Somewhere on my lengthy list of unanswered questions is the query that asks “Just how far will we go to protect ourselves from ourselves?” Don’t get me wrong, there are some very necessary warnings out there, like huge letters on a tank of gasoline that read “FLAMMABLE,” or flags that tell us “Road Work Ahead.” But for every good and reasonable warning are a dozen other absolutely wacky warnings that leave us shaking our head.
The thing to remember about wacky warnings is that they got there because someone, somewhere actually did what the warnings tell you not to do. So, someone somewhere tried eating that deodorant stick before the warning “Do Not Ingest” was put there, and so on and so forth. I’m convinced the need for most wacky warnings come about as dares, and are preceded by those 4 infamous little words, “Here, Hold My Beer.”
The outdoor industry is not immune to wacky warnings and offers plenty of products that bear them. The owner’s manual for a new gun I bought says “Appropriate use for this firearm means using your firearm for legal purposes.” So evidently criminals using guns to commit crimes haven’t read the owner’s manual first? “Always keep fingers and other body parts away from the muzzle” is another firearm warning. I already know there’s a hole in the end of the barrel where that thing comes out, oh now what’s it called…oh ya, the bullet, so I shouldn’t have to feel around there with my finger to find it, and I can’t imagine what other body parts the warning means. The manual for my crossbow tells me “Always THINK before you shoot.” Now why’d they have to go and open that can-a-worms?
And speaking of worms, I found “Not for human consumption” on all fish bait, whether artificially made from who-knows-what, or catfish stink bait made from blood, liver and other organic stuff. Now I may have had this fishin’ thing wrong all along. I’ve always thought the goal was to use the bait to catch fish to take home and eat, not to sit in the boat and eat the bait. Part of the fun of fishing for me has always been takin’ along a nice picnic lunch or at least snacks. I really can’ t picture myself taking a loaf of bread and making sandwiches by spreading slices of bread with stinky catfish bait. On one brand of catfish stink bait, I found the warning “Beware, dogs love this stuff.” Not sure I’d have put that on the jar if my goal was to sell that bait to fishermen to actually catch fish. And I’m not sure why I should “Beware” that my dog might love it. Should I “Beware” because all my expensive bait might disappear, and show up later that night as chunks all over the couch that now smell worse than the bait, or because the dog could grow fins and swim away down the river? One particular artificial bait made by the Berkley Company looks like crayfish packed in a pouch of liquid of some sort. It’s called “Gulp Alive” and the warning reads “Looks alive, Feels alive, Tastes alive; not for human consumption.” Now, to a good-ole’-boy out for a relaxing day on the water, that’s like dealing him all 4 aces and asking him not to play them!
On canisters of black powder used for muzzle loading guns I found this odd warning “Caution, do not eat, drink or smoke around this product.” Now, a warning against smoking anywhere near gun powder is one of those things that should never have to be said, but why not eat or drink around black powder? I have to remind myself again that these warnings usually come about because of some actual event. Maybe someone somewhere was once enjoying a sandwich while loading their muzzleloader, unknowingly ingested some black powder from the air along with the sandwich, and the next morning while completing their morning constitutional, blew the outhouse into the next county.
Perhaps the product I was most surprised to find warnings on were the little hand, foot and toe warmers that you stick inside your gloves or boots. The warning read “Caution, for external use only. Do not allow contents to contact eyes or mouth.” OK, not quite sure what to say about the “external use only” part of the warning, but I must say how disappointed I am that I can’t eat hand warmers! Yes, there have been a few times while sitting in a deer blind when I’ve neglected to pack a snack and wished I had just a little something to nibble on, but I can honestly say I’ve never considered chomping on my hand or foot warmers. As for the rest of the warning, I can’t remember the last time my mouth or eyes got cold and I considered putting a hand or foot warmer on them.
Warnings; you gotta’ love em.’ My warning to you readers is that reading this column will either make you pee your pants with laughter or put you to sleep, hopefully not both at the same time. Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors.
Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected].
Wacky Warnings
Winners Named At Ranch Rodeos Sponsored By Morris County Youth Rodeo Association
Lonesome Pine Ranch, Cedar Point, won the Fall Ranch Rodeo sponsored by the Morris County Youth Rodeo Association at Council Grove.
Team members are Travis Duncan, Bud Higgs, Troy Higgs, and Bo Krueger, according to Amy Allen, rodeo secretary.
Enroute to championship buckles and a check, Lonesome Pine placed first in team penning, and steer branding as well as second in team roping and fourth in double mugging.
Second place team was Rezac Land & Livestock from Pottawatomie County, while Lilley Performance Horses, Council Grove, placed third.
