A middle-aged, bachelor farmer one morning at breakfast begins to have severe chest pains. He decides not to call for an ambulance and that he can drive himself the few miles to the hospital emergency room.
He makes the drive successfully and, when he enters the local hospital emergency room, he tells the nurse behind the desk that he is experiencing intermittent severe chest pain.
The nurse gets all his insurance information, and his medical and health history, then tells him to sit and wait in the room until his name is called, and then he would be seen by a doctor.
After waiting a long time, the farmer leaves the emergency room, and then comes back an hour later.
The nurse sees him leave and come back and says to him, “The attending doctor is waiting to see you. Why did you leave for an hour?”
The farmer said curtly, “I went and got a haircut.”
“What?” the nurse exclaims. “Why did you decide to do that now? Why didn’t you get a haircut before you came to the ER?”
The farmer replies, even more cuttingly, “I didn’t need it then.”
***
One spring evening, a little first-grade grand-daughter gets off the school bus at her grandpa’s farm. She joins her grandpa waiting for her while sitting in his porch swing.
When grandpa asks his grand-daughter what she learned in school that day, she replies, “Well, I started learning arithmetic. And my teacher asked me several questions and I got most of them right.”
Then she added, “I want to play teacher and ask you some arithmetic questions, grandpa. Okay?”
“Fine,” the amused grandpa replied. “Ask away.”
So, the grand-daughter got off the porch swing and stood in front of grandpa and asked, authoritatively. “What is 100 minus 1?”
Grandpa replied, “That’s easy. It’s 99.”
Then the second question: “Grandpa, what’s 4 million plus one?
Grandpa answered, “Four million and one.”
The grand-daughter mouth fell open in stunned silence. Then she replied, “Wow, grandpa, you sure do know a lot of arithmetic!”
***
Okay, might as well back that math story up with another math story.
Son: “I got an F in arithmetic.”
Father: “Why?”
Son: “My teacher asked, ‘How much is 2×3?’ I said‘6′”
Father: “But that’s right!”
Son: “Then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?'”
Father: “What the heck’s the difference?”
Son: “That’s close to what I said, but I used a more colorful word than ‘heck’ and she gave me an F!”
***
A cowboy took his young son to a rodeo at a big city arena. It was a “just-us-boys” weekend vacation. The calendar happened to be in the middle of Lent.
While they were sitting in the bleachers waiting for the rodeo to begin, just to make conversation, the cowboy asks his son what he was going to give up for Lent.
The son replied, “I don’t know, Dad. What are you going to give up?”
His father said, “I’ve thought about this a lot and decided to give up liquor.”
Later in the rodeo, the beer man came by, and the cowboy dug deep and ordered a beer.
As the cowboy sat sipping his beer, his son objected, “Hey, I thought you were giving up liquor for Lent!”
Dad answered, “Hard liquor. I’m giving up hard liquor. This is just a beer.”
His son replied with finality, “Well, then, I’ve decided what I’m giving up for Lent. It’s hard candy.”
***
I read that there’s a big push in the beef cattle industry and the government for all cattle to carry a Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) tags so they can be traced throughout the course of their lives from birth to the meat counter.
I see pros and cons to the issue. But, if RFID tags will trace the movement of millions of cattle all over the United States, then I have but one question:
Would some form of RFID tag help immigration authorities deal with the nation’s border security problem? I ask with my tongue in cheek only slightly.
***
Ponder this for the week: Global predications gone awry: 1960s — Oil gone in 10 years; 1970s — Another ice age in 10 years; 1980s — Acid rain will destroy all crops in 10 years; 1990s — The ozone layer will be destroyed in 10 years. None of these things happened, but all resulted in more taxes.
Have a good ‘un.
Haircut
Farmers’ Market Vendor Basics Workshop
Farmers’ Market Vendor Basics Workshop
South Hutchinson, KS – The K-State Research & Extension Reno County Office will be hosting a workshop for anyone interested in becoming a farmers’ market vendor. The workshop will be held on Sunday, March 5 from 2:00 to 4:00pm at the Reno County Extension Office located at 2 W. 10th Avenue in South Hutchinson. Park behind the building and enter through the west meeting room door at the back of the building.
