Is Anybody There? (Best Of)
Drought magnet
Apparently, I’m a “drought magnet.” Today, rural Chase County, Kansas, where I used to live, is getting a good soaking — four inches or rain or more. All of eastern Kansas is getting rain. But, here in Riley, Kan., just a drizzle. We are just a smidgen west of all the rain.
And, my newly-seeded fescue lawn seed is still laying there in the dust, waiting for enuf rain to get it sprouted and growing. Guess, my only lawn play is to dig out the sprinklers and start mechanically watering my new yard. Thankfully, our new well seems to have a plentiful supply of good water.
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Children seem to have innumerable ways to confound their parents and grandparents. Here’s a good example:
A 6-year-old farm girl sassed back at her mother and her mother decide the best way to punish her daughter for her impertinence was to make her sit alone in the mother’s dark clothes closet until she apologized.
And that’s what happened. After shutting the closet door on her belligerent daughter, Mom waited outside the door, but could hear nuthin’ but sputtering.
After a few minutes of sputtering, it got uncomfortably quiet in the closet — so much so that Mom got concerned, opened the door, and peered inside.
“What are you doing in there that you’re so quiet,” inquired Mom.
Her resolute and belligerent daughter replied, “Well, I spit on your new dress first. Then I spit in your new shoes. Then I spit on your house robe. And, now I’m waiting for more spit.”
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Another rural kid story. A little farm boy went to visit his grandmother and she took him to her little rural church with her. The grandmother taught the children bible school class that day. That Sunday the topic was what children could learn from the book of Job in the Bible. When the class was over, she asked if anyone in the class could recite a Bible verse about Job from memory.
Grandmother was quite proud when her grandson volunteered. But her pride quickly dissipated when the boy stood up and blurted, “Take this Job and shove it.”
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And, still a third kid’s story. On the first day of school, a rural kindergarten boy was asked by his teacher to put his right hand over his heart and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
But, his teacher noticed that the lad put his hand behind his back on his little butt.
The teacher asked the lad why he put his hand behind his back rather than over his heart.
She could barely stifle a guffaw when the kid replied, “Every time Grandma comes to see me, she pats me back there and says, ‘Bless your little pea-pickin’ heart.”
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A rancher was attending his beef industry association’s convention in a big city. He was astounded at the expense that attending the convention was setting him back financially.
One evening he went into the hotel restaurant for a steak. He noticed the menu stated, “In this fine business, if you order a fresh egg, you get the freshest egg in the world. If you order hot coffee, you’ll get the hottest coffee in the world.”
When the waiter brought him the “small” steak that he’d ordered, he became acutely aware of the truth in the restaurant’s menu advertising.
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Deer season is just around the corner. That makes this little story have a grain of truth in it.
A Missouri farmer yelled at his daughter. “I see a traveling salesman coming up the road. Better get into the house for safety’s sake.”
His daughter peered down the road and told her Pa, “That ain’t no salesman. That’s a deer hunter.”
That’s when her Pa said, “That’s even more reason to get in the house for safety sake. And, I’ll bring in the milk cow, too.”
***
We are slowly getting settled into our new home. We even had our first overnight guests last weekend — Canby and May Bea Handy, from Platte City, Mo. We had a great time, eating BBQ brisket, playing cards, and catching up on our gabbing.
Our house in in pretty good order. Boxes unpacked. Have a lot of wall hangings up, but more to hang yet. It’s now looking like a home, not a house.e
The garage is a mess, but after I get shelving bought, it’ll begin to shape up.
***
Words of wisdom for the week: “Getting a college degree costs a fortune these days. But, getting that sheepskin does produce three very proud people — the student, his momma and his pauper.”
Have a good ‘un.
Kansas and Renewable Energy
In this modern day and age we have come across many different kinds of technology, the development of AI, satellite systems never before thought of, and more recently on the table of discussion, the matter of how we power that technology. For those of you who have been keeping up with county news of policies and practices that have been supported and dismissed, you know full well that Harvey County recently agreed to a moratorium on renewable energy builds in the commercial district of Harvey County. This decision does not come easily, and in a world where renewable energy is the path of the future, we must for ourselves decide what We have to do for our children and the generations from then on. Join me in looking at where renewable energy puts us in the future.