Slash N won the junior ranch rodeo with team members Hudson Lange and Riley Williams, both of Council Grove, and Avery Hastings, Wilsey. The team placed first in ribbon roping and third in team penning.
Wilson Ranch and T4 Ranch tied for second place junior team honors.
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CUTLINES
Lonesome Pine Ranch, Cedar Point, with Bo Krueger, Travis Duncan, Bud Higgs, and Troy Higgs won the Fall Ranch Rodeo Association sponsored by the Morris County Youth Rodeo at Council Grove. (Amy Allen photo)
Slash N won the junior ranch rodeo at Council Grove with team members Avery Hastings, Wilsey; Hudson Lange and Riley Williams, both of Council Grove. (Amy Allen photo)
Investigation Fails To Find Reason For Churchill Downs Horse Deaths
Churchill Downs, home to the Kentucky Derby, has reopened to racing after shutting down for the summer to investigate a number of horse deaths.
The Horseracing Integrity and Safety Authority (HISA) announced that it could not “identify any singular explanation” for a cluster of horse deaths at Churchill Downs,
Racing was suspended for its spring-summer meet following 12 horse deaths, including seven in the run-up to the Kentucky Derby.
The investigation by HISA, a watchdog group created by a federal act in 2020 and fully implemented in May after overcoming lawsuits from industry opponents, examined whether conditions at Churchill Downs contributed to the cluster of horse deaths.
Racetrack surface expert Dennis Moore, hired by HISA to provide an independent review of the track, found the condition of the surface was unchanged from previous years.
He concluded that the metrics did not indicate a correlation between the track surface and the equine catastrophic injuries sustained during the race meets.
Alina Vale, official veterinarian for the California Horse Racing Board who was brought in by HISA, examined the necropsies performed on the 12 dead horses and found “no identifiable pattern that pointed towards a single causal factor of the fatalities.”
Vale also found that none of the 12 horses tested positive for prohibited substances. But another veterinary expert, Susan Stover of UC Davis, found the 12 horses had run more races in their career than the average racehorse.
“Analysis of training histories did indicate an increased risk profile for some of the horses due to the frequency and cadence of their exercise and racing schedules,” the report said.
HISA also said it found no rules violations by Churchill Downs officials, trainers or workers that contributed to the horse deaths. However, HISA released a number of proposed reforms after the horse deaths at Churchill Downs, Laurel Park in Maryland, and Saratoga Race Course in New York.
They include creation of a track surface advisory group; the creation of a committee that will look into data surrounding the use of synthetic surfaces, which “may be safer for horses than dirt or turf surfaces”; collaboration with horse racing stakeholders on better data collection and analysis; more strident and consistent veterinary protocols; and better doping controls.
“The inevitable recognition that horse fatalities are almost always multifactorial means that the response must similarly be multi-responsive,” HISA said. “No one entity or issue can on its own guarantee a meaningful reduction in equine injuries.
“Horse racing has reached an ‘all-hands-on-deck’ moment requiring more than ever a truly unified effort for the horses. All stakeholder groups must participate in bringing the appropriate recommendations to fruition and being part of the solution.”
The goal is to get the number of horse racing deaths down to zero.
“I believe that if the industry works together and we get behind these initiatives genuinely, that we absolutely can achieve it,” HISA CEO Lisa Lazarus said. “Our goal will always be to get to zero.”
In announcing the return of racing, Churchill Downs said it had implemented a number of changes after undertaking “a comprehensive evaluation of existing safety protocols and a thorough assessment of industry best practices.”
These include new surface maintenance equipment and increased testing of the track’s surfaces, increased veterinary oversight, continued work with HISA to predict at-risk horses, and the establishment of a safety committee comprising horsemen, track employees, and veterinarians.
Churchill Downs also changed its rules regarding which horses are allowed to race. If a horse has been beaten by 12 lengths or more in five consecutive starts, it will not be allowed to run unless the track’s equine medical director provides approval. Plus, horses will be limited to four starts over an eight-week period.
The fall meet is October 29 through November 26.
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CUTLINE
Probe fails to pinpoint the reason for horse deaths at Churchill Downs.
Better Days Without Computers
A young man asked his grandfather, “Grandpa, how did you live in the past without technology . . .
Without computers, without internet connection, without television, without air conditioners, without cars, and without cell phones?”
Grandpa answered:
“As your generation lives today . . .
There are no prayers, there is no compassion, there is no respect, there is no real education, there is no personality, there is no shame at all, there is no modesty, and there is no honesty.