Topics covered include: Rules and Regulations for Selling Food at the Market, Tips for New Market Vendors, Farmers’ Market Requirements. Current farmers’ market vendors will be on hand to answer questions and offer guidance for selling at the market.
Although the workshop is free, pre-registration is requested by March 3. For more information or to register, contact the Reno County Extension Office at 620-662-2371 or email [email protected]
Date: February 28, 2023
Contact: Pam Paulsen, County Extension Agent
K-State Research & Extension – Reno County
Phone: (620) 662-2371
Cell: (620) 664-9671
Email: [email protected]
Kansas Producers Pasture Survey
2023 BLUESTEM Pasture Survey
The Kansas Department of Agriculture is seeking respondent feedback for the 2023 Bluestem Pasture Survey to collect information on native tallgrass pasture use and practices. The survey is administered through the K-State Land Use Survey Office and will be open through March 31, 2023. The biennial Bluestem Pasture Survey collects information on native tallgrass pasture use and practices. The native tallgrass region in Kansas includes 14 counties: Butler, Chautauqua, Cowley, Elk, Greenwood, Woodson, Chase, Coffey, Lyon, Marion, Morris, Geary, Pottawatomie, and Wabaunsee.
The 2023 Bluestem Pasture Survey is voluntary, anonymous and confidential.
To complete the survey, please visit:
Please answer any portion of the questionnaires where you have knowledge of in your area during 2022-2023. If you are unable to complete the survey online, but wish to participate, please contact Dr. Leah Tsoodle, Director, Land Use Survey office, at [email protected]; or Tori Laird, KDA Economist, at [email protected], to receive a written survey or to complete the survey over the telephone.
We sincerely appreciate your responses.
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2023 Kansas PASTURE Survey
The 2023 Kansas Pasture Survey is seeking respondent feedback, and your input is really important! This survey collects information on all types of pasture use and practices, including pasture availability, leasing rates, and fencing rates. It should take less than 15 minutes to complete. The survey is administered through the K-State Land Use Survey Office and will be open through May 31, 2023.
To complete the survey, please visit:
Please answer any portion of the questionnaires where you have knowledge of in your area during 2022-2023. The 2023 Kansas Pasture Survey is voluntary, anonymous and confidential. If you are unable to complete the survey online, but wish to participate, please contact Dr. Leah Tsoodle, Director, Land Use Survey office, at [email protected]; or Tori Laird, KDA Economist, at [email protected], to receive a written survey or to complete the survey over the telephone.
We sincerely appreciate your responses.
Ozark Mountain Breakfast Casserole
Last week I stated that I would try and bring you my ‘skillet’ recipe with the spinach and bow tie pasta. I am still searching folks! I don’t know the year I wrote the dish, therefore I’m having trouble finding it.
I’m bringing back a recipe today that was written in 2009. When I was running the culinary school at Silver Dollar City the clients loved the combinations. You could even rename it to perhaps ‘Cowboy Country Breakfast’. One thing I have not done is to make this the night before and put it in the refrigerator until morning.
Here are a few comments I wrote to myself out to the side of the recipe:
1. The dish calls for 6 green onions. Three will work if you use the onion all the way out to the green tops. (When I grew up we had green onions coming out our ears, so we seldom used the green tops, now I do!)
2. When I wrote this dish Black Kettle seasoning was still being made. The company closed their business, so it is no longer available.
3. *Instead of ‘Black Kettle’ implement 1/2 teaspoon of Lawry’s seasoning salt and 1/2 teaspoon chipotle chili powder.
4. It also appears I tried the recipe without the roma tomatoes and used 1 cup of very thick salsa.
If you’re out to bring something different to the breakfast table or evening meal this is a fun dish to serve. If you asked me what I would serve to accompany, it will depend upon whether it’s served for morning or evening. For an evening dinner I think I would go with cole slaw or a green salad and homemade wedge potatoes baked in the oven. For before 12 noon, I might take the sausage out of the casserole and serve a meat platter for company, along with a fruit bowl and a very lite bread or biscuit, small in size.
The choice of meat in this recipe is a personal call. I frequently used a spicy or hot sausage because it really wasn’t that ‘hot’ when it was broken up and added to the dish. Remember when you are entertaining that a breakfast meal can be a great deal less expensive than a dinner meal. The great thing about breakfast is the guests can enjoy themselves and still have a full day to shop, clean or do errands, etc.
This is indeed something different to enjoy. For cooks who keep a well-stocked pantry you should have everything you need at home except for the onions, tomatoes and cheese.
Ozark Mountain Breakfast Casserole
4 beaten eggs
1 cup milk
1 (8.5 oz.) box Jiffy cornbread mix
1 cup grated pepper jack cheese
1/2 pound cooked sausage of choice
6 green onions, finely minced
4 roma tomatoes, seeds removed and chopped
1 (4 oz.) can green chilies, do not drain
1 teaspoon black kettle seasoning spice *See notes above.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees, Gather an 8 x 8 baking dish
Beat the eggs, stir in milk and cornbread mix. Lightly stir in the remaining
Ingredients, folding gently. Pour into an 8 x 8 greased baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for about 50 minutes. It is done when a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.
Options: Bacon instead of sausage. Rotel tomatoes instead of romas, just be sure and drain extremely well and use only 1/2 a can. Those who enjoy spicy dishes could add chopped jalapenos to the dish.
Garnish with a small dollop of sour cream and salsa.
Simply Yours,
The Covered Dish
KU News: KU announces online data analytics undergraduate program for fall 2023
From the Office of Public Affairs | http://www.news.ku.edu
Headlines
KU announces online data analytics undergraduate program for fall 2023
OVERLAND PARK — The University of Kansas is launching a new concentration in applied data analytics in its Bachelor of Professional Studies degree program in the School of Professional Studies. It will be offered online through the University of Kansas Edwards Campus beginning in the 2023-2024 academic year, giving students with an associate degree or equivalent hours an opportunity to enter this growing field.
KU study documents connection between strength, proficient basketball shooting
LAWRENCE — A new study drawing connections between basketball athletes’ strength and basket-making performance adds to the body of innovative research coming from Jayhawk Athletic Performance Laboratory, part of the University of Kansas School of Education & Human Sciences. The study was published in the academic journal Sports.
KU hosts Brazilian teachers for 6-week program
LAWRENCE — Forty-three K-12 English teachers from the state of Rio de Janeiro are taking part in a program managed by KU’s International Short Programs to improve their English language and teaching skills and learn about U.S. culture. The University of Kansas is one of seven universities across the country selected to host teachers from Brazil as part of the program.
Full stories below.
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Contact: Susan Motley, KU Edwards, [email protected], @KUEdwardsCampus
KU announces online data analytics undergraduate program for fall 2023
OVERLAND PARK — The University of Kansas is launching a new concentration in applied data analytics in its Bachelor of Professional Studies degree program in the School of Professional Studies. It will be offered online through the University of Kansas Edwards Campus beginning in the 2023-2024 academic year, giving students with an associate degree or equivalent hours an opportunity to enter this growing field. The job market for data analysts is expected to grow 23% by 2031, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, with jobs in a variety of sectors and at competitive salaries. Industries across the spectrum rely on learning gleaned from data analytics to make better informed decisions.
The Bachelor of Professional Studies with a concentration in Applied Data Analytics is designed for transfer students and degree completers with a strong interest in information technology.
Stuart Day, dean of the KU Edwards Campus and School of Professional Studies, believes this new program addresses a growing demand for employees with these skill sets across the Kansas City area.
“Today, businesses rely on data analytics to gain actionable intelligence from the massive amounts of data they collect,” Day said. “Data analysts can help organizations optimize processes, better understand their customers and improve marketing.
“The Applied Data Analytics concentration offers practical and applied training in data analytics, operational analytics, research analysis, big data and data management,” Day said. “It provides students with highly valued and relevant skills to help them achieve their career goals.”
According to Heather McCain, interim director of information technology in the School of Professional Studies, who helped develop the new program, this concentration will give students a strong foundation in professional management as well the opportunity to develop their data science skills while solving real-world problems.
“Courses will provide students with fundamental concepts of designing and maintaining database projects as well as storytelling concepts to best communicate the information that data is trying to tell,” Cain said.
The new BPS with a concentration in Applied Data Analytics is supported by the Johnson County Education Research Triangle (JCERT) and aims to graduate professionals ready to fill in-demand jobs in the Kansas City area and beyond.
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Refollow @KUNews for KU News Service stories, discoveries and experts.
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Contact: Mike Krings, KU News Service, 785-864-8860, [email protected], @MikeKrings
KU study documents connection between strength, proficient basketball shooting
LAWRENCE — LeBron James has many things, including the recently acquired NBA all-time scoring record and his long-possessed commanding physical strength. The two seem to be related. But basketball researchers at the University of Kansas have published a new study that found a lack of ties between strength and free-throw, two-point and three-point shooting performance. That doesn’t suggest that the two aren’t related but that proficient shooters likely already possessed adequate levels of strength, according to the study.
Researchers at KU tested a group of 17 experienced shooters with more than nine years of basketball playing experience who had previously competed at the high school and/or college level. The strongest among the 10 men and 7 women did not necessarily have the highest level of shooting accuracy when compared to the other fellow participants. However, they all had one other trait in common: more than two years of resistance training experience.
The research team said the findings do not mean that strength is irrelevant to one of the most important measures of success in the game of basketball: shooting accuracy.
“These participants likely already possessed the level of strength needed to successfully execute these types of shooting motions,” said Dimitrije Cabarkapa, director of basketball research at KU’s Jayhawk Athletic Performance Laboratory, part of the Wu Tsai Human Performance Alliance. “We’re not saying strength is not important for on-court basketball performance but rather that there might be other factors that influence shooting accuracy that need to be considered and studied in the future.”
Cabarkapa and colleagues have conducted a large body of research pertaining to basketball performance, including a study that shows that NCAA Division-I athletes with greater levels of lower-body strength and power were capable of post-collegiately competing at higher levels of professional play, including NBA and international basketball leagues. What may seem like a contradiction shows that further research is necessary to fully understand not only the optimal levels of strength and power but the impact of other performance-related characteristics that basketball players need to possess. One of them might be a biomechanical analysis of the shooting form.
The current study required participants to perform maximal upper-body and lower-body strength testing (bench press and back squat) during the first laboratory visit, then free-throw, two-point and three-point shooting accuracy testing during the second visit. Each participant attempted 225 shots, combining for a total of 3,825 shots. The average shooting accuracy in each of these categories for men was 74.5%, 68.4% and 53.3%, and for women 79.2%, 65.5% and 51.2%, respectively.
The study, written with Drake Eserhaut, graduate teaching and research assistant; Andrew Fry, professor and director of JAPL; Damjana Cabarkapa, graduate teaching and research assistant; Nicolas Philipp, graduate teaching and research assistant; Shay Whiting, undergraduate research assistant; and Gabriel Downey, research project specialist, all within KU’s Jayhawk Athletic Performance Laboratory, was published in the journal Sports.
The study is part of the laboratory’s larger body of work to better understand what physical, performance and biomechanical factors lead to optimal basketball performance. While some may be born with a natural gift for the game, a better understanding of the game’s mechanics can help coaches teach those techniques to players of all skill levels and facilitate improvement. Currently, Cabarkapa and colleagues are focused on using an innovative 3-D markerless motion capture technology to analyze various types of basketball-specific movements that allow players to move freely without any sensors placed on their bodies.
“The future of sports science is in collecting data noninvasively in a time-efficient manner,” Cabarkapa said. “I think monitoring athletes’ performance in a natural setting, whether in a lab, practice or during a game is the ideal way to gather performance data to advance understanding of physiological demands related to on-court basketball requirements.”
The team has also published research in which they analyzed game-related statistics that differentiate winning from losing game outcomes on NBA and NCAA Division-II levels of competition. Both studies indicate that the two most important factors for securing the desired game outcome are field goal shooting percentage and defensive rebounding. Coaches all over the world want to help their teams win, so further understanding of what makes good basketball shooters, rebounders and all-around successful players can be a huge competitive advantage.
“Why are we interested in analyzing shooting performance? Because the numbers clearly show that shooting accuracy is one of the most important factors related to securing the winning game outcome, especially in modern basketball,” Cabarkapa said. “That’s why we use these innovative technologies to study basketball-specific motions to help players reach their peak performance levels.”
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for additional news about the University of Kansas.
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Contact: Christine Metz Howard, International Affairs, [email protected], @KUintlaffairs
KU hosts Brazilian teachers for 6-week program
LAWRENCE — For six years, Lucas Vieira has taught English to middle schoolers in Rio de Janeiro, but it was his ability to visit a Lawrence restaurant solo and carry on a conversation with the staff that provided a major confidence boost.
“I feel validated,” he said. “That I don’t struggle that much means all these years being a teacher, investing in my knowledge, learning English, coming here to improve it, it validates your practice.”
Vieira is one of 43 Brazilian teachers who are at KU this semester as part of a six-week program to improve their English language and teaching skills and learn about U.S. culture.
The group of K-12 English teachers from the state of Rio de Janeiro arrived in Lawrence in mid-January. International Short Programs is managing the PDPI program, which translates to Professional Development Program for English Language Teachers in the U.S. The program is funded by the Brazilian Federal Agency for Support and Evaluation of Graduate Education and administered by the Institute of International Education and the Brazilian Fulbright Commission.
KU is one of seven universities across the country hosting teachers from Brazil as part of the program. In 2019 KU last hosted the program, which was paused for several years because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
The Brazilian teachers are attending classes taught by the Applied English Center and focused on communicating in English, U.S. culture and education technology. The group is also visiting area public schools to observe local English as a Second Language programs.
Another important component of the program is the opportunity to network with English as Foreign Language instructors and learn about U.S. culture. Activities include dinner in American homes, local sporting events and cultural field trips to Kansas City and Topeka.
“PDPI is a tremendous program, and being selected to host it testifies to the strength of our Applied English Center faculty and of our International Short Programs team,” said Joe Potts, associate vice provost of international innovation, development and strategic partnerships. “They’ve done a wonderful job designing curriculum and cultural experiences for the Brazilian teachers, and wonderful learning and sharing is happening in both directions.”
For Vieira, the program is his first time outside of Brazil, and before arriving he didn’t know much about Kansas, aside from the “Wizard of Oz” and the birthplace of Superman. During his time at KU, he has had to adapt to Kansas’ colder weather and picked up on the distinctly Midwest habitat of apologizing for small inconveniences. He has also experienced firsthand the U.S. higher education system.
While Vieira has had to adjust to the cold, he’s been impressed with the warm embrace he’s felt from the community and support from the International Short Programs team.
“Lawrence has an inclusive culture. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all being from another country,” Vieira said.
Vieira is excited to return to his classroom in Brazil, where he can test out the different teaching strategies he has learned. As part of the program, he is expected to share the knowledge he has gained at KU with his Brazilian colleagues.
“The program here focused on how to apply that knowledge and bring it back to your reality in Brazil,” Vieira said. “It gives you a lot of tools that you can mix together or personalize.”
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Erinn Barcomb-Peterson, director of news and media relations, [email protected]
Today’s News is a free service from the Office of Public Affairs
