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Laugh tracks in the dust

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Thayne Cozart
Milo Yield

I’m starting this column on the evening of the full moon — and it’s beautiful on this cool, crisp autumn night. Our view of the heavens and the skies out here in God’s country are wonders to behold.

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Folks, I think ol’ Nevah and I have moved into the upper echelons of rural society — thanks to our now having HIS and HER riding lawn mowers. Nevah has the new lawnmower and I have the old one. She also lays ownership to the newest car and I have the two old pickups. However, I have the only tractor and WE have the ATV. I think it’s a rather typical marriage in these respects.

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The garden is kaput! After the killing frost, I finished it off for the year. Of interest is the fact that we harvested nearly a bushel of sweet potatoes from only two plants. One of the yams wuz the size of a football.

The final crop wuz lima beans and cowpeas. The limas and the cowpeas have been producing since mid-August and combined with the dried green beans and pole beans that I shelled, we’ve got plenty for ham and beans this winter.

This has been one of the most successful gardening years in recent memory. The sweet corn, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, green beans and dry beans were record crops. Plus, we’ve got a few frozen peas, canned carrots and frozen okra to devour at our pleasure. The onion crop wuz just so-so and it’s already gone into salsa, etc.

The apple crop wuz pretty poor, but we harvested all we wanted to can and freeze. Plus, thanks to our generous neighbors, we have plenty of canned pears and peaches.

And, the best part is that we had such a bountiful garden that we were able to share lots of it to our family and friends. It just goes to show that timely rains can be as beneficial as plentiful rains.

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We’ve got a problem with a black and white “stinky kitty” here at Damphewmore Acres. There’s a skunk hanging around our home and barns, but we only see it at night and in locations where I dare not dispatch it without putting ourselves in a position of smelling “skunky” around the premises for much of the winter.

I know it’s only a matter of time until Mr. Skunk burrows into the chicken house and enjoys a chicken dinner. So, my hope is that I can catch the skunk away from the buildings some evening and do away with it there. I’ll just have to be patient and wait for an opportune time.

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I heard a cute, true story that happened decades ago, back in the mid-1900s, shortly after tractors made the farm scene and replaced horsepower.

It seems there wuz a cute young single farm gal in the neighborhood who developed a secret crush on one of the up-and-coming farmers in the community. But, the farmer had no idea that the gal had her sights on him.

As it happened, the farmer had to frequently drive his new tractor on the road right past the young gal’s home. Over time, the gal learned what the farmer’s tractor engine sounded like coming down the road.

So, the gal kept her ears tuned in for the farmer’s “tractor sound” and when she heard his tractor coming her way, she always “happened” to be sweeping the dirt from her front porch and always smiled broadly and waved vigorously when the

“light of her heart” drove buy.

And, you know what? Her romantic ploy worked. Eventually, the gal “swept” her swain off his feet and into her life. They’ve been happily married ever since.

***

Thanks to R & R in Colorado for this story. An aggie public speaker, ol’ Makin Lafz, is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men’s room. He finds a stall that happens to be open and pockets the quarter.

Believing that his luck has finally changed, Makin puts the quarter in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his modest winnings into a million dollars.

Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Makin increases his bookings and fees and he always tells his audience his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he will always be eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man, he will share his fortune with him.

After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, “I’m that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter.”

Makin eyes the man closely and sez, “Yes, I remember you well, but you aren’t the one I’m looking for. I am looking for the guy who left the stall door open!”

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The airways are mercifully devoid of all those irritating negative political ads. It will be interesting to see if the majority party can and will do constructive things for our blessed nation, or if they will mess up their opportunity. I’m hopeful, but not particularly optimistic.

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I’ll close with some wise words about gambling. Hunter Thompson said, “There are many harsh lessons to be learned from gambling, but the harshest one is learning the difference between having fun and being smart.” I agree. Have a good ‘un.

 

Local food and farm task force to meet

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CHRIS NEAL / THE CAPTIAL-JOURNAL
CHRIS NEAL / THE CAPTIAL-JOURNAL
The Local Food and Farm Task Force will meet at 10 a.m. on Friday, November 14, 2014 for their first organizational meeting. The meeting will be held at the Kansas Department of Agriculture (KDA), 1320 Research Park Drive, Manhattan, Kansas 66502.

MANHATTAN, Kan. – The Local Food and Farm Task Force will meet at 10 a.m. on Friday, November 14, 2014 for their first organizational meeting. The meeting will be held at the Kansas Department of Agriculture (KDA), 1320 Research Park Drive, Manhattan, Kansas 66502.

