I’m writing this column on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving and I ate so much yesterday that I still haven’t felt like eating breakfast yet. Our daughter, Mite and hubby, and Nevah’s two sisters and hubbys were here for Turkey Day and, as we were supposed to do, stuffed ourselves with roast gobbler and all the trimmings, plus two kinds of pie — pumpkin and pecan.
The bonus wuz all the scraps left on the carcass that I salvaged for my bird dog pup, Mandy. There were so many turkey scraps that I won’t have to feed her any canned dog food for several days.
I haven’t put a pencil to it, but with turkey so relatively cheap in the supermarket, I wouldn’t be surprised if it wouldn’t be cheaper for me to buy whole turkeys, roast them, and feed Mandy high quality turkey to supplement her diet rather than buying her canned dog food (she also gets a good kibble). I might just try it sometime.
Speaking of dogs, I read about a Japanese researcher who did a study on dogs and concluded that they remember what their owners have done. I certainly hope that research is false because my bird dogs could blackmail me for all the stupid things they’ve seen me do in the bird field and around their kennel.
My only salvation — if the research is correct — is that dogs can’t talk.
Last week I mentioned another foreign research project that surmised that socially coarse folks like me who are capable of cussing a blue streak — when the occasion demands it — are smarter than the more refined folks who refrain from cursing. Now, that’s some research I hope is true.
That column prompted a near life-long friend from Wamego, Kan., who works at a farm equipment rental company, ol’ Lisa Sumpower, to send me a little story about a co-worker. Here’s her story about blue vocabulary:
“A fellow worker was telling that his wife got a call that was stressful to her and she said a cuss word in front of their elementary school-aged son.
“A bit embarrassed, she said to her son, ‘Honey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that bad word.’
“Her son replied, ‘Mom. you may call them bad words, but I call them sentence enhancers.’”
I predict that kid will become a statesman.
I stopped by my doctor’s office, ol’ Doc Polk N. Puller, for my winter’s flu shot. When I got home, I found this health advice in my e-mail box. Wish I’d see it before I went to see the doc. Here is …. Advice for the flu season:
To avoid it, eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.
Walk for at least an hour a day or go for a swim. Walk when you could ride.
Wash your hands often. If you can’t, a bottle of antibacterial stuff works.
Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
OR, take the medical profession’s approach. Think about it. When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your arm with alcohol. Why? Because alcohol kills germs.
So, here’s an alternate way to achieve good health.
I walk from the curb to the bar. (exercise)
I put lime in my vodka (fruit) and celery in my Bloody Marys (veggies).
I drink outdoors on the patio in good weather (fresh air).
I tell jokes and laugh and sometimes cuss. (eliminate stress).
Then I pass out (rest).
The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can’t get you!
So, remember this health truism: “A shot in the glass is better than one in the (something that rhymes).
I just have to laugh at all the folks whose common sense takes a vacation when it comes to shopping on Black Friday. I saw in the news this a.m. where folks had been shot, stabbed, got in fist fights, and trampled trying to save a few Black Friday greenbacks. Others camped out all night for the same reason.
As for me, I wouldn’t fight those crowds of crazed shoppers if they were giving free stuff away in the stores.
I like my way of Christmas shopping better — wait until the last week before Christmas, take my gift list to town, go into a store(s) that sells those gifts, and buy them and, hopefully, get some overworked, stressed-out clerk, to gift wrap it for me.
The lame stream media is still rehashing the recent election. So, to close this column, I searched for an appropriate wise quote about elections in our Constitutional Republic. And I found these words of wisdom from author Stephen Vincent Benet:
“You call my candidate a horse thief, and I call yours a lunatic, and we both know it’s just till election day. It’s an American custom, like eating corn on the cob. And, afterwards, we settle down quite peaceably and agree we’ve got a pretty good country — until next election.” Have a good ‘un.