Amanda Miller
Columnist
Lettuce Eat Local

Though his name is literally the title, I’m guessing a vast majority of people celebrate the day without ever actually thinking of the man at all. You can say “St. Patrick’s Day” a thousand times without once remembering that yes, it’s a day commemorating a saint named Patrick.
Be honest with yourself — had you thought of a 5th-century author before I mentioned it? And now that I did, are you picturing a swarthy Irishman with curly red hair and a bonny brogue? Wearing a green robe and drinking beer, of course.
Perhaps Patrick wore green, but he was British by birth; he only came to Ireland on a slave ship after being abducted as a teenager. After six years of servitude he escaped back to England, likely not with the fondest memories of the Emerald Isle.
Nevertheless, after a vision, he felt compelled to return to the land of his suffering and to bring the gospel with him. Both his history in Ireland and his lack of education caused understandable trepidation, but according to Brittanica, “once in the field, however, his hesitations vanished. Utterly confident in the Lord, he journeyed far and wide, baptizing and confirming with untiring zeal.” It wasn’t all cream and shamrocks from there, and Patrick lived in danger; yet his mission’s success was “phenomenal” and his writings, which “mirror a truth and simplicity of the rarest quality,” are still impactive today.
I could go on and on, of course, but there’s a basic glimpse at Ireland’s patron saint, national apostle, and man behind the holiday.
Emigrants to the US turned St. Patrick’s Day over time into the less saintly observance it is now, a secular celebration of all things Irish, or Irish-associated, or at least green. It’s my sister-in-law’s favorite holiday: “Because I’m Irish-ish and I love green and potatoes.” Seems fair. She also said it doesn’t get enough credit as a holiday so someone needs to hype it up; she’s happy to be that person.
We’ve always been told my mother-in-law has some Irish in her heritage…according to her ancestry composition, she’s got 3.1% in the category of British and Irish, so we might need to focus on the “some.” But actual ancestry rarely keeps anyone from joining in on St. Patrick’s Day fun, and who can blame us when Lucky Charms, shamrock shakes, and pots of gold are on the line.
Are any of those actually Irish either? Hardly — even Bailey’s Irish Cream, which literally has it in the name, was created by an Englishman.
We could keep going: Guinness and soda bread are actually from Ireland, but corned beef as we know it started with Irish-American and Jewish immigrants, and even “Irish” potatoes were native to South America before they made it to Ireland in the 1500s.
I like to dig down and get to the real, authentic history and traditions — but sometimes I am reminded that authenticity looks different in different contexts and means different things. Just because potatoes didn’t originate in Irish soil doesn’t lessen their “authenticity” to Ireland now; maybe St. Patrick did or maybe he didn’t explain the Trinity using the three parts of a shamrock, but it’s part of Irish tradition now. Perhaps you grew up always drinking mint milkshakes on March 17, which is totally inauthentic, and yet also totally authentic because it’s your experience. There is a lot to be said for authenticity in many forms. Food isn’t fake, so roll with it.
Well, except for green beer. Skip that one.

Authentically Delicious Fake Bailey’s
Ireland is known for its dairy products and whiskey, and Bailey’s Irish Cream came about as part of a marketing campaign based on those products. Awkwardly, this version has neither cream nor alcohol, but it is so delicious that I’m not even sad. I’ve made several variations before, but this is the first time with coconut milk; distinctly not Irish, but lending such a sweet luxuriousness. Quick to make and family-friendly, this rich and creamy beverage would pair wonderfully with soda bread or scones with cream and jam.
Prep tips: this keeps at least a week in the fridge (hypothetically — you’d have to not drink it all to find out), so make a good-size batch and have plenty ready to share with friends.
1 [13.5-ounce] can coconut milk
1 tablespoon instant espresso powder
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
½ – 1 teaspoon almond flavoring
1 teaspoon vanilla
Pinch of salt
2 tablespoons maple syrup, or to taste
to serve: ice, milk, and/or coffee; whipped cream
Combine all ingredients in a blender and process until smooth, adding more maple syrup if you like. You can drink it anywhere on the spectrum from super-thick as is, or over ice and with any amount of milk or coffee.

Authentically Delicious Fake Bailey’s

Ireland is known for its dairy products and whiskey, and Bailey’s Irish Cream came about as part of a marketing campaign based on those products. Awkwardly, this version has neither cream nor alcohol, but it is so delicious that I’m not even sad. I’ve made several variations before, but this is the first time with coconut milk; distinctly not Irish, but lending such a sweet luxuriousness. Quick to make and family-friendly, this rich and creamy beverage would pair wonderfully with soda bread or scones with cream and jam.
Prep tips: this keeps at least a week in the fridge (hypothetically — you’d have to not drink it all to find out), so make a good-size batch and have plenty ready to share with friends.

1 [13.5-ounce] can coconut milk
1 tablespoon instant espresso powder
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
½ – 1 teaspoon almond flavoring
1 teaspoon vanilla
Pinch of salt
2 tablespoons maple syrup, or to taste
to serve: ice, milk, and/or coffee; whipped cream

Combine all ingredients in a blender and process until smooth, adding more maple syrup if you like. You can drink it anywhere on the spectrum from super-thick as is, or over ice and with any amount of milk or coffee.