This task force was established with the passage of SB 286 in the 2014 session of the Kansas Legislature.  The Task Force is responsible for preparing a local food and farm plan containing policy and funding recommendations in order to increase locally grown food production.

The Task Force is composed of seven members, three, including the chairman, are appointed by Gov. Sam Brownback.  The task force members are as follows: Ron Brown, Ft. Scott, Kansas;  David Coltrain, Garden City, Kansas;  Loren Swenson, Concordia, Kansas; Sen. Dan Kerschen, Garden Plain, Kansas;  Rep. Adam Lusker, Frontenac, Kansas; Cary L. Rivard, Olathe, Kansas and Annarose (Hart) White, Wellington, Kansas. This task force will sunset on Dec. 31, 2015.

Brown has being appointed to serve as chairperson. He is self-employed on his family farm and currently serves as an executive board member for the National Association of Conservation Districts.

The staff of the KDA will provide assistance as requested by the task force and will facilitate the organization and start-up of the task force.

The meeting is open to the public. A break for lunch is scheduled and will be provided for appointed members of the task force.

Individuals who have questions regarding the meeting should contact KDA marketing director, Kerry Wefald at [email protected] for more information. Persons who require special accommodations must make their needs known at least two days prior to the meeting.

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WHO: Local Food and Farm Task Force

WHAT: Organizational Meeting

WHEN: Friday, November 14, 2014 10 a.m.

WHERE:  Kansas Department of Agriculture, 1320 Research Park Drive, Manhattan, Kansas 66502

Women in Ag Survey: Gauging the aspirations and needs of women in agriculture

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WASHINGTON, D.C., November 7, 2014 – The American Farm Bureau Women’s Leadership Program has launched “Women in Ag,” an online survey that aims to gauge the goals, aspirations, achievements and needs of women in American agriculture in a number of different areas.

 

All women who are farmers, ranchers, farm/ranch employees, employed in agricultural businesses, pursuing ag-related higher education or supportive of agriculture in other ways are invited to participate in the survey at womeninag.fb.org.  Respondents must reside in the United States. Farm Bureau membership is not required to participate.

 

“This comprehensive survey is the first of its kind to ask women in-depth questions about how they are connected to agriculture and what leadership skills they think are most important today, as well as the top business challenges they’re facing,” said Terry Gilbert, a Kentucky farmer and chair of the American Farm Bureau Women’s Leadership Committee.  “All women involved in agriculture – not just Farm Bureau members – are invited to participate in the survey,” Gilbert emphasized.

 

Data collected from respondents will be used to gauge trends related to the achievements of women in agriculture, including leadership positions, business successes and election to public office.

 

The AFB Women’s Leadership Committee is sponsoring the survey and is working with other farm and agriculture organizations to encourage participation. Participants will be eligible for an opportunity to win one of five $100 gift cards after the survey closes. Preliminary findings from the survey will be released in February 2015 at AFBF’s FUSION Conference in Nashville, Tennessee; the full report will be released in late spring.

 

Women’s soccer season ends in Region VI Semifinals with 1-0 loss to No. 9 Hutchinson

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The Barton Community College women’s soccer team season ended where it has for the past three seasons, the Region VI Semifinals at Topeka’s Hummer Park.   The Lady Cougars held No. 9 Hutchinson Community College scoreless Thursday for fifty-seven minutes until the Blue Dragons broke through at 32:52 remaining and held on for the 1-0 victory.   The loss ended the season for the fifth seeded Lady Cougars at 9-7-3 while the top seeded Blue Dragons improve to 15-1-1 and move on to the Region VI Championship at noon Friday against 14-4-3 Butler Community College.

Barton had numerous opportunities in first half action, three of those coming in consecutive corner kicks.  The Blue Dragons also had their fair share with their main threat coming with just seconds remaining on a defensive miscue but goalkeeper Kacee Walsh made one of her numerous saves on the day to keep the game scoreless.

In games where the smallest of missteps can result in a big difference maker, the Blue Dragons finally capitalized on a Barton miscue.  Unable to advance the ball upfield, Jen Rogers intercepted the Barton pass and launched from outside the 18′.  An alert Walsh deflected the blast but unfortunately for the Lady Cougars, the shot rebounded off the far post back across the box.  In a race between two Lady Cougars and Hutchinson’s Renee Gillespie, the 5’3″ Wichita freshman seized the prize to kick in the game winner with 32:52 on the clock.  

The attention now turns to recruiting for the Lady Cougars as third year Head Coach Aaron Avila replaces key sophomores and seeks the pieces to fit with his talented group of freshman returning for the 2015 season.

