Friday, January 30, 2026
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Geez I’m glad we don’t have those in Kansas

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I’m always raving about all the wildlife and outdoor adventures we have here in Kansas, but much like an inverse bucket list, there are also things I’m glad we DON’T have here. The other night I watched a TV show about the Florida Everglades. The host of the show was there to try and catch a monster everglades bull shark, and as sort of a rite-of-passage, his local guides made him first swim with alligators and then help them catch a huge python snake which are an invasive species to the everglades and are wreaking havoc with its fragile ecosystem. I used to trap muskrats in the McPherson Valley wetlands just outside Inman, which involves wading around in marshes of cattails and marsh grass that look a little like areas of the Everglades. I’m eternally grateful I don’t have to keep my eyes peeled for gators and pythons; geez, I’m glad we don’t have those in Kansas.

I think Joyce and I must have been storm chasers in a previous life; when the tornado sirens blare and the TV weathers guys are yellin’ at us to get in our storm cellars or go to the basement, we’re bustin’ out lawn chairs and watching for the twister, despite the devastation they can cause. Some of the memories I’ll take with me to the grave are pictures and news footage showing all the absolute devastation caused by the hurricanes recently in North Carolina and Florida. So as much as I’d like to own some oceanfront property here in Kansas, I’ll take the occasional tornado that can wipe out parts of towns along its way over a hurricane or tsunami that can wipe out the entire state; geez I’m glad we don’t have those in Kansas.

Dad had a place in a nice “snowbird park” in Mesa Arizona, and one of the activities he enjoyed was picking oranges, lemons and grapefruits with other guys from the park. The Mesa and Scottsdale areas are havens for citrus fruit trees. There are acres of commercial orange groves within the Mesa city limits, plus many homeowners have citrus trees in their backyards like homeowners in Kansas have apple, apricot and pear trees. And like homeowners here, many people don’t want or use most of the citrus fruit from those trees. Each February a crew of guys from dad’s park would go one day each week and pick unwanted fruit for homeowners, then bag the fruit and take it back to the park and put it out for any residents who want it. Many of the homeowners even gave the guys gas money for picking and taking their unwanted fruit. It was a win-win deal all the way around, but the homeowners there seemed much more serious about getting rid of their unwanted oranges, lemons and grapefruit than homeowners here are about getting rid of their unwanted fruit, and I often wondered why. I found out it’s because of a rodent called a “roof rat.”

Roof rats are also known as black rats (but are not really black) and are slightly distinguished from other rats by the length of their tails which are longer than their bodies. Roof rats are historically thought to be the vermin that spread the Plague or Black Death during the Middle Ages. They were first noticed in the Phoenix AZ area in 2001, and have become a problem throughout the area because fresh fruit and especially citrus fruit is their favorite meal. I found a website maintained by Maricopa County AZ, which contains the cities of Phoenix, Scottsdale and Mesa, called www.roofrat.net. Its mission statement reads “To help neighborhoods work, donate quality fruit and eradicate roof rats.” On a list of roof rats preferred foods, the top 6 were citrus fruits, which according to the website they will even eat off the tree. To help eradicate roof rats, the website urges homeowners to “Promptly and completely pick all

fruit (ripe or not) on citrus and other fruit and nut trees and pick up all fallen fruit every season.” I was told that Scottsdale residents may even incur a hefty fine for not doing so. Roof rats nest in attics, hedges and even in trees.

Maybe writing this column was a lesson in just how good we Kansans have it compared to some other states. Yes, we have ticks and brown spiders which both require our respect. We have earth shattering thunderstorms and tornados, but not hurricanes. We have bull snakes, rat snakes and the occasional prairie rattler, but not gators and pythons. We have mice, rats and pack rats (which can be a problem if not discovered,) but not roof rats to eat the fruit off our trees and infest our neighborhoods. Geez I’m glad we don’t have those in Kansas!

Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected].

