Once I get started with Aggie Limericks, I just keep going. So, here are a few more. Hope you get a chuckle out of some of them.
It seems that everyone wants to buy rural land for everything but farming and ranching. So, here’s a couple of limericks about that.
A wealthy Wichita insurance man
Had a scheme and a glorious plan.
He’d buy all the farms,
And refurbish the barns.
And have rustic B&Bs clear to Sedan.
A Colorado rancher named Brown
Bought land by the acre and pound.
But age and senility
Increased his liability.
And now his assets in town
***
Springtime is the time for young love. So, here’s a limerick about that.
Said a girl to her boyfriend named Enos,
“I’m afraid that my father has seen us.”
“I am, too,” said her beau,
“And I hope he does know,
That your mother is sitting between us.”
***
Dietitians recommend eating beans for the fiber. But, there is a problem with eating beans. Here’s a limerick about that.
A robust rural fellow named Bart,
Had a favorite food, t’wasn’t smart.
He’d stretch out his jeans,
With a big bait of beans.
And then indigestion would start. (fooled you)
***
Spring is the favorite time of the year for horse folks. It’s when colts are born and mares need special care. It’s also when attention focuses on the upcoming Kentucky Derby and the Triple Crown races. Here are two limericks about that.
An absent-minded horseman named Wayne
Forgot to keep using his brain.
His mare he let founder
T’was his fault, no gettin’ round ‘er.
Lame-brain Wayne fed his mare too much grain.
A wealthy beer-swilling horseman named Billy.
Foolishly paid a million bucks for a filly.
Who, when put on the track,
Threw her jockey from her back.
Yep, that filly drove poor Billy silly.
***
If spring rains don’t quench the ongoing drought, then we can expect a summer with more insect pests threatening crops. Killing insect pests is getting more difficult because of more stringent regulations on insecticides. So, here’s a limerick about that.
Said farmer Jones, with his mouth agape,
Watching grasshoppers pillage and rape,
“If we’re unable to spray them,
Then I trust, and I pray then.
The EPA will kill ‘em with red tape.”
***
We’re spending all this week getting prepared for our huge garage/yard sale this weekend. Next week, I’ll give a report about how the sale went.
So, I’ll close for this week, with several words of wisdom.
Do you know what a “Texas Longhorn” speech is? It’s two main points with a lot of bull in between.
The U.S. dollar is beginning to smell like a fire hydrant at an international dog convention.
And, inflation has put the two-paycheck family in the same soup as the one paycheck family was two-generations ago.
Have a good ‘un.