You might have seen a couple of things on the news recently about how the world is gradually shifting to clean renewable energies. And that the tipping point of renewable energy development has been reached. That statement is true in many ways. In fact, projection charts already show that solar energy will be the energy of the future, and it’s not even close. Global demands for oil, natural gas, and coal are expected to peak by the end of this decade. Overall, this is great news. It may not be great news for oil and gas workplace environments, but, it is good news for all of us who enjoy breathing clean air and not living in sweltering summers. So what does this mean for our small towns and populations in rural Kansas? As stated in the opening paragraph, Harvey County has some words.
Not only that, but after heated debates in October meetings county commissioners approved modified regulations for a wind project and continued on to implement a moratorium on commercial wind energy projects after intense objections by county civilians. Basically, they halted all progress on implementing these projects and suspended the decision to a later date. Not only that, but they also suspended the commercial development of solar panels with one of the concerns being the potential harm to the agricultural industry.
To be honest, I think it’s fair to say that people don’t like change. Especially, in rural Kansas, I mean really, let’s own up to it. I know I don’t like change. Being brought up on a farm in the middle of a drought-ridden prairie taught me that change is the enemy of farming progress and harvest. Why would we like it? But in many cases, change can bring good things. I mean, just look at the crazy massive 9700 combines they have nowadays, and who knows what else. Developments are made to help us do things more efficiently and expediently. Renewable energies could be the bringer of both, so long as we’re willing to allow the change to happen.
The world is changing and developing in new ways each and every day. Years of experience will tell us that Kansas may be one of the last places to change with the rest of the world. Additionally, I think it’s important to remember that the policymakers of Kansas really don’t like change either. They’ll make sure to do right by us, if Harvey County has shown us anything in this past week, it’s that policymakers do listen to their constituents. The concerns expressed and heard are one of the greatest strengths of our democracy. I for one, have hope that the two can work together in order to find the best way for everyone to navigate a future of clean and sustainable energy production.
Wimpy and the Woodchuck
Just the other day, I was reminiscing with someone else my age the days of our youth, and though I’ve told this story before, it came to my mind amidst the memories, and is just too good not to repeat. So, grab a snack, sit back and enjoy “Wimpy and the Woodchuck.”
As a kid growing up in the farm country of central Ohio, my summer income came from the same source as all other farm boys near and far; baling hay! I know I’m aging myself here, but we’re talking pre-round bale days; we’re talking wagon load after wagon load of at least 100 small square bales apiece, loaded on wagons pulled behind the baler, taken to the barn, unloaded onto an elevator and stacked into the loft. The farm boys in our neighborhood were the usual ornery, free-spirited lot, but we all knew how to work hard, and come hayin’time each year we became a necessary commodity to most local farmers. Such was the case with Chester Campbell. “Chet” as he was known, lived across the road from me, was a grouchy ol’ cuss and for reasons unknown, didn’t seem to care much for us neighborhood boys. I think the feelings were mutual, but like I said, once his hay was down, we became “golden.”
Ohio has groundhogs like Kansas has coyotes; wherever there is ground there are groundhogs. Groundhogs, best known as woodchucks, look like overgrown prairie dogs, short stumpy tail and all, and can easily grow to weigh ten pounds or more. They have two sharp incisor teeth in the front of their mouth, much like a beaver, and eat all types of green plant life. They dig their burrows in fence rows and woodlots where they can easily sneak out into fields of young growing crops and wreak havoc. Like mini combines they choose a row of tender young soybean plants, straddle the row and eat every plant off to the ground for several feet.
We had a dog named “Silly” who was a groundhog slayin’ machine. Silly knew just how and where to grab them, and would shake them till their teeth rattled. One day we heard a huge ruckus coming from the cornfield by the house. Upon investigation, it was Silly who had caught a groundhog, probably sneaking through the cornfield on its way back to the safety of its den. When the fight was over, Silly was victorious as usual, the groundhog was dead and a patch of corn the size of a pickup was flattened from the fray.
Now old man Campbell also had a dog, sort of a cross between a Beagle and a Bassett, named Wimpy. As I remember Wimpy was a good old dog, just not the “sharpest knife in the drawer,” if you know what I mean. This particular day, Campbell’s hay was ready to bale, and, as usual, three of us neighbor boys suddenly became handier to him than sliced bread! The hay field was bordered by a creek on one side and by woods on one end, and those borders were riddled with woodchuck dens.