Spooky Stories of Kansas

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It is that time of year, when all the ghosts, superheroes, and other costumes come out to play. The Halloween Season is upon us, and whether we like it or not, all of the festivities along with it. Although to be fair, I do enjoy seeing the kiddos so excited about something. In the true Spirit of Halloween, this article will take some time to look at the true spooky stories of the world around us. Now, whether you believe them or not is up to you, but it can still be pretty fun to see what kind of scary stories people can muster up in different regions of the places we live.

Around the Leavenworth area, there are a number of stories. As one of the most haunted towns in Kansas, Leavenworth is a part of the greater Kansas City metropolitan area, with a historic River Town atmosphere. The local hotel, built upon the bones of an old religious high school has plenty of stories to tell. Not to mention, around Fort Leavenworth, ghostly riders of Calvary legions have been spotted and interacted with for a long time.

Now, of course, we can’t talk about haunted Kansas without mentioning Atchison. One of these spooky places around the state, Atchison celebrates its haunting history every year. They offer haunted trolley tours throughout the town not to mention the infamous Sallie House. Stories of a young couple in the ’90s renting the house take a rather violent turn. The house is currently available for daytime visits or overnight stays. Although with all of the stories that I’ve read about it, I don’t think I would go within a block of the place after dark. The house is also been the scene of many different documentaries, and movies, although there are many accounts of cameras not working properly near the area.

Or perhaps you’re from the more urban scene of Wichita. I’ve heard lots of stories of haunted places to visit but one of the more known areas is the Drury Plaza Hotel. There are whispers of past guests being trapped in the walls, murmuring to you during your stay. Now, whether or not you actually witness anything is up for debate, but the location certainly has lots of historical significance to offer an inquisitive guest.

Now if it’s haunted buildings that you’re looking for, look no further than Topeka Kansas where the large abandoned church commonly nicknamed the “Church of the Damned” resides. The church was subject to many vandalism and graffiti until its fiery end. In 2013, the church caught flame and a pretty significant one at that. The church itself was featured on an episode of an A&E reality TV series for its uncanny ability to attract bad occurrences.

For those of you in the Hutchinson area, you know that there are plenty of abandoned and potentially haunted areas around town. One story that I particularly enjoyed was the story of the librarian Ida Day Holzapel, who moved here from California and became head librarian at the Hutchinson Public Library. Seems pretty standard right? Until she decided to take a librarian job back in California and died in an auto accident on the first day of her new job. Legend has it, that she still works at the Hutchinson Public Library. Straightening bookshelves, and silencing obnoxious individuals with a hush of the wind.

Overall, these scary stories aren’t intended for you to necessarily believe. But they are a part of our folklore, and after all, telling scary stories around the fireplace is one of our oldest traditions as human beings. And beyond that, they’re just awfully fun. Have a Happy Halloween!

Decoding cuss words

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Thayne Cozart
Milo Yield

Web: www.miloyield.com

This little story proves that there’s a lot that can be learned in the rural classroom — by students, teachers and administrators.

A second-grade boy, who wuz a rancher’s kid, started the school year with a new teacher. Before the first week of classes were over the lad’s teacher had sent him to the principal several times for using unseemly cuss words.

Finally, the principle decided to get to the bottom of the lad’s use of such profanity. “Where did you learn nasty words like the ones you’re using in class?” he asked the lad.

“From my father,” the lad innocently replied,

“Well, that’s surprising. But, at your tender young it’s still no reason for you to use them in school. I bet you don’t even know what those words mean.”

“I do, too,” the lad replied indignantly. “They mean the heifers are out of the pen again and are in with the bulls.”

***

A rural guy who seemed like a confirmed bachelor finally got married to a citified gal.

As the years passed, the wife tired of saying over and over again, “Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t take such big bites. Brush your teeth before you go to bed.”

Then, just when she thought she was finally got through with the training, along came the children!

***

Just when you think you’ve seen all the strange agricultural research going on in the world, you run across a true story like this one.

