ignore these feelings the more we impact our overall health.
Having the skills to be able to truly answer the question, how are you, requires emotional wellness skills. The skills of recognizing one’s feelings, understanding those feelings, labeling them, expressing them and regulating them. This skill, known as the “RULER” skill is an acronym for the five evidence-based skills of emotional intelligence (recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating) founded by psychologist Marc Brackett out of Yale University. This skill is not a skill we are born with. This skill provides a sense of understanding and control of what is going on within us. Emotional wellness skills aid in our overall ability to manage stress, communicate effectively and manage conflict which supports our overall physical wellness.
So, the next time a kind Midwesterner asks, “How Are You?” I encourage you to be honest. I encourage you to use the skills of checking in to recognize how you really are feeling, labeling it and expressing it to that person asking. The other wonderful value we South Dakotans have is showing up for one another. We are not a burden. We are wonderful Midwestern neighbors who show up for each other. Let’s continue to work on defining and modeling that “Midwest Nice” as honest and authentic support.
Nikki Eining CSW-PIP, QMHP Outpatient Clinical Mental Health Therapist Avera Medical Group Behavioral Health Brookings Clinic in Brookings, SD. Follow The Prairie Doc® at www.prairiedoc.org and on Facebook featuring On Call with the Prairie Doc® a medical Q&A show based on science, built on trust for 21 seasons, streaming live on Facebook most Thursdays at 7 p.m. central.
Three Steps to Choosing Potting Media for Outdoor Use
I have had several questions this spring on potting soils and how to choose the best potting media. Dr. Cheryl Boyer, our Nursery Crop and Marketing Specialist, has done extensive studies on potting soils and has written the following to help homeowners make a good choice. We will present her material is three parts or steps with one step each week.
Step 1: What are You Using it For?
Step 2: Understanding Major, Minor, and Specialty Components
Step 3: Mixing and Managing
So, here is this week’s post.
There are a lot of choices in the potting media aisle of your local garden center. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, it can be a confusing experience to read the label. Fortunately, there are three easy steps/considerations for screening the available choices down to one that works for your needs.
Step 1: What are You Using it For?
It does make a difference whether you are planning to use media in a container or as a soil amendment in a raised vegetable bed or landscaping bed. Some materials are designed to hold water well while others are designed to drain well. What do you need for each of those situations?
- Growing plants in containers: Generally, you want to use a peat-based soil-less substrate for this application. Do not use field soil. These products are engineered for success in season-long growth of annual plants in containers of reasonable size for consumer use (very large containers are a different discussion). Peat-based mixes almost always have a “starter charge” of fertilizer mixed in to get your plants growing, but you’ll need to supplement with fertilizer as the season progresses. Old potting media has likely lost its starter charge and may, in fact, become hydrophobic (repels water) over time. You’ll need to spend some time rewetting and mixing old potting media for a new season if you intend to re-use it.
- Amending a landscape bed or raised bed: Products containing peat should not be the primary component but are acceptable in small quantities. Field soil mixed with compost and perhaps a coarse pine bark-size material is best in this situation. The objective is to enrich your existing soil with natural material that will break down over time and in the meantime provide nutrients and aeration for roots to grow well. Make sure to apply the material and mix/till it into a broad area and not just a single planting hole or your new plants may experience the “soup bowl effect” and succumb to rapid decline. Check with your local landscape contractor to get a large volume of soil delivered, perhaps even mixed with compost from a local municipal composting facility. Cheryl Boyer, Extension Agent
Time to Fertilize Warm Season Grasses
Tne is the time to fertilize warm-season lawn grasses such as bermudagrass, buffalograss, and zoysiagrass. These species all thrive in warmer summer weather, so this is the time they respond best to fertilization. The most important nutrient is nitrogen (N), and these three species need it in varying amounts.
Bermuda grass requires the most nitrogen. Bermudagrass used on athletic fields needs about 4 lbs. nitrogen per 1,000 sq. ft. during the season. High-quality home lawns are often given 3 pounds per 1000 square feet and low maintenance areas can get by on 2 lbs.. Apply this as separate applications, about 4 weeks apart consisting of 1 lb. N per 1,000 sq. ft. starting in early May for athletic fields. It is already too late for the May application, but the June application is just around the corner. The nitrogen can come from either a quick- or slow-release source. So any lawn fertilizer will work. Plan the last application for no later than August 15. This helps ensure the bermudagrass is not overstimulated, making it susceptible to winter-kill.
Zoysiagrass grows more slowly than bermudagrass and is prone to develop thatch. Consequently, it does not need as much nitrogen. In fact, too much is worse than too little. One and one-half to 2 pounds N per 1,000 sq. ft. during the season is sufficient. Split the total in two and apply once in early June and again around mid-July. Slow-release nitrogen is preferable but quick-release is acceptable. Slow-release nitrogen is sometimes listed as “slowly available” or “water insoluble.”
Buffalograss requires the least nitrogen of all lawn species commonly grown in Kansas. It will survive and persist with no supplemental nitrogen, but giving it one lb. N per 1,000 sq. ft. will improve color and density. This application should be made in early June. For a little darker color, fertilize it as described for zoysiagrass in the previous paragraph, but do not apply more than a total of 2 lb. N per 1,000 sq. ft. in one season. As with zoysia, slow-release nitrogen is preferable, but fast-release is also OK. As for all turfgrasses, phosphorus and potassium are best applied according to soil test results because many soils already have adequate amounts of these nutrients for turfgrass growth. If you need to apply phosphorus or potassium, it is best to core aerate beforehand to ensure the nutrients reach the roots.
Ward Upham, Extension Agent
FRUIT – Thinning Excess Fruit
Thinning fruit is beneficial to trees for multiple reasons. A heavy fruit crop one year can inhibit the fruit growth the following year and may prevent a harvest altogether. Thinning fruit can also direct the tree’s stored energy to the remaining fruit allowing it to fully mature and grow larger. Third, allowing tree branches to become overloaded with fruit can lead to branches breaking.
The amount of thinning that should be done depends on the type of fruit tree. These recommendations are general guidelines to allow proper fruit development.
Apples and pears: Fruit should be six to eight inches apart leaving only the largest, nicest fruit in each cluster.
Peaches: Fruit should be six to eight inches apart with only one fruit per cluster.
Plums and Prunes: Fruit should be four to five inches apart.
Apricots: Fruit should be two to four inches apart.
Cherries: No thinning required
Thinning can be done using pruners to clip off the fruit or by snapping them off by hand. Use caution to support the fruit as you snap to avoid breaking the branch. \
Cynthia Domenghini, Extension Agent