Empty wagons were pulled behind the baler, and when one was loaded, we stopped long enough to unhook the loaded one, hook up to the empty behind us and go again. In the middle of one such exchange, we heard the most awful wailing, screeching and thrashing imaginable coming from the nearby field edge. The three of us ran to investigate and
found Wimpy in the weeds with a big groundhog fastened securely to the end of his snout! Around and around they went, the woodchuck showing no intentions of letting go. We all knew better than to try and interrupt the festivities barehanded, so we scrambled to find something to end the brawl and save Wimpy’s snout. The back of all the hay wagons had metal “pockets” welded to them into which wooden racks could be inserted to provide something solid to stack the back row of hay bales against. One wagon happened to have just single 2×4’s in those pockets, so someone grabbed one and ran back to the brawl. After taking careful aim amidst the ball of thrashing fur, a well placed wallop across the groundhogs back dropped it to the ground and sent it diving for its burrow minus Wimpy, who raced shrieking toward the house. So ended Wimpys close encounter with the woodchuck, and I sincerely doubt he ever saw one that close again.
Although I’ve not heard of groundhogs in my neck of the woods, they are in Eastern KS and will probably someday make their way here much like the armadillos have. Each time I go to Hutchinson I marvel at the prairie dog “city” there around the mall, and I think to myself that if our commercial food supply was ever cut off and I wanted something different than fish or venison, I’d simply head to the mall with a pellet gun and fill my freezer; I’m sure prairie dog tastes just like chicken!…Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors.
Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected].
Fall Season Photograph of Downtown Buhler, KS to be Spotlighted by TV Show, Small Town Big Deal
HUTCHINSON, Kan. (October 24, 2023) – A fall season photograph of downtown Buhler, KS will be featured on the social media pages of the Nationally Syndicated TV Show Small Town Big Deal.
The photo, entitled: “Fall in America’s Heartland | October in a Small Town” was taken by Michael Hinton, a rural Kansas native and Hutchinson, KS resident; during a recent weekend visit with his wife, Tonya. Buhler, KS (Pop. 1,297) is a city in Reno County, KS, located 12-miles northeast of Hutchinson, KS (Pop. 39,138). Buhler offers visitors a great experience and exquisite small town charm all year round.
Hinton shared he took the photo while walking the couple’s adopted rescue Sheltie (Winston), along the sidewalk in front of Buhler’s Grand Staff Thrift Boutique. “The view was absolutely picturesque, so I had Tonya hold Winston’s leash while I snapped a picture. I have a passion for visual arts & communications, and I’m constantly mindful of scenery that speaks to capturing a given moment in time, for sharing its splendor with others.”
Michael added, that he and his wife Tonya have a genuine and enduring love for the State of Kansas and rural, small town America; each having been raised 15-miles apart from one another: Michael in the rural countryside between Newton, KS (Pop. 18,241) & Walton, KS (Pop. 213); and Tonya in Peabody, KS (Pop. 922).
Hinton’s photo of downtown Buhler, KS is slated to post on the Show’s social pages [Facebook, Instagram, & Web Blog] on Wednesday, October 25.
ABOUT SMALL TOWN BIG DEAL:
Small Town Big Deal is hosted by Rodney Miller and Jann Carl, and is currently viewed by nearly 500,000 viewers across America every week, and Broadcast on more than 300 television stations in the U.S. Rodney created the Show following a long career in farm machinery manufacturing & sales, serving as CEO of both McCormick International and Montana. He was instrumental in establishing US operations for Valtra Tractors and in territory management for Long and Mahindra Tractors. Jann is an Emmy Award-winning news reporter, TV show producer, and served 14-years as an anchor of “Entertainment Tonight” (CBS). She too, has a farm background.
ABOUT MICHAEL HINTON:
Michael Hinton is a distinguished rural-raised Kansan, University of Kansas Alumni, and the Founder of Antique Tractor Preservation Day. He is profoundly recognized as America’s premier antique tractor enthusiast. Michael has devoted a lifetime to promoting America’s heritage farm machinery, fulfilling his dream as serving as an unwavering advocate for agriculture and raising national awareness about the ways the tractor changed American farming. Michael serves as Director, Sales & Marketing at AgTrax, the leading global Agribusiness Software Technology Solutions Company located in downtown Hutchinson, KS. He and his wife Tonya call Hutchinson, KS home. Their daughter Melissa and her husband Dylan, reside in West Plains, MO.
CONTACT: Michael Hinton
[email protected] 620.888.5605