“We, the people born between the years 1940-1980, were the blessed ones. Our lives are a living proof…
While playing about everywhere and riding our bikes we never wore a helmet. Before school we played and then again after school until dusk we played and hardly ever watched television. We played with real friends, not virtual friends.
If we were thirsty, we drank tap water, or water from the hose, not mineral water in a plastic bottle. We never worried even when we shared the same cup of juice with four friends. We never gained weight by eating plates of pasta every day.
Nothing happened to our feet despite roaming barefoot. We never used food supplements to stay healthy. We used to make our own toys and play with them. Our parents were not rich, but they gave love, not stuff.
We never had a cell phone, game console, Xbox, video games, personal computer, or internet, but we had true friends.
Our friends were our neighbors and we visited them and their parents without being invited and shared and enjoyed the food with them.
We had black and white photos, but we can find colorful memories in these photos.
We are a unique and the most understanding generation because we are the last generation that listened to their parents. And to my extreme sadness, we are also the first ones who were forced to listen to their children.
We are a limited edition. Take advantage of us. Learn from us. We are a treasure destined to disappear soon.”
Reminded of Matthew 12:45 “That is what this generation is like. You may think you have cleaned out the junk from your lives and gotten ready for God. But you were not hospitable to His kingdom’s message, and now all the devils are moving back in.”
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XVII–41–10-8-2023
Save People, Not Flies
Hyllningsfest: Music
LINDSBORG ‒ The festival schedule online opens with a photo, a section of the Smoky Valley Middle School marching band, youngsters in traditional Swedish costume. And there with the saxophone line is Jay Steinberg, wide smile and Swedish get-up, arm raised in a wave to the parade crowd.
Steinberg had been a fixture at Hyllningsfest for decades before he died in May 2015 after a long battle with cancer.
It has been ten years ‒ five festivals ‒ since Steinberg marched in the Hyllningsfest parade. He was a round, elfin-like man with boundless energy and a love of all things music, especially when it involved youngsters. Steinberg taught music in the Smoky Valley Schools for decades, and he became music’s definition for the schools, the community, for Hyllningsfest.
And as a celebrated musician, he was much a part of festival performances of the Smoky Valley Men’s Choir. Less is more, Steinberg seemed to say, or play. His clarinet or oboe came on in an elegant whisper, a lustrous accent for the Choir’s voice, polishing phrases like a soft cloth, bringing luster to a movement.
Steinberg was originally from New Jersey, landed here in the 1970s and never left. Steinberg was dean of the Smoky Valley Schools music faculty and an instructor at Lindsborg Middle School and Smoky Valley High School. He also taught at Wichita State.
As Hyllningsfest approached, Steinberg was up with the sun and the town knew it. Band members were in practice mode, marching up the streets, Steinberg at the students’ side, shouting above the drums, checking the lines, checking the lines again, and when the band began to play, he would step away and slightly back, still marching, as the students strutted crisply ahead of him. He wanted them in front. He wanted them and their music to be noticed first and always.
When those youngsters come marching this year, give them a wave – and a thought to Jay.
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For more than a quarter-century, the Smoky Valley Men’s Choir has delighted audiences with superb evidence that music is a footing for this community. More is in store on Friday, Oct. 13, when the Choir performs at 6:30 p.m. at Bethany Lutheran Church. The Choir, under the direction of Leah Ann Anderson, was established in 1997; its members ‒ 45 this year ‒ come together only every two years for Hyllningsfest. They have been in two-hour rehearsals every Tuesday for two months.
In recent years the group has been in such demand that its performance schedule has continued into the Christmas holidays. On December 9 the Men’s Choir will perform at roughly 7 p.m. at the Swedish Pavilion in Heritage Square. The event is part of the Old Fashioned Christmas celebration at the Lindsborg Old Mill and Swedish Heritage Museum.
Praise for this Choir has been long and effusive. There are not enough superlatives to tell its magnetic resonance, its clarity and vigor and passion.
“This year we’ll present a lively variety, some new works and the traditional ones,” Anderson said. “We’ll have a lot of soloists, and some big pieces, and in the final section, spirituals, all exciting music ‒ and a little surprise, something I won’t divulge just yet.”
The Choir was the idea of Carroll Lindgren who at the time, in 1997, was a member of the Hyllningsfest Committee. Because of Sweden’s long tradition of men’s choirs, Lindgren believed it only fitting that one be established in Lindsborg.
Anderson is a retired choral music instructor at Smoky Valley High School and has taught at Bethany College. She has directed the Men’s Choir since it was founded and insists on preserving its heritage as a community choir, its concerts informal.
“We’re not a professional group,” she has said, “but we do have a lot of talent, and this enables me to raise the bar when choosing literature for the singers.”
