The first time I drove Frank to the clinic to see his doctor I had the car loaded with residents. Frank was in the backseat because he could get in easily. I had known Frank for years and knew he was a big tease but had no idea that he was a backseat driver.
Before we’d driven the block and a half to Monroe from the apartment building, Frank was giving me directions to the clinic. When I stopped at Monroe Street, I looked in the rearview mirror at Frank and asked? “Frank, do you have a backseat driver’s license?”
He said: “No, I don’t have one.” I looked him in the eye and said: “There is no backseat driving in this car unless you have a license.” He didn’t give anymore directions to the clinic or coming home that day.
When I got back to work, I talked to our computer whiz and asked her if she could make me a backseat driver’s license for Frank and use his picture that was in his file. She said she thought she could and by the end of the afternoon I had Frank’s backseat driver’s license in my hand.
It looked exactly like a real license but said: Kansas Backseat Driver’s License. We laminated it and the next day at lunch I presented it to Frank and told him that he was now licensed for backseat driving but it was not valid when I was driving him in the Honda.
One day when I went in to drop off a prescription, for a resident, at Fraese Drug, Frank was sitting at a table having coffee with 5 or 6 of his friends. When I walked near his table, on the way to the pharmacy, Frank yelled at me and said he wanted to talk to me. So I stopped to see what he needed.
Frank drug out his wallet and then the driver’s license and looked at the guys at the table. As he was waving it around and pointing at me he said: “This is the crazy woman that gave me this backseat driver’s license.” The guys all had to tell me how much fun he’d had showing it to people that came in the soda fountain.
Frank proudly showed the backseat driver’s license to everyone he knew and probably some that he didn’t know. He loved to prove that he had a real backseat driver’s license. He continued to be a backseat driver the rest of his life and thought he was legal with the license in his wallet.
The Honda I drove at work had heated seats and I’d turn them on in the winter for the residents. They loved them so their seat heater was usually on when it was really cold. But my seat was always turned off because I hate how they feel.
I took a man to the doctor one summer afternoon when it was 100 degrees. He had on shorts and a short sleeve shirt when he came out of the building but complained all the way to the clinic that he was freezing.
I turned off the air conditioner on his side of the car and that didn’t seem to help so then turned off my side too and thought that would warm him up. But he still complained all the way to the clinic that he was freezing. By the time we arrived at the clinic I was sweating because it was so hot in the car.
I was glad to be able to turn the air conditioning back on when I left the clinic and headed to the bank to make the deposit. Then I drove back to work to pick up a resident and take her to the doctor.
2 hours later I received a call from the man saying he was ready to come home from the clinic. The lady I took over after him had not called so he was the only one waiting to be picked up.
When I stopped at Monroe I decided he wouldn’t be cold coming home (if he had been before). I turned up the ac on the passenger side of the car so it was blowing hot air but left the ac going on my side. I also turned on the seat heater on the passenger side.
When I swung into the clinic 10 minutes later he came bounding out and jumped in the car. I asked him how he was doing and he said they thought he was doing well and he felt great. That confirmed that he hadn’t been cold on the way over.
So we headed home. We drove from the clinic to 30th and turned west and drove to Lorraine, then turned and drove north on Lorraine. At 43rd we turned west and headed for Plum. Before we got to where the new school is sitting now he was starting to squirm in the seat.
When we stopped at Plum Street he was really having trouble sitting still. I looked over at him and asked: “What is the matter, you have been squirming for the last mile?”
He said to me: “I am hot, I am so hot!” “Oh, you are hot? I thought you were cold today.” I said. “No I am hot!” he replied.
I just chuckled and turned off the seat heater. He watched me shut it off and then turn down the air conditioning on his side to cool. He then looked at me and narrowed his eyes in a threatening glare.
I just gave him a big smile and said: “Don’t tell me you are cold in this car because I can fix that!” Then he laughed and said that was a good one. He told a lot of the residents about me turning on the seat heater on a 100 degree day.
At least he wasn’t cold on the way home and I had been pretty sure he wasn’t cold on the way to the clinic. He loved to tease and had found a way to get me good on the trip over to the clinic. But he found out that I can give as good as I get.
Some of the men who rode with me to the doctor called me Barney Oldfield. If you don’t know who he was, look him up on Google. After reading about him I decided it was a compliment to be called Barney Oldfield.
While I was driving the residents to the doctor there was always an opportunity to have fun with them. Most of them loved to tease me and really enjoyed it when I would give it back.
The backseat driver’s license and the heated car seats were the two incidents that were the most fun when I was driving the men in the Honda at work. To contact Sandy: email@example.com