Ah, the news. The things you find out in the news that aren’t earth-shaking, but interesting all the same.
To wit: A news item that might be of interest to my Colorado readers with dogs for pets — since Colorado became ground zero for legalized marijuana. Researchers have found out that dogs react very unfavorably to eating or drinking anything laced with MJ or even licking their paws after walking through an MJ patch. The dogs studied — and those coming to veterinary hospitals — were discombobulated, sometimes incontinent, and sometimes nauseated. Not being judgmental — just trying to be helpful and save your pet from being sick and you from having to pay for a vet visit.
Another news item: The Europeans are experiencing a shortage of fresh veggies. Because of bad weather in the veggie-growing areas along the Mediterranean Sea, farmers could plant and harvest only a third of their normal acreage. The result? Many store shelves are bare of fresh veggies and wholesalers and retailers are rationing supplies.
The moral to this story? Modern societies — including the U.S. — take their food supplies for granted. Consumers apparently think food magically comes fresh or pre-packed into their supermarkets. The truth is humanity is never more than one bad global growing season from a food shortage.
Second moral to this story? If you eat, thank a farmer or stockman. And, don’t cuss a farmer with your mouth full.
And, this item from Baltimore: The Park Cafe in Bolton Hill says cash payments are not accepted. Park Cafe was robbed five times from October to January. While the armed suspect is now behind bars, those crimes pushed the owner to ditch the cash drawer altogether. Most patrons are on board. Cash normally makes up 22 percent of Park Cafe’s revenue, but so far, it hasn’t seen any change in its income since going cashless. So, at the Park Cafe — Got Cash? No Coffee!
I doubt that the Saffordville Old Boar’s Club will be adopting the “no cash” policy any time soon.
A website — mashable dot com — reports that more than 12,000 people have gone on social media to suggest that the assassination of the new president would be a good thing. My comment: So much for the “foolks” who profess to peace, love, tolerance, and universal harmony. Apparently, they reside on a one-way street.
And, here’s a weird new item that hits close to my domestic avian heart: It’s about a patriotic chicken that can play “America the Beautiful” on a tiny piano. It wuz reported by David Moye at The Huffington Post. He reports, “If there is anything that will remind people that America’s strongest asset is its inclusiveness, it’s a chicken playing ‘America The Beautiful’ on a keyboard. The chicken in question is named ‘Jokgu,’ and she’s an 19-month-old Buff Brahma Bantam who lives in a coop in Germantown, Maryland, that is stocked with toy musical instruments. Usually, the chickens just haphazardly pluck and peck the instruments randomly, but coop co-owner Shannon Myers recently decided to see if Jokgu could do something more noteworthy and play a real song.”
It took two weeks of “clicker training” for the hen to “get” the song, Her owner says the hen seems to put extra feeling into the “amber waves of grain” part of the song. Her owner says Jokgu was “egged” on to learn to play the piano.
My take: At least the chicken is more patriotic that those “foolks” egging on an assassination. Listening to her play “America the Beautiful” gave me goosebumps.
And, closer to home, Sky News reports a bovine in Oklahoma City took a fancy to a neighborhood swimming pool and couldn’t resist an early morning dip. An Oklahoma City homeowner was enjoying his morning coffee when he was startled by loud “snorting” noises from the vicinity of his pool.. He was alarmed enough to call 911. Emergency responders were quickly on the scene and found a cow trapped in the water. Firefighters tried to use ropes to remove it from the pool. Unfortunately, at 1,500 lbs it proved too heavy and fears for its safety prompted Animal Control to request a tow truck with a hoist … Fire Department pumps were used to remove a significant amount of water from the pool … The cow was then successfully hoisted and showed no signs of distress as it was loaded into a trailer and transported away.
Now that’s a “mooo-ving” news item.
To finish off this column, here’s another swimming joke from by buddy Jay Esse. Two farm girls were discussing the best way to teach a boy to swim. The first said: “Put your arm around his neck, then you gently take him by the hand and …”
Second girl: “But, he’s my brother.”
First girl: “Oh, well, then, just push him off the dock.”
I’ll end with this bumper sticker: “We in the Fly-Over Nation are called violent because we own guns. When was the last time you saw us block a freeway, riot, loot, throw Molotov cocktails, and burn cop cars and buildings?” Drew a blank, didn’t you?”
Have a good ‘un
Syndicated column by Thought And Laugh Enterprises (TALES)
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