Here’s the gist of the research findings: “Using Artificial Intelligence to ‘decode’ the oinks and grunt of both free-range pigs and pigs in confinement, European researchers have developed an algorithm that when recorded and played for the pigs can keep them happier and more profitable.”

The scientists, from universities in Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, France, Norway and the Czech Republic, used thousands of recorded pig sounds in different scenarios, including play, isolation and competition for food, to find that grunts, oinks, and squeals reveal positive or negative emotions.

The algorithm demonstrated that pigs kept free-ranging outdoors with the ability to roam and dig in the dirt produced fewer stress calls than conventionally-raised pigs. Short grunts typically indicate positive emotions, while long grunts often signal discomfort, such as when pigs push each other by the trough. High-frequency sounds like screams or squeals usually mean the pigs are stressed, for instance, when they are in pain, fight, or are separated from each other.

The researchers believe that this method, once fully developed, could also be used to label farms, helping consumers make informed choices.

This research sounds goofy to me, but, I hope it works and didn’t cost too much.

***
Well, the election to determine our next president and congress is just around the corner. It’s a very important election. And, if you are like me, you’ve been inundated with all kinds of political “stuff,” from phone calls, to the mail box and the email box. All the “stuff” I’ve been sent, hasn’t changed my mind one whit. But, it’s been entertaining. So, I decided to include a sampling of just “stuff” contained in the political emails I’ve received in the last week. Here goes.

• “Tolerance will reach such a level that people will be banned from thinking, so as not to offend the imbeciles.” — Dostoevsky

• “The truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged.”

• “Idolizing a politician is like believing a stripper really likes you.”

• “No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.” — Mark Twain

• “If you want the truth, don’t ask me. If you want it sugarcoated, go eat a donut.”

• “I disagree with you. It doesn’t mean I dislike you or that I’m mad at you. It just means that I like you. I won’t treat you disrespectfully just because we share differing opinions. Give me the same respect.” — attributed to Clint Eastwood

• “Remember: when something goes wrong in the circus, they send in the clowns to distract the audience. Well, something has gone very wrong with the American political circus, and the clowns are everywhere.”

• “The Dunning-Kruger Effect is a type of cognitive bias where people with little expertise or ability assume they have superior expertise or ability. This overestimation occurs as a result of the fact that they don’t have enough knowledge to know they don’t have enough knowledge.”

• You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.” — attributed to Warren Buffett

• “Actions prove who someone is. Words just prove who they pretend to be.”

• “If it’s not yours, don’t take it. If it’s not right, don’t do it. If it’s not true, don’t say it. If you don’t know, shut up.”

• “The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the Axe, for the Axe was clever and convinced the Trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them.” — Turkish Proverb

• “The sheep will spend it’s entire life fearing the wolf, only to be eaten by the shepherd.” — African Proverb.

***

I urge everyone to vote in the election. Folks ask me how I’m going to vote. I tell them I’m going to vote to try to re-establish the kind of Constitutional Republic, not a pure democracy, that our Founding Fathers strived to create and warned us pointedly about losing. That is a nation based on freedom, limited government and wide spread distribution of wealth, property and power.”

***

Words of wisdom for the week: “Voting the same — and expecting change — makes as much sense as having manure on your jeans and changing your shirt.” Have a good ‘un.

 

Here Come the Hawks

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At breakfast this morning, a friend remarked about the number of hawks he recently saw covering a newly-cut soybean field. Ah, I thought, it’s time for the annual raptor migration through Kansas to begin.

