Tuesday, January 13, 2026
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Road Rage

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The clean-cut boys and girls in their blue and gold FFA jackets make me so proud to be a former member. That was certainly the case when I saw on the front page of my weekly copy of the Voice News of Hickman, Nebraska, FFA members from the Freeman Chapter harvesting over 1,000 pounds of tomatoes, peppers, sweet corn, beans, cantaloupe, cucumbers and zucchini that they gave to needy area residents and food pantries. Although I’m quite sure the zucchini was probably later returned under the cover of darkness. They also grew something called swiss chard and kale, which in my gardening days were known as weeds!

Most FFA chapters have such activities where they strive to make their community a better place to live. And I salute them. In our town our big community effort was the annual roadside cleanup. This was back in the day when motorists thought nothing of opening the car window to empty their trash. So it was a big job and we were aided by Lions Club members who drove the trucks we filled with trash.

I must admit, I dreaded the day because it was a lot of hard work and I almost picked up a rattlesnake one time. But my Grandpa lived for roadside cleanup, although my Grandmother definitely didn’t. Just the words “roadside cleanup” were enough to make her break down and sob for she knew that if anything “good” was found it would end up in her house. Probably in the living room.

There is a big park named for my Grandpa in my town because he put on rodeos to build it. He was Chief of our volunteer fire department for decades, Honorary Chapter Farmer and a stalwart of our community, except on this day when his behavior was somewhat suspect. He voted himself the Inspector General and it was he who performed the mandatory check on every truck so that he might redirect it to his house if he found any “keepers” that were worthy of his museum.

We picked up a lot of flat tires and flotation cushions that flew out of boats. We also picked up Studebaker hubcaps and chromed car graffiti that would be worth a fortune today on eBay. We also found some weird stuff like a chicken coop (empty) and handgun (not empty). We even found a watch that had probably followed a beer can out the window when the passenger threw it. Speaking of beer, that’s mostly what we picked up, empty cans of Olympia, Falstaff, Schlitz and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

We found prophylactics (unused), baby diapers (used), bed springs, tire irons and broken car jacks, no doubt flung aside by an angry motorist. Once we even found a garbage disposal, which seems redundant. There were broken Thermos bottles and furniture that my Grandpa just couldn’t abide being trashed. We even found a bunch of mail once that must have been discarded by a lazy postman who wanted to take the rest of the day off. It only took one day a year for us FFA members to know all the town secrets because we had looked through its collective trash.

The biggest prizes for my Grandpa were license plates and he had quite a collection. Although he was a little overaggressive and premature in one instance when a driver who couldn’t wait for the next rest stop came out of an orchard after answering nature’s call and found Grandpa unscrewing the license plates on his old and battered Chevy Nova. Talk about road rage!

Grandpa was also constantly on the lookout for road signs and he always claimed to have only taken ones that were laying on the ground, although in some cases he had to lean mighty hard on the post to get them there.

I am constantly reminded of the all good being done by FFA chapters all across the country because I inherited most of my Grandpa’s belongings and if it wasn’t for FFA roadside cleanup, my wife and I would be living in an unfurnished house.

wwwLeePittsbooks.com

 

 

Chronicles of The Farm Woman: Accordion

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Farm woman

A country girl has recently proven to be a social genius.  She went to the city for a week’s visit with an aunt.  The aunt lives in the suburbs.  This girl who knows all the neighbors at home for miles around set out to get acquainted with the suburbanites.  Because she likes people they reciprocated.  She found them all interesting.

At the end of five days she decided to have a party.  All the neighbors for three blocks up and down the street were invited and they came.  Introductions had to be made.  Some of these people had lived on the street three years and were not acquainted.  Each one had some contribution to make to the afternoon’s entertainment.  Youngster girls were taking dancing lessons. Others sang.  A young mother who played the violin had not been asked to play for months.  A gray-haired grandmother sang old songs.  It was a gay afternoon thoroughly enjoyed by everyone present.

The girl has returned to the country.  Little did she realize that her party was an achievement in the neighborhood.  All the folks up and down the street miss her.  They wonder when she will return.  Is there sufficient initiative and leadership to stage another successful party?  Or did the guiding genius of this youngster account for its success?

Daughter is studying on the accordion this summer.  Not that she is especially interested in it.  But it pleases father mightily.  One of fathers dreams was of being a master on the accordion.  That which he did not attain he desires his offspring to grasp.