A day with daddy

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Sandra Pugh

Memories of my Dad when I was a teenager were of the strict schedule of his days. No one dared interfere with his routine.

Mom was up early to get breakfast and then Dad would get out of bed around 7:00 and get dressed and wander into the only bathroom in the house. At 7:20 exactly he would exit the bathroom and join Mom in the kitchen where she would have his breakfast ready; usually bacon or sausage and eggs, toast or pancakes, and coffee.

Coffee for my Dad was a ritual and I would be mesmerized watching him every time he drank a cup. He always drank it out of a cup not a mug and the first step was to put 2 heaping teaspoons of sugar in the cup, and then he would stir it vigorously for a minute. Then he added a heaping tablespoon of cream. The cream was bought from a local farmer and was so thick it would mound up on the tablespoon and had to be spooned out of the jar because it wouldn’t pour.

Now that the cream and sugar were in the cup, he could get down to some serious stirring. I can still hear the rattle of the spoon as he vigorously stirred around and around, then back and forth, only interrupted by the sound of the coffee as he raised the spoon and dribbled the coffee into the cup. This routine would last for a few minutes until he deemed it cool enough to drink.

At 7:50 he was up from the table and after teasing mom for a few seconds he was out the door and off to work. She would have the morning to get ready for his trip home at noon.

At 12:05 he would walk in the door for lunch and Mom would always have it ready to put on the table. First thing when he sat down was his coffee and his stirring routine while she was setting the food on the table.

For lunch he always had a piece of bread with peanut butter on it with his meal. But the peanut butter was not spread on the bread as is, it had to mixed to just the right consistency with white Karo syrup. More of the manic stirring until it was just right and then it was spread on the bread.

One of his favorite meals was hot dogs, fried potatoes, fresh tomatoes and radishes, and dessert. (Every meal except breakfast he had to have dessert.) He never ate a hot dog bun just the hot dog and he would cut it up on the plate. The radishes were cut into little slices and laid on the table with salt sprinkled on them.

The potatoes would be covered with white Karo syrup before he ate them and the tomatoes were coated with salt. At the end of the meal you would find the end pieces of the hot dog and the little corner of the bread that his fingers had touched still on his plate. Mom even tried cutting off the ends of the hot dog one time and he still left the ends on the plate.

At 12:35 he would get up from the table and walk into the bedroom and lay down. I think he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. He would sleep for exactly 20 minutes and get up on his own and come back to the kitchen to give Mom a kiss and a pinch somewhere and then he was out the door.

Supper was always at 6:00PM and the whole family had to be at the table to eat together. Dad sat at the head of the table and even when there were 2 kids on each side of the table and Mom was at the other end; he could reach any of us if we acted up. The rules of the table were: no hats, no humming or singing and everyone ate what was on the table.

He never came to the table without a flyswatter, and it lay on his lap throughout the whole meal. He could reach the kid that sat the farthest away from him without even raising off the chair. He did not hesitate reaching down the table and giving you a little swat if you didn’t act right.

As soon as supper was over he would go into the living room and relax in his recliner and read the paper with his favorite cat or dog on his lap. Beside the chair was a dish of black licorice and he would eat that until 7:45 when mom would make popcorn for everyone.

Popcorn was an every night affair, and it was made in a pan that you had to stand and shake so it wouldn’t burn. On another burner she had some real butter melting slowly. The popcorn was covered in the butter and a large serving bowl was given to Dad. The rest of us shared what was left.

Saturday nights he ate his popcorn while he watched boxing. We only had one TV so you watched what Dad wanted or you went to your room and listened to AM radio. Sometimes while the boxing match was on he would fall asleep. I would creep across the living room (no remotes then) and change the channel.

As soon as the other channel came on he would say “I was watching that, put it back on boxing.” We would try to tell him he was sleeping and snoring, but he would continue to claim he was watching and back to boxing it would go.

9:00 PM was the time for vanilla ice cream and Hershey chocolate syrup. A large cereal bowl mounded high with rich ice cream and then covered with the syrup was served to dad. Once he finished the ice cream he watched TV until 10:00PM and then he thought it should be turned off and everyone should go to bed.

Now the question I am sure everyone is asking about a day with daddy is how large was this man who only stood 5’9” tall? Even after eating all the stuff he ate during each and everyday, he only weighed 135 pounds soaking wet with all his clothes on. I inherited his sweet tooth but unfortunately I didn’t receive his fast metabolism. To contact Sandy: [email protected]