I love watching hawks hunt and I love observing how they’ve learned to interact with farm equipment as it rolls across fields and stirs up rodents and small birds that scurry about and often end up as a snack for the hawk. Our raised deer blind overlooks a grass waterway that grows up in giant sunflowers and pigweed by summer’s end, becoming a nice secure travel way for deer, but making them hard to spot during hunting season. I try to mow that area every fall, and every year as I mow the last swath of thick weedy cover, fat field mice scatter everywhere and I think to myself “Man, could the hawks be feasting here!” A few years back I happened by a nearby field of soybeans being cut. What caught my eye was the enormous number of hawks all around the field, just as exactly as my friend had described; I counted to thirty-some then lost count. I rolled into the field and talked with one of the combine drivers about the hawks. He said they had suddenly appeared as if from nowhere when they started cutting and had been there since. The soybean plants were extra tall and thick that year, and as they ripened and dropped their foliage, it left several inches of duff covering the ground between the rows; perfect cover for field mice and rats looking for warm concealment. As the combines lumbered through the field, they forced all those rodents from their cozy quarters and the hawks were feasting.

Each year about this time, we begin to see an extraordinary number of hawks of all varieties as they migrate south toward warmer climates. The extent of our Kansas winter will largely determine whether they stay here for a spell or move on south, and our milder-than-normal winters of late have been a huge draw to migrating hawks. The hawks I observed hunting the soybean stubble field that year, and the ones my friend observed lately were obviously migrants that were getting a good meal whether they stayed or not. The vast acreages of new wheat fields will be a huge draw too, as mice, voles and insects become vulnerable to the hawk’s keen eyes in the short new wheat. Another plus is the type of air currents and thermals that blow through the plains states. North winds coming down from Canada are utilized by all types of hawks, saving them precious energy by being able to soar. So in summary, the mild winters, the open fields and the beneficial wind currents all make Kansas a popular place to see hawks of many varieties this time of year.

One common hawk we see here every winter is the Northern Harrier. They are large hawks with wide white bands across their broad square tails and are often seen gliding effortlessly mere feet above CRP fields and pastures. We also get an influx of Red Tails from northern states as they come here for our milder winters. Swainson Hawks on their way to Argentina stop in Kansas by the thousands. Rough-Legged Hawks migrate from Canada to the western US, including Kansas. Ferruginous Hawks may be seen here as they travel from Western Kansas to parts of the South Eastern US and to Florida. All these truly make for a kaleidoscope of raptors in our Kansas sky.

This article wouldn’t be complete without emphasizing the important role raptors play in our agricultural environment. Raptors get blamed for everything from low pheasant and quail populations to stealing chickens and everything in between. Yes, we all know that hawks and especially owls will steal a chicken or two given the chance, but in actuality, hawks prey on mice, rats, snakes and possums that eat quail and pheasant eggs and newly hatched young. (FYI, feral and stray cats are the worst predators alive for killing young game birds and song birds.) Owls are huge rat and mice hunters and also eat skunks that carry rabies. If not for these raptors in our midst, rodent populations would devastate farmer’s crops and our environment as a whole. And for the record, killing a raptor of any kind is illegal in Kansas!

You can’t go afield this time of year without spotting hawks silently hunting low over patches of CRP and milo stalks, waiting patiently atop power poles for prey to reveal themselves or putting on shows of acrobatic excellence as they soar above us on the fall breezes. I once overheard a raptor rehabilitator tell someone “We as humans have encroached on them, so the least we can do is let them live with us.” Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors!

Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected]

Leftover Pumpkins

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Pumpkins make lovely decorations but when the season comes to an end, they
can become a wasteful problem. After Halloween many people toss their pumpkins and gourds into the garbage where they are later routed to the landfill. The lack of oxygen in the mounds of garbage prevents organic matter from breaking down. Consequently, the
pumpkins contribute to the problem of overflowing landfills.

If you’re not able to compost in your own yard, look for a communal location. Many cities have a site where green waste can be discarded. In Kansas there are arboretums and other
sites that specifically accept pumpkins in November. They will take care of the composting for you to minimize landfill waste.

Some farms accept pumpkin donations after the season to use as a feed source for their animals. However, if you treated your pumpkins, such as with bleach, wax or paint, they should not be fed to animals due to the risk of toxicity. Check the restrictions for pumpkin donations to protect the health of the animals.