How true this of all parents. Those youthful dreams and ambitions which we were unable to fulfill, we desire to pass on to our children.  For this reason many youngsters are sent to college.  It also causes some adolescent flares and clashes.

Instead of permitting youth to fulfill its own dreams and ambitions we want them to bring ours to fruition.

Chronicles of The Farm Woman: Young Graduate

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Farm woman

Two hundred and forty-nine boys and girls received diplomas at the eight grade commencement Saturday morning.  A group of quiet, alert youngsters, every one well dressed.  Girls all had their hair curled.  The boys wore white shoes.

It was “ad astra per aspera”1 for many of the children and parents in that audience.  In order to be in our seats at 9:15 as the directions stated it meant those in the far corners of the county must leave home at 8 o’clock.  Farmers must allow time for a flat tire or adjustment of the distribu-tor.

Eighth graders like to plan, and they should probably be given more voice in household manage-ment.  One young graduate proposed that a good many things could be done on Friday.  Saturday’s baking was combined with Friday cleaning.  Small brothers and sisters were scrubbed and shampooed.  She work-ed hard and faithfully.  Friday night it seemed that everything was working smoothly.  The first thing Saturday morning a younger brother came down stairs in his best bib and tucker, expecting to slop the pigs and feed the calves in that garb.   He was quickly dispatched back upstairs, mumbling.  The little kids who had no definite outdoor chores sallied forth in the dewy morn.  All that bathing to do over.  It was too much for the sweet girl graduate.  She wept.

Experience, that wonder-ful teacher, has taught her that farmers had best get right out of the wash tub into their best duds.

We overheard a youngster in the audience remark, “Mother, there are lots of babies here.”  There were lots of babies there.  The next crop of rural school children – the hope of America.  It is to rural America that cities must look for leadership.

The speaker of the morning echoed our philosophy when he said that every one hundredth anniversary of the founding of the common school by Horace Mann – the man who dreamed of a literate America.  A wave of humility and gratitude comes when one thinks of the vision and courage of the founder of our common schools.

One of these graduates may not one day be president but it is to be hoped that each will cling to the heritage of freedom of speech and worship, to the right to trial by jury and to the right to private property.  This the birth-right of every American child.                     

Feral fowl

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Steve Gilliland
Steve Gilliland

The past few years, feral pythons set free by people who had possessed them for pets, have

been wreaking havoc in Florida by eating everything that moves, and for many years feral hogs have

caused problems in many states including parts of Kansas. A couple years ago my sister purchased a

house in Florida and she informed me then that feral chickens (yes, you read that right) were becoming

the new scourge in Florida. Now I can understand how feral pythons and feral hogs are a problem. After

all, neither of these are something you can just plink with a pellet gun when you spot them in your

backyard. But when it comes to feral chickens, my country-boy mind is not allowing me to fathom how

on God’s green earth wild chickens were allowed to become a problem!

Now I’ve always been proud of how we Midwestern country folk solve problems, and I think I

may have stumbled onto my part-time retirement career. There is no better chicken thief than a wiley

coyote, and the last I checked, this country has plenty of them too. So this year instead of turning all

my coyotes into fur coats, I’ll keep them alive and develop a stable full of already-trained-4 legged-
chicken-assassins. I know a guy at the edge of town who works out of a dark garage hidden in a plum

thicket behind his house, and he seems to have an unlimited supply of electronic parts. He assures me

he can take an off-the-shelf solar-powered electric fencer, juice it up a little Tim Taylor style, combine

it with a cheap GPS unit and a police tazar, and rig it all to work with a remote. I’ll dart each coyote so

they’re sedated long enough to fit them with a small backpack containing the amped-up fencing unit. At

the same time I’ll install a muzzle-shaped apparatus with prongs sticking out from it that will keep the

coyotes from munching on small children, but still allow it to easily ingest a chicken. Regrettably, that

will also mean they can still inhale small pets like cats, but hey, we don’t want a feral cat problem too!

It’d be sort of like BOGO nuisance control – Buy One (service,) Get One (free!)

Now it’s time to locate those neighborhoods fraught with feral fowl and release a few of your

wired assassins. Early mornings will probably be the best time; the chickens will be up, but no one else

will, and the fewer people that see a coyote wearing a backpack stroll across their lawn, the better.

Now go to the nearest greasy spoon for some scrambled eggs while your covert coyotes ingest a few

feral fowl. After a couple hours it’ll be time to head back into the hood’ and begin gathering your

troops. The GPS unit on the dash of your pickup will show you where each trooper is. Merely drive as

close as possible, hit the tazar button on your remote and the coyote will instantly become a quivering,

shuddering, four-legged bowl of jelly long enough for you to swoop it up and toss it into the cage in the

back of the truck. Repeat this until all the feral fowl cleanup crew is gathered, then head home and go

fishing the rest of the day while the coyotes relax in the shade and process the mornings take. These

guys will also make a dandy rabbit or rat cleanup crew as well. I recently saw a video clip on You Tube

of a coyote running the streets of Chicago where they have reportedly actually been released to help

control a growing rodent problem.

Well there you have it, another case of technology, good ole’ American ingenuity and Midwest

creativity coming together to solve a problem. Contact me now for your franchise starter kits and be

prepared; you never know when a feral-fowl problem might hit us right here in the Midwest. In the

mean time I’ll be cruisin’ the internet to learn how to train a coyote to retrieve. I wouldn’t mind havin’ at

least one on the crew that would bring me a chicken now and then for the table.

Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected]

The Covered Dish: Calico Chili

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First before I mess up again. I will be at The Cook’s Nook, McPherson, Kansas,

Saturday morning October 4th

I put the wrong date in one of my earlier columns. This class is limited to only 20

guests so sign up quickly. We’ll sample new dishes and I’ll include ‘tons’ of great

tips for tail gating and entertaining in general.

Tonight my entire family jumped on board to assist me with an outdoor wedding.

I’ve never seen my fellas’ work so diligently serving folks. They were a godsend!

As much as I love pie I don’t want to make another one for a few days!

I am excited to come back to the Wichita/McPherson area this coming weekend.

Since we were attending a big family event on Saturday night the cooking class at

the Cook’s Nook just fell into place. Nothing beats a road trip in the fall season.

It’s fun to pack a picnic lunch and just hit the road going where the spirit leads.

I always brew a thermos of coffee and stick in an old blanket just in case one of us

takes a nap.

After the first of October I’m going to have a couple of weeks where there’s

no additional cooking events. As much as I enjoy doing classes and bits of

catering it’s hard work. I did take a few hours out this past Tuesday and went

boating on Table Rock Lake. My friends and I enjoyed discovering a parcel of

persimmon trees with a grove of maybe twenty trees. I couldn’t believe that

many persimmon trees in one place. I know you’re wondering what the inside

of the seed was shaped like? It was a spoon, which means lots of snow this

winter. We also spied a blue heron among the rocks spearing a snake for lunch. I

even got a decent picture of the little escapade. A special note on persimmons.

Personally I do not like to eat this little fruit, but I love cooking with the pulp. It

makes great sweet breads and cookies for starters.

My new assistant, Dawn, named my chili dish this week. Last week I told

everyone that I had another ‘take’ on the pork chili. It was well received by family

and friends last weekend so that means I can place it in the column. It is very

hearty and I’ve included lots and I mean lots of different ideas for recipe change

for a 10am tailgating class. There’s a good chance

outs.

Have a beautiful week. Stop and enjoy each other and the bounty

that we take for granted every day. Simply yours, The Covered Dish

www.thecovereddish.com

Calico Chili

3 pounds or 5 cups chopped chicken breast

2 carrots, chopped fine

2 stalks celery, chopped fine

1 large onion, chopped

4 tablespoons butter

2 teaspoons cumin

1 teaspoon ground oregano

1 teaspoon white pepper

1 tablespoon chili powder

2 additional tablespoons butter

3/4 cup white flour

6 cups low sodium chicken stock

1 small can green chilies

1 can creamed corn

1 can yellow corn, drained

1 can white hominy, drained

Using aluminum foil bake the chicken breasts in a foil pouch at 350 degrees until

the juices run clear. The time will vary depending upon whether you are using

thawed chicken or frozen. I sprinkle my favorite seasoning spice on top and seal

up the bag. Place the pouch in a jelly roll pan in case there is a leak.

In a large stockpot place the 4 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. Add

the onion, celery and carrot. Cook until onion is totally translucent. Stir in all

the dry seasonings. Now add the extra 2 tablespoons of butter, stirring to melt.

Sprinkle the white flour over the ingredients to blend. Pour the 6 cups of stock

into the mixture and stir until smooth. Continue heating until the mixture comes

to a good thick boil. Reduce heat and stir in the chopped chicken, green chilies,

creamed corn, regular drained corn and drained hominy.

This is so thick it could practically be served over cooked grits or rice. When

served as a chowder I like to top the dish with shredded pepper jack